Your random funny thoughts thread....

[Mrs Evilwrench]

So the other day my son asked me,"Mom, were you in the hospital for amnesia or pneumonia?" And I replied, "I don't remember!"



Well, I thought it was funny.....

 

[Bartman]

Not so much MY funny thought but it makes me chuckle every time I see it. In the Current Events section of the motorcycle fourm that I frequent, there are a couple of liberals pushing the gun control agenda. Myself and others are countering their idiocy with facts. I WISH I could take credit for this but it was one of the other guys. The usual suspect was pushing the Less guns = less crime idea. Someone pointed out that Chicago effectively disproves that idea.

Gun Control Pinhead: "Chicago would probably have a really low gun crime rate, but for that fact that the criminals are bringing in firearms from Detroit and elsewhere. All the more reason for federal laws against certain types of firearms."

2nd Supporter: "Well you got me there, I never thought of that. 'Chicago would have a real low crime rate if it weren't for criminals.' Nothing gets past you bro."

 

[BuddieReigns]

I think they should make tuna-flavored pancake syrup and call it Aunt Vagina.

 

[gungirl65]

When my son was around 7 we got him a kitten. We had always had males and the kitten was a female. The first night we had her she was in his room on his desk playing with him. He came running down the stairs to tell me his new kitten was a mutant because she had two butt holes.

I had to explain to him that was because she was a girl and girls were different than boys. Luckily he already knew that girls and boys were different so once I assured him she wasn't a mutant no other sensitive questions followed.

 

[BuddieReigns]

I also thought of an aphrodisiac for dogs called Spaniel Fly. For when you want to throw your dog a bone.

 

[dt420]

When my son was around 7 we got him a kitten. We had always had males and the kitten was a female. The first night we had her she was in his room on his desk playing with him. He came running down the stairs to tell me his new kitten was a mutant because she had two butt holes.

I had to explain to him that was because she was a girl and girls were different than boys. Luckily he already knew that girls and boys were different so once I assured him she wasn't a mutant no other sensitive questions followed.

I used to have 2 cats, a male and a female. We named the boy almond joy and the girls mounds, because almond joy has nuts and mounds dont.

 

[marcum man]

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

 

[BuddieReigns]

If they wanted to make dogs really happy, they'd make dog treats that taste like cat turds.

 

[Scarecrow]

I had something, then I read the word boobs... it's gone.

 

[JB357Mag]

I bet for an Indian, shooting a old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey


Jimmy

 

[slowG]

I witnessed a thug at the mall with his hand in his pants touching his privates. Very charming ...

 

[PeaShooter]

My dog just had her anal glands expressed at the vet...

 

[gungirl65]

My dog just had her anal glands expressed at the vet...

That would have been a funny story if you did it yourself at home and got all yucky just for trying to save a buck or were the one who had the procedure done.

 

[gungirl65]

I witnessed a thug at the mall with his hand in his pants touching his privates. Very charming ...

You should have yelled across the room, you better stop that sh*t or you'll go blind!!!!!

 

[CathyInBlue]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

 

[Frosty]

Your all abnormal...

Sorry, wrong thread!

 

[gungirl65]

Your all abnormal...

Sorry, wrong thread!

Hey, I've got a pic for that. Of course I do, right??????

 

[Frosty]

Hey, I got a pic for that. Of course I do, right??????

Yeah, I have days like that to

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

He was so excited, he was jumping around like a one-legged-tent-preacher.

 

[RedneckReject]

He was so excited, he was jumping around like a one-legged-tent-preacher.

My kids now think I'm nuts because I laughed incredibly hard at the visual that my mind just conjured up. Thank you