Obama Jokes

[SavageEagle]

YUCK! collard greens?!?!?! You can pass that chicken though. And you shoulda had my grandmother's cornbread... God I miss her...

 

[Glockman1989]

Every Cent You Make (I'll be taxing you) check this out kids, a short 3 min. vid. on the taxman Obumma.
YouTube - Every Cent You Make (I'll be taxing you)
"Banking Queen" - a Live Performance by Barney Frank
YouTube - "Banking Queen" - a Live Performance by Barney Frank
obama I get by with a little help from my friends
YouTube - obama I get by with a little help from my friends
Barack Obama: "Jeremiah was my Pastor..." [SPOOF]
YouTube - Barack Obama: "Jeremiah was my Pastor..." [SPOOF]
One Night In Baghdad
YouTube - One Night In Baghdad

 

[Scout]

 

[rich8483]

Hey now! Don't forget the skinny white guys! We like us some melon too!

what kind of melons are you refering to?

oh wait, we all know only half black guys like boobs.

 

[Big John]

what kind of melons are you refering to?

oh wait, we all know only half black guys like boobs.

I like BOOBS.

BIG ONES small ones white ones brown ones black ones yellow ones red ones!!!

pretty sure I am white too, sure as hell can't jump or dance and we all know white guys can't jump.

 

[Big John]

Hey who removed my watermelon and fried chicken tags????

Come on that was funny...

 

[SavageEagle]

what kind of melons are you refering to?

oh wait, we all know only half black guys like boobs.

I like all melons. Fruit and "fruit". I'm not prejudice.

I like BOOBS.

BIG ONES small ones white ones brown ones black ones yellow ones red ones!!!

pretty sure I am white too, sure as hell can't jump or dance and we all know white guys can't jump.

I can dance, I just prefer not to make a complete donkey's rear of myself. And... I can jump, but I can't dunk for the life of me! Not without a spring board that is. boooooooooobs are good too. I just hope this doesn't get us locked talking about them!

 

[Big John]

Figured a definition of RACIST was needed.




A “Progressive” Checklist for Culling Out Racists!

Racist - a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others.
In the on-line dictionary from which that definition was derived, the word “white” was omitted before the word “person,” no doubt the product of biased editing by a red-necked scalawag from the Old South still immersed in denial.
Keeping the formal definition above in mind, compare it to the applications used by politically correct progressives, ever watchful for wedge issues with which to divide the American people.
According to progressives, you are a racist if you:

• Are on record as believing that American culture, including contributions made by angry white Christian men, has produced the greatest and most successful society in human history;
• Get goose bumps and shivers up and down your spine when Old Glory is feted or when the Star Spangled Banner is performed;
• Believe that America is a sovereign nation and, as such, perfectly justified in securing our borders against invasion by illegal aliens and other criminals;
• Believe that the rule of law is a basic tenet of American democracy, and, as such, inviolable;
• Support enforcement of the Immigration Reform Control Act of 1986;
• Are proud of the English language, and support making English the official language of commerce, law, education, and culture in America;
• Oppose affirmative action, bilingualism and other reverse discrimination outrages;
• Watch FOX News for more than three hours in any given calendar quarter;
• Believe that the federal government should prevent illegal aliens from taking over American streets to demand rights and benefits reserved for U.S. citizens;
• Believe that Uncle Sam has an obligation to round up and deport illegal aliens, particularly during time of war;
• Believe that legislation is urgently needed to prevent illegal aliens from using “anchor babies” to circumvent U.S. law;
• Adamantly oppose amnesty, defined as anything short of deportation;
• Regard “Sanctuary Cities” as serious violations of federal law that should cause city officials to be arrested and prosecutedl
• Believe that in-state tuition breaks, driver’s licenses, and other progressive hand outs serve only to attract even more illegal aliens and should be unlawful;
• Oppose the use of taxpayer funds to print ballots, government information, and educational materials in languages other than English;
• Own two or more American flags and participate in tawdry displays of excessive Americanism on Flag Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and other patriotic holidays;
• Have knowingly registered or, perish the thought, voted Republican within the past 50 years;
• Failed to vote for Barack Obama;
• Are Caucasian, or look suspiciously like a Caucasian.

Please note that this checklist does not apply to African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, or Native Americans because people from those racial and ethnic backgrounds are genetically incapable of being racists!

 

[GetA2J]

Every Cent You Make (I'll be taxing you) check this out kids, a short 3 min. vid. on the taxman Obumma.
YouTube - Every Cent You Make (I'll be taxing you)
"Banking Queen" - a Live Performance by Barney Frank
YouTube - "Banking Queen" - a Live Performance by Barney Frank
obama I get by with a little help from my friends
YouTube - obama I get by with a little help from my friends
Barack Obama: "Jeremiah was my Pastor..." [SPOOF]
YouTube - Barack Obama: "Jeremiah was my Pastor..." [SPOOF]
One Night In Baghdad
YouTube - One Night In Baghdad

While watching one of these on youtube I saw this :
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uAhg9Qg-Pc]YouTube - The Barack Obama Song: The "Audacity For Nope."[/ame]

Noteable quote: "Personal Pride vs Barak-racy"

 

[Scout]

 

[rich8483]

 

[rich8483]

 

[bigiron]

"i said i wanted extra crispy, NOT original!"

 

[bullet293]

on a lighter note
Q: whats the diffrence between the national zoo and the white house?
A: one has an african lion and the other has a lion (lying) african

 

[JcJ]

 

[semperfi211]

 

[Phil502]

The first joke about feeding a family of four; Black Americans are what, 15-18% of the population? And 51-53% of Americans voted for the President? That means a lot more people other than Black Americans voted for the guy. How do you get racism in the joke then?

I don't even get the first picture. I recognize Denzel Washington, and the guy on the far right seems familiar. Obama is on record for the "wealth re-distribution" comments, numerous times, and black folks voted for him by 99%. So how is this one racist?

The same for the "Quaker Oats" parody. Where's the racism?

The same for the photoshop for Obama and someone(?), and McCain as a black man? how is that racist?

The next one is a parody of the not-so-comedian that did the movie with the Eastern European accent? Again, racist? How so?

The last one, if I act really really sensitive, I might see a glimmer of how someone might feel this was racially tinged. But it's his healthcare "reforms" that have no substance, and very well could be thought of as coming from a witch doctor, incoherent as they are. Would an American Indian shaman work better for everyone so sensitive? Or a Hollywood mystic from the Far East, ala Charlie Chan?

I sure didn't hear all this when the pictures of Bush with the chimpanzee face photoshopped together made it's presence.

I'm disappointed a lot of this seems to be "racist by opportunity", and will diminish the hate of true incidents of racism by making people think of the little boy who cried wolf too often.

The first picture is from the movie "American Gangster"

 

[Raye7r]

To all, hey, I just got back from trick or treating, I had a
really bad night, I was chased down one street by an angry mob
with a rope, they kept
shouting lynch him ? on the next street i was hit in the right
knee with a large rock from a slingshot, i rounded the corner
and headed home, thats when i was hit 3 times times in the left
rear-end cheek with a bb gun, the bill at local emergency room
was 650 dollars, and my health insurance plan will only pay 35
dollars, a high price to pay for a peanut butter
cup and a stale pack of cupcakes, I guess its just the bad
economey, or
maybe i made a big mistake using that Barrak Obama mask,??

 

[rambone]

To all, hey, I just got back from trick or treating, I had a
really bad night, I was chased down one street by an angry mob
with a rope, they kept
shouting lynch him ? on the next street i was hit in the right
knee with a large rock from a slingshot, i rounded the corner
and headed home, thats when i was hit 3 times times in the left
rear-end cheek with a bb gun, the bill at local emergency room
was 650 dollars, and my health insurance plan will only pay 35
dollars, a high price to pay for a peanut butter
cup and a stale pack of cupcakes, I guess its just the bad
economey, or
maybe i made a big mistake using that Barrak Obama mask,??

LOL

 

[LLDJR]

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says,

"What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "Whats
your IQ?"

The guy says, "168".

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and
medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back
into the bar.

The robot bartender says,"What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini".

Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and
says,"Whats your IQ?

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar,Budweiser and John Deere
tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try
it one more time. He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "Whats your IQ"

The guy says,
"Uh,about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says,
"So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"