INGO: Joke of the day page

[IndyDave1776]

Has anyone heard the story about the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in Dog?

 

[Thor]

Has anyone heard the story about the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in Dog?

The Hound of Heaven.


Woof. Do you want to hear my other dog impression? Woof woof.

 

[sharkey]

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?


He stayed up all night wondering if there's a dog.

 

[actaeon277]

The Hound of Heaven.


Woof. Do you want to hear my other dog impression? Woof woof.

Okay Oddball.

 

[sharkey]

You heard about the constipated mathematician, who worked his problems out with a pencil?

 

[ArcadiaGP]

You heard about the constipated mathematician, who worked his problems out with a pencil?

 

[OurDee]

[video=youtube;ceS_jkKjIgo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo[/video]

 

[actaeon277]

A wild-eyed (and quite ugly) woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, DC waiving an un-holstered pistol and yelled out, “I have a .45 caliber, Colt 1911, with a seven round magazine, plus one in the chamber. I want to know who's been sleeping with my husband?” ...
A female voice from the back of the room called out,

“You're gonna need more ammo Hillary!”

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Ericpwp]

A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?”


“Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman.


The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”.


As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.
A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing. Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.


Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.


Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.


Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.


The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.


“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”


“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Dentoro]

Hasbro!

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

Hasbro!

 

[ArcadiaGP]

What do you call a Communist sniper



















a marxman.

 

[spencer rifle]

For my 3,000th post, my favorite joke:

Why does the new Italian Navy have glass-bottom boats?



So they can see the old Italian Navy.

 

[actaeon277]