I'll add to this, there is a finite amount of land. They aren't making any more!So you can't have your cake and eat it to...
How did the non HOA options go away? Did someone buy all those existing neighborhoods and add a HOA or redevelop them? It seems there's a LOT of newer homes in the marketplace, which naturally have HOAs. The older, non HOA neighborhoods are still there.
Unless your talking the older downtown areas of these small suburban towns, then yes, postage stamp sized lots are a HOA thing. I grew up on an acre in a suburb (house built in '63) and most of my friends weren't in a HOA neighborhood either and were on half an acre, in a slightly newer home (mid 80's).
Postage stamp lot in my mind is a quarter of an acre, give or take.
The market today is different than 20, 10, or even 5 years ago... it should be no surprise some options are disappearing, regardless of price.
It took us a few years of looking at bare land (and homes with land), to find what we were looking for. You'd better believe we jumped on it when we found the one that checked all our boxes...