Obama Jokes

[ArmedProgrammer]

Even if he could pull three trillion dollars out of thin air, he WOULD NOT use it to balance any budget. He would ONLY use it to buy more votes and special interests.

Ahem... shouldn't it read something like "...I'm going to pull 3 Trillion dollars out of YOUR arse???""

 

[JetGirl]

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil
Tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and
Talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the
Cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.
When she was Finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen
Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks
For 4 hours. When he was finished the devil informed him that there would
Be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to
Call the USA free. The devil replied, "Since Obama became president of the
USA , the country has gone to hell, so naturally...

... it's a local call."

 

[SavageEagle]

A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather support for his Health Plan. Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. ​

But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ***?"​

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse's ***."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas ​

drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."​

 

[rich8483]

wow, i thought this was a dead thread.

good joke, have seen it before though

 

[Arm America]

The joke's on us I'm afraid.

 

[SavageEagle]

(read until the end
Please..... Don't break this chain!!!

As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in e-mails, BUT this one is really important!

It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 300 million people. We don't want to lose
any names on the list so just hit forward and send on.

Please keep it going!

To show your support for Obama's health care reform, please go to the end of the list and add your name:

1. Nancy Pelosi

2.

 

[Markedup]

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires..

So my wife called him a sh..-head.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote...

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

 

[Bill of Rights]

As has been said... the problem with Obama jokes is that his supporters don't feel they're funny and the rest of us know they aren't jokes.