When visiting New Friends and Family

[LegatoRedrivers]

What it comes down to is that each of us should approach it in whatever way we feel comfortable doing so. Some people won't carry at church because they are uncomfortable bringing a gun into a worship service. Same thing applies here. If anyone is uncomfortable wearing a gun into a another's house then don't. Personally, I carry everywhere, including parties at people's houses I don't know well and they never know anything about it. I'm fine with that. Same with church. My gun is part of who I am. If someone confronted me about it while at their house then I would do the same as if a business asked me to leave. It is their right not to want a weapon in their place. I would then either leave (politely and respectfully) or take the gun out and lock it in the car. But if they don't know or don't ask then I will continue to wear it and probably not even think about it. --and neither will they.

I understand and respect that stance, and I stand behind those who have posted here with that stance 100%.

I just believe that for me personally, there are some situations that are better served with a soft step than a big stick. There are rare occasions when the two can be mutually exclusive.

And yes, that is what she said.

 

[Jack Burton]

We've all said it - Your rights end where mine begin. I've been OCing more and more, and CC when I feel it is more appropriate, but a man's home is his castle. I might not care if a responsible friend is carrying in my home; but over the years I have learned to accept that not everyone can live up to the awesome that is Legato. "You can, and should, hold yourself to the highest standard; but if you expect that standard from everyone you meet all you will hold is disappointment."



My friends and family know that I carry, and reasonably assume that I will be carrying when we go out together. I carry into friends homes when I know they're fine with it. But what about acquaintances? People I am familiar with, but I don't know quite what they're all about yet?

If a police officer, who carries a firearm every day, can freak out about a private citizen out on the street carrying (right or wrong, we all know it happens) how might a private citizen react when they find out you've brought one in their home? A person who may or may not have had a bad experience that fosters an irrational prejudice against guns?

Trust can be a tricky thing. Not everyone has the benefits of specific knowledge and training that is abundant on this board. A person without that knowledge, who knows only what the Brady Bunch has told them about guns, will see you carrying a gun into their home as a betrayal, and that initial perceived betrayal will only make it more difficult for you to teach them that the Brady Bunch is wrong.

And don't give me that, "Concealed means concealed." It doesn't apply here. If this is a person who is a friend, or a person you intend to foster as a friend, they're going to find out you carry eventually. And if they are more anti-gun, the fact that you've carried into their home without their express consent or knowledge is just going to stick in their craw more. It may be because they don't know any better, or because they have been mislead, but old lies can die hard. If they feel you've given them reason to distrust you, whether they are right or wrong, it's going to be more difficult to show them the light.



Ah, Jetgirl... you know I do so enjoy agreeing with you, but alas...

I've been in plenty of situations when I was invited into someone's home when I wasn't particularly chummy with them. Sometimes when I didn't know them at all.

Say, when my x-gf's invited me to a party at her friend's house so I could meet her friends. My ex wasn't anti-gun, she grew up in a gun friendly household, but she didn't own any or have a LTCH. Some of her friends, however, not so much.

I remember one of the first parties she asked me to go to with her, I left my sidearm in the glove box out in the car. She asked me to, and I wanted to make a good first impression; and being respectful of her friend's home seemed a good first step. I could always talk to her friends, find out their opinions and ideas (gently), and subsequently carry into their home if they were ok with it.

While I was there, I met a friend of theirs that was open carrying a 1911. I struck up a conversation with him, we talked guns for a while, and he seemed like a really nice guy. He was training to become a police officer, and had only recently started carrying. As a matter of fact, this was the first time he'd hung out with these people since he got his LTCH.

Later on, the ex mentioned that her friend (the one who owned the house) was very upset that he'd carried into her party. It made her friend uncomfortable, even though she'd known this guy for years and trusted him. She didn't want guns in her house, especially around all those people drinking. She was one of those people , it had just never really come up between the two of them.

If I'd carried into the party, I would have been "that guy." I would have been the person who made the homeowner uncomfortable, and upset the GF's best friend.

I hung out with her and her friend after that, she found out I carried, and had no problem with me carrying while we were out and about. She didn't want me to carry in her home, and that was her right. Do you really think "Sorry, hon; I can't hang out with your best friend tonight because she doesn't support my right to carry in her house." would have gone over real well?


Because, Frost, if it turns out the person who has let you into their home is a Brady Bunch supporter, "Think of the Children" is the only phrase they know how to say. It's the reason the ex's friend didn't want guns in her home, even when the kid wasn't there. Her logic was flawed, but it takes all types.

Good for you... I personally like chocolate fudge sundaes but my wife likes strawberry sundaes. Go figure...

Our taste in sundaes is about as meaningful as you and I disagreeing on this issue. I promise that I won't make you carry without telling, and you promise me that you won't try to make me announce to the neighborhood that I am carrying. That's jake with me.

You can choose to believe what you wish about me, and I'll put you in the same category as I do those who like strawberry sundaes -- fundamentally unsound of mind and character but perhaps worth putting up with anyway for their other, sterling attributes.

In the end... it really doesn't make a difference now, does it? I still order chocolate fudge and my wife still orders strawberry. And this year we celebrated our 38th anniversary.

 

[.45 Dave]

Now if all we feel warm and fuzzy I think you two should kiss and make up!

 

[Roadie]

My point here isn't so much in whether or not you should carry in a friend's house, but rather the fallacy that you can pick and choose where you "need" to carry..

 

[JetGirl]

Ah, Jetgirl... you know I do so enjoy agreeing with you, but alas...

Wow, you got a lot out of the question "wouldn't you already know?".

I've been in plenty of situations when I was invited into someone's home when I wasn't particularly chummy with them. Sometimes when I didn't know them at all.

Say, when my x-gf's invited me to a party at her friend's house so I could meet her friends.

I guess that there^ is the difference. I don't go to parties at "acquaintances" homes and I don't host parties where acquaintances are invited. My party-going is rather tame and includes people who are also either "gun-folks" or know that I am (family or tight friends).
In the event of my attending some social function with lots of people I *don't* know... all the more reason I'm carrying.

 

[youngda9]

My wife's sister. She is cute. And thorough. She knows I like to carry in my front pockets. She searches them extensively...

 

[.45 Dave]

Wow, you got a lot out of the question "wouldn't you already know?".

I guess that there^ is the difference. I don't go to parties at "acquaintances" homes and I don't host parties where acquaintances are invited. My party-going is rather tame and includes people who are also either "gun-folks" or know that I am (family or tight friends).
In the event of my attending some social function with lots of people I *don't* know... all the more reason I'm carrying.

Got to admit, JetGirl, you make a good point. People you don't know might have a homicidal ex lurking about. Read the papers--happens everyday. Or some one who might flip out for reasons unknown.

Years ago I had a friend, a woman, who went to a party down in Mitchell for women. I don't remember what the party was Avon, or some homewares type party in Mitchell. Anyway, one of the women's husband came looking for his wife, broke in and began beating up the women. My friend's son came home from a hunting trip, confronted the guy and the guy beat him up. Her son went out to his truck, got his hunting rifle and tried to make the guy stand down. He wouldn't, rushed him and her son shot and killed him. Her son was not charged--it was considered justified. Point is: you don't know who is going to show up when or where that just might be violent. I hadn't really thought about that episode til now.

 

[Hookeye]

I only party with gun people

Wait a minute.............all my friends are gun people, and so are my family................kinda stacked the deck then. My bad.

Guess I need to start hanging out with the enemy.

 

[Mark 1911]

Would you ask somebody if you could bring your "dog" to their house or would you just show up and expect them to be ok with it? If they were not, obviously it is your right to leave, but it is also my right to assume not all people are "dog" people and may not want a "dog" in their home.

We are all expressing our opinions here, no need to jump on people because they do things differently than you or chose to show their respect in a different way.

I said I would let them know I was carrying. A bit of respect goes a long way. It appears most of you don't care what people think so why comment back on the way somebody else thinks?

Go get 'em Jazzy. I tried to respond to your pm but unable to as I don't have 50 posts yet. I should be there soon.

 

[Mark 1911]

Check the Police Blotter for "nice" areas like Carmel, Fishers, etc etc. Crime happens EVERYWHERE.

Munster issues a brief newsletter every month with the water bill. It has a police blotter section in it. I thought I was in a "nice" area too before I started reading it. Unbelievable all the "stuff" that happens within walking distance!

 

[Mark 1911]

I only party with gun people

Teddy Roosevelt said "Never Trust a Man Who Doesn't Hunt"

Mark 1911 corollary: "Never Trust a Man Who Doesn't Own a Gun"

 

[CPT Nervous]

Huh. Never thought about it. I open carry, so if they don't like it, I just leave.

I was at a Christmas party with my now ex's family, OCing the 226. One of her uncles told me to watch out for the little one. The was a young boy there, 3 or 4, that seeming interested in it. Everyone was okay with it, he just didn't want the kid to get a hold of it. Near the end of the shindig, one of her other uncles was eying me weird. He said, "Is that a real gun??" I said, "Of course!" He said, "Why would you carry a real gun?" I said, "Because a toy gun wouldn't do me any good." He just kinda gave me dirty look, and off we went. She had her .38, but wore it concealed. I don't do that, so I went load and proud.


If you don't want guns in your home, then you don't want me either. That's how I see it.

 

[JetGirl]

Would you ask somebody if you could bring your "dog" to their house or would you just show up and expect them to be ok with it?

Much like the cigarette pack scenario, a dog is not really a good comparison to a gun either. My gun isn't going to uncontrollably pee on their carpet, chew their coffee table, hump somebody's leg, shed hair all over the furniture, bark at every person's movement, crap in the corner, or barf under a bed somewhere.

 

[CPT Nervous]

Okay, I see guns like cell phones. Some people "conceal" them, others wear them openly. Do cell phones make me nervous? Absolutely. Do I freak out when I see one in public? Yes. Wait, where was I going with this?

Okay, like a phone, a gun is a tool. It should be no different to OC a PDA and OC an EDC. Same concept. Same argument? Why do some people wear cell phones openly? Do people who carry their phones in their pocket hate people who carry them openly?

What if a 5 year old girl came up and grabbed your phone? You'd look awfully silly...

 

[Hayseed_40]

Much like the cigarette pack scenario, a dog is not really a good comparison to a gun either. My gun isn't going to uncontrollably pee on their carpet, chew their coffee table, hump somebody's leg, shed hair all over the furniture, bark at every person's movement, crap in the corner, or barf under a bed somewhere.

It will if your dog is a Glock.

 

[JetGirl]

It will if your dog is a Glock.

No dog is as punky as a Glock.

 

[GunsNstuff]

I only carry a pocket pistol so no one can ever see that I am armed (and I am armed at all times that it is legal) and it's not something I talk about to people. I am sure that some of the people I go around from day to day might be bothered by the fact that I have a loaded death machine switched to rock and roll on me lol, but they'll never know.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Much like the cigarette pack scenario, a dog is not really a good comparison to a gun either. My gun isn't going to uncontrollably pee on their carpet, chew their coffee table, hump somebody's leg, shed hair all over the furniture, bark at every person's movement, crap in the corner, or barf under a bed somewhere.[/QUOTE]

I have been guilty of a few of these things on occasion

 

[Vic_Mackey]

I have a wicker basket on my coffee table. When the boys come over to clean/modify guns, or drink some beer, anytime really, I have them put the mags in the basket. My brother had an ND on a camping trip once, but other than him, the rest of the boys are safe. But for the sake of safe coonfingering and such, I keep mine loaded (obviously, my house). If we're just playing cards or whatever, we stay red, but any handling at all, straight to the basket.

 

[Vic_Mackey]

It will if your dog is a Glock.

+1 for my laugh of the day