Would you shoot Sasquatch?

[ATOMonkey]

You did not forget to bury him feet first did you???

HA!! Trick question. Everyone who knows about bigfoot, knows you bury a bigfoot ass-first.

 

[ATOMonkey]

...and I'm becoming more and more convinced that a girl I used to date was, in fact, a bigfoot.

Most likely she was a bigfoot hybrid. While not uncommon, they tend to stick with their own, and as such aren't encountered by humans frequently.

Native humans have been co-habitanting with bigfoots in a symbiotic relationship for thousands of years.

 

[Scutter01]

Learning the bigfoot language was the biggest pain. It's mostly grunts and squeals.

I feel you, bro. It was the same way with my wife.

 

[iChokePeople]

I feel you, bro. It was the same way with my wife.

Dad?

 

[91FXRS]

I have already shot a bigfoot. He was immediately burried at sea with full bigfoot honors. We took a DNA sample and had it tested at our own lab to verify that it was indeed bigfoot. We also have pictures, but the public would only become frenzied if we release them.

So, just take my word for it. I've never lied before.

Well if that's the case I am now seeking donations to fund my exploration of the sea to find his remains. Vouchers for cruise ships would also be an acceptable donation.

 

[rhino]

But see, there's one of the problems. Being unfamiliar with sasquatch behaviors, how can you tell the difference between "real aggressive-like" and "very excited about Benedick and Beatrice's relationship and displaying his passion about the play"? So poor Sasquatch is trying to convey his enthusiasm, maybe trying to tell you that he somehow scored tickets to Ado at a little Shakespearean theater next month, and you misinterpret and start busting caps in him.

You make an excellent point, however:

1. You presume that I am not acquainted with typical Sasquatch behavioral patterns and signs of aggression. This is a a fact not in evidence, because I have watched enough reality TV and read enough articles in tabloids to be familiar with had hairy-butt rolls.
2. Any error would be on the side of caution (and perhaps a culinary coups).

If I do make a mistake and he survives, I would consider paying for his ticket (but not for his date).

 

[rhino]

Maybe the Sasquatch is like Clyde the orangutan. You don't have to ACTUALLY shoot it, you just point your finger at it and say "Hey, Clyde! BANG!" and he'll fall down "dead". Only, you obviously wouldn't say "Clyde". You'd say whatever the Sasquatch's name is. Unless its name actually is Clyde. That would be oddly coincidental. The real problem is determining its name before doing the whole finger-pointing thing. Maybe you could go through its mail or something beforehand.

Uh, why not just read the tag that his mom sewed into the waistband of his undies before he went to summer camp?

Well... with rules of engagement like that, you could never go to a bar in Terre Haute.

Now THAT is some funny ****.

...and I'm becoming more and more convinced that a girl I used to date was, in fact, a bigfoot.

You sure she wasn't just Greek? Maybe Zoub's sister?

(was that racist?)

 

[iChokePeople]

You sure she wasn't just Greek?

No, but she didn't bathe in perfume. And her feet were pretty big.

 

[Zoub]

It depends on what Sasquatch is doing.

No it doesn't. It is a yes / no question. You shoot him because he is a Squatch. The only agreed upon variable is if he speaks English you might choose to hesitate, stress might.

If you have to justify your actions, you should vote No and go watch Bambi.....................again.

 

[Zoub]

You sure she wasn't just Greek? Maybe Zoub's sister?

(was that racist?)

No Sister and not racist. Greek is not a protected class. I have checked "Other" for 30 years with no perceptable result.

 

[Zoub]

I feel you, bro. It was the same way with my wife.

Dad?

I love reunions!

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

i would lure him into my van by pretending to have a broken arm while loading up a couch, and knock him out. then i would put him in the pit in my basement and proceed to wash him down with a hose to remove dirt and/or matted hair. after a period of starvation and lotion treatments, i would skin him and have the greatest halloween costume ever. as long as i can avoid the sasquatch clarice starling (or at least utilize the d/a feature on my revolver), my plan is foolproof.

p.s. no "tuck dancing" for me in this scenario.

 

[Cwood]

i would lure him into my van by pretending to have a broken arm while loading up a couch, and knock him out. then i would put him in the pit in my basement and proceed to wash him down with a hose to remove dirt and/or matted hair. after a period of starvation and lotion treatments, i would skin him and have the greatest halloween costume ever. as long as i can avoid the sasquatch clarice starling (or at least utilize the d/a feature on my revolver), my plan is foolproof.

p.s. no "tuck dancing" for me in this scenario.

Just lure him into your van with candy!!!!

 

[rhino]

Sasquatch puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.

 

[riverman67]

Sasquatch puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.

You really are that twisted

 

[Mike Elzinga]

You really are that twisted

You have no idea how right you are, Sasquatch has it lucky compared to the groundhogs......

 

[dhnorris]

sasquatch would make a great snuggie

 

[CSORuger]

I need a recipe for BBQ Sasquatch, cooked over an open charcoal pit.

With plenty of cold beer.

 

[iChokePeople]

I need a recipe for BBQ Sasquatch, cooked over an open charcoal pit.

With plenty of cold beer.

Sasquatches urinate beer. It's not cold, though. For that, you need a yeti. A SNOW yeti.

 

[CSORuger]

Sasquatches urinate beer. It's not cold, though. For that, you need a yeti. A SNOW yeti.

Are you talk about Old Iron City Beer!