Gf switched off

[GLOCKMAN23C]

Having dealt with alcoholics in the past, they won't get help unless they want help. Don't let them take you with them. Let her go. Some hit bottom and will seek help, some will just drag everyone they know along with them. Many are good people when they're sober, but get a few drinks in them and they turn into a number of different things; a raging maniac to a sobbing fool, sometimes all of the above and everything in between.

 

[bonkers1919]

Been there, done that. Crazy is as crazy does.............RUN AWAY, DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!

 

[CindyE]

Sometimes love doesn't conquer all. Sometimes treating others the way you want to be treated, and having all the compassion and understanding in the world doesn't work. Depression, anxiety, bipolar are manageable with counseling, meds, etc. People can't help it that they have these issues, but it's their responsibility to manage it. An emotionally abusive personality is a huge red flag. She is being emotionally abusive and doesn't respect you. I can almost guarantee, if you stay in this relationship, you will look back on this thread one day and wonder why you didn't listen. Sorry. I know it's tough, but some of us here know what we are talking about. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to walk away.

 

[IndyDave1776]

Sometimes love doesn't conquer all. Sometimes treating others the way you want to be treated, and having all the compassion and understanding in the world doesn't work. Depression, anxiety, bipolar are manageable with counseling, meds, etc. People can't help it that they have these issues, but it's their responsibility to manage it. An emotionally abusive personality is a huge red flag. She is being emotionally abusive and doesn't respect you. I can almost guarantee, if you stay in this relationship, you will look back on this thread one day and wonder why you didn't listen. Sorry. I know it's tough, but some of us here know what we are talking about. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to walk away.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

You want to be the White Knight who rides in and saves her from herself. You are the male Florence Nightingale, dating the "fixer upper" so you can "fix them". You can't. It will end badly and painfully. You can end it now. You can end it 10 years from now with children caught in the middle, wasted years of your life, and your own shiny new mental scars from dealing with it all. Or you can end it now.

You cannot save her from herself. You cannot let guilt of "what if she does.... if I leave" keep you trapped. Move on.

 

[churchmouse]

Well everyone is saying to run but I'm going to try and help her if I can, I know this wasn't her it was the beer and her depression it wasn't her normal self, so if she doesn't want help then it's over, she hasn't had a easy life her father was abusive and left her and her mom so all I can do is try I know she is a good person and needs help, yeah sounds stupid for a crazy girl but I can try

OK.....then why have you totally wasted everyones time and emotions.
In all of this and you choose to stay.
Are you fearful a replacement is not in your future.
There is if you are open to change. Maybe not today and might nit be for a while but there is a good partner out there for you somewhere.

Looks like another one will bite the dust but not for the groups lack of sharing personal experiences to get your eyes open.

Next thread you open make it about a new gun you want/bought or a political () opinion please. Just saying.

 

[churchmouse]

Having dealt with alcoholics in the past, they won't get help unless they want help. Don't let them take you with them. Let her go. Some hit bottom and will seek help, some will just drag everyone they know along with them. Many are good people when they're sober, but get a few drinks in them and they turn into a number of different things; a raging maniac to a sobbing fool, sometimes all of the above and everything in between.

Wow.....did you know my 2nd "X"...............

 

[churchmouse]

This woman is in the process of escalating this into something even worse than it already is (plenty bad enough!), either entangling you in the legal system in a way that could cause you severe long term ramifications, dragging you into her vortex of mental illness, or even a dirt nap.
I'm not trying to be flippant at all.
You are in a situation that will only get worse and harder to extricate yourself from unless you run for the hills.
Do that, and see to it that you put as much physical and virtual distance between yourself and her as possible.
Seriously, this is some major league bad mojo if you don't take measures to see that you never see her again.

But Pink.....he is going to help her.

 

[SEIndSAM]

 

[churchmouse]

Brings back some painful memory's.

 

[halfmileharry]

I hope the guy's world gets back on it's axis.
I'm sure I could talk til i'm blue in the face.
It just goes to verify that ... "IF your problems are money then you don't have problems"
BG, Hope all works out for you and maybe she's not the only one that needs to at least speak to a professional.
Best wishes.

 

[oldpink]

You want to be the White Knight who rides in and saves her from herself. You are the male Florence Nightingale, dating the "fixer upper" so you can "fix them". You can't. It will end badly and painfully. You can end it now. You can end it 10 years from now with children caught in the middle, wasted years of your life, and your own shiny new mental scars from dealing with it all. Or you can end it now.

You cannot save her from herself. You cannot let guilt of "what if she does.... if I leave" keep you trapped. Move on.

Damnit!
If only the rep system were still working for that wisdom mingled with eloquence.

But Pink.....he is going to help her.

Yep...too many guys get caught up in trying to be the one person who can come riding to the rescue and wind up as so much twisted wreckage.

 

[churchmouse]

If she doesn't want help then I will run always and she can live happily alone w her mom, oh more info she is 30 no car or license and no savings account so,

That is on her. Not you. At 30 the tracks should be laid for what you want in this life.
Pounding 30 beers in her mental state is not only stupid/dangerous it is also damned expensive. Wonder where her savings/car went.

If I seem a bit blunt I am. With good reason.
I do wish you the best in this life but you have to seek the best out and not just settle for what you bump into.

 

[KG1]

No offence to the OP but man you need a new life plan. Employment problems...crazy GF problems. This **** is just not working.

 

[Hoosierdood]

So you come here asking for advice, and get almost 100 replies unanimously telling you to run, many of them based on personal experience in similar situations. And your response is "Thanks everyone, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

Maybe the 2 of you are perfect for each other. Crazy loves company.

 

[churchmouse]

So you come here asking for advice, and get almost 100 replies unanimously telling you to run, many of them based on personal experience in similar situations. And your response is "Thanks everyone, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

Maybe the 2 of you are perfect for each other. Crazy loves company.

Looks like it.

 

[seedubs1]

Read this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Guide-W...477486148&sr=1-1&keywords=mans+guide+to+women
John Gottman.....Read his stuff, watch his youtube stuff, and learn some things about searching for the right woman.

 

[oldpink]

So you come here asking for advice, and get almost 100 replies unanimously telling you to run, many of them based on personal experience in similar situations. And your response is "Thanks everyone, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

Maybe the 2 of you are perfect for each other. Crazy loves company.

It would be nice if you were wrong, but it sure looks that way.
Advice refused when given in good faith after a plea for it is a huge waving red flag that someone is probably more into unburdening himself a bit rather than seeking counsel for a new direction.

 

[churchmouse]

It would be nice if you were wrong, but it sure looks that way.
Advice refused when given in good faith after a plea for it is a huge waving red flag that someone is probably more into unburdening himself a bit rather than seeking counsel for a new direction.

I have another theory but can only share it off forum.....

 

[Doug]

This has me thinking. Is a man who stays with an out of control level crazy, abusive woman roughly analogous to a woman who stays with a physically abusive man? Seems like being unwilling or unable to leave is an all too common factor.

Yes. They seem exactly the same to me. They both have a skewed self-concept. They both know, deep down, that nothing will change in the relationship. They both know they are on a path to destruction and, when it comes, they will say they "couldn't help themselves" and "just had to stay because she/he needed me so much."