NWI INGO General Post - Part 4

[gunbunnies]

Do tell....

 

[geronimojoe85]

The Circus, Act Two:

Act Two begins with the spectacle of trained cats. My assistant wheels out a cart with several cats sitting patiently as the previously stone faced crowd begins to soften in a mutual release of "oh how cute." Freaking cats get these people every time, I think to myself, as my assistant brings the cart to a stop in the center of the ring.

My assistant, a bumbling old man with a horrible speech impediment and what appears to be a drinking problem, takes a bow and slowly shuffles out of the spotlight. "Good luck," he says as he leaves the ring. I reply "Good luck finding a restroom or an unlocked vehicle for you to defile yourself in tonight." The crowd shifts in their seats and whispers to each other in hushed tones "I hope you remembered to lock the car."

Suddenly, the circus organ begins playing a cheery tune and the cats jump off the cart one after another and take their positions around the ring. At the center of this large circle the cats face me their new found god and await their instructions. A drumroll overtakes the organ and the cats know its freaking go time. As the cymbal crashes I signal the first cat to do its trick, but instead of walking on its hind legs it decides to roll around on the dirt floor. I signal again and it stops looks at me and says, "my wife has a 99.4° fever, can I go home early?" Another interrupts with "I have the flu." Another still begins "my grandmother died, my grandfather is in the hospital, my father is going crazy and my brother is an addict." Suddenly they all begin talking over each other in a cacophony of call offs and complaints.

Through the noise I hear a stuttering voice "uh, uh, uh, we, uh, don't get, uh, paid enough," as my oafish assistant shuffles to the ring with his pants around his ankles and hand in his underpants. The audience once again falls silent as their eyes judge me for everything.

 

[dansgotguns]

Act 2 of the circus is in the works.

Lions tigers and bears? Oh my.

 

[jedi]

I don't think I want to dig a hole big enough for you.
If anything will scare him away, it will be your penchant for pink & hello kitty!

ssssshhhhhh they need to go to a meet & shoot to meet Da PINKFather. I don't know if he will approve of them yet.

Wow I didn't even see this thread before now!

My name is Dave and I'm a thug. New to shooting and to INGO. Nice to see there are so many folks nearby. Hope to meet some of you in the future.

Another thug!!!! We were getting a bit too many rednecks in lately and a lot of those "porter county" cousins.

 

[dansgotguns]

 

[melensdad]

On my way to the cigar lounge for peace and quiet.

 

[dansgotguns]

On my way to the cigar lounge for peace and quiet.

Every time I've tried to go last week and the week before something came up. But not this week, I will be there eventually lol

 

[geronimojoe85]

Since you're out you'd be my best friend if you brought something to smoke by my place of business.

 

[dansgotguns]

Man I don't know why I go to threads other than this one, nothing but problems.

 

[Nwijoe]

Act Two begins with the spectacle of trained cats. My assistant wheels out a cart with several cats sitting patiently as the previously stone faced crowd begins to soften in a mutual release of "oh how cute." Freaking cats get these people every time, I think to myself, as my assistant brings the cart to a stop in the center of the ring.

My assistant, a bumbling old man with a horrible speech impediment and what appears to be a drinking problem, takes a bow and slowly shuffles out of the spotlight. "Good luck," he says as he leaves the ring. I reply "Good luck finding a restroom or an unlocked vehicle for you to defile yourself in tonight." The crowd shifts in their seats and whispers to each other in hushed tones "I hope you remembered to lock the car."

Suddenly, the circus organ begins playing a cheery tune and the cats jump off the cart one after another and take their positions around the ring. At the center of this large circle the cats face me their new found god and await their instructions. A drumroll overtakes the organ and the cats know its freaking go time. As the cymbal crashes I signal the first cat to do its trick, but instead of walking on its hind legs it decides to roll around on the dirt floor. I signal again and it stops looks at me and says, "my wife has a 99.4° fever, can I go home early?" Another interrupts with "I have the flu." Another still begins "my grandmother died, my grandfather is in the hospital, my father is going crazy and my brother is an addict." Suddenly they all begin talking over each other in a cacophony of call offs and complaints.

Through the noise I hear a stuttering voice "uh, uh, uh, we, uh, don't get, uh, paid enough," as my oafish assistant shuffles to the ring with his pants around his ankles and hand in his underpants. The audience once again falls silent as their eyes judge me for everything.

I dont know what I just read... but I like it!

 

[jedi]

Man I don't know why I go to threads other than this one, nothing but problems.

^This is why I stopped going to the politic one.

 

[jedi]

I dont know what I just read... but I like it!

oh no you and Joe must be from the same mold! Nothing but trouble.

 

[melensdad]

Hey Jedi, where are my Girl Scout Cookies!?!

 

[jedi]

Hey Jedi, where are my Girl Scout Cookies!?!

in the van. we were going to stop today but alas never got to US-30.

 

[geronimojoe85]

I dont know what I just read... but I like it!

Thanks.
It's my attempt at venting my frustrations of daily life in colorful prose.

I'm glad you like it.

You can read back a few pages and catch "act one"

 

[sadclownwp]

My new shotgun is home, all I have to do now is decide if I want to strip it down and get it cerecoted or not. But she is a hell of a shooter.

 

[melensdad]

in the van. we were going to stop today but alas never got to US-30.

There is an envelope at the cash register that says JEDI with the $$$ for the cookies.

My new shotgun is home, all I have to do now is decide if I want to strip it down and get it cerecoted or not. But she is a hell of a shooter.

PICTURES OR ITS NOT HOME

Since you're out you'd be my best friend if you brought something to smoke by my place of business.

I've got the sick little dog with me, my job is to keep him calm and quiet. My wife has a bunch of teachers at the house *****ing about stupid students. Of course, teachers are drinkers, they are pounding down the booze and I had to get the dog out of the house so he would not re-injure himself. NOT gonna make it out anywhere else, just here and then back home (later).

 

[xfrostybeersx]

in the van. we were going to stop today but alas never got to US-30.

Jedi's too scared to go on the south side of 30.

 

[melensdad]

Jedi's too scared to go on the south side of 30.

In all fairness, I think Jedi is smoke adverse. And even though I'm sitting here with a dog on my lap and not smoking a cigar, there is plenty of smoke in the air in here with about a half dozen cigars burning in the hands of the patrons in the lounge.

Then again, Jedi, being a north of 30 thug, probably thinks all smokers look like this =>

 

[aclark]

Anyone have a keltec PLR-22? I really want one, but never seen or shot one.