INGO: Joke of the day page

[GREEN607]

Ok. An America's Dumbest Criminals scenario.....

Bad guy pulls up to the drive-up at the local bank. Puts his green, zippered bank bag in the little carrier, and sends it inside.

The bank teller greets him, her saying, "Good morning! How are you today?" No reply from the BG. So she smiles, pulls the bag out of the carrier and unzips it. She then says to the guy, "Sir, there's nothing in here."

Bad guy replies, "That's right. This is a robbery. Fill the bag with cash, or I will kill all of your customers." And shows her he has a hand gun.

Then he points the gun at his temple, and says, "Starting with this guy."

 

[Bill of Rights]

Ok. An America's Dumbest Criminals scenario.....

Bad guy pulls up to the drive-up at the local bank. Puts his green, zippered bank bag in the little carrier, and sends it inside.

The bank teller greets him, her saying, "Good morning! How are you today?" No reply from the BG. So she smiles, pulls the bag out of the carrier and unzips it. She then says to the guy, "Sir, there's nothing in here."

Bad guy replies, "That's right. This is a robbery. Fill the bag with cash, or I will kill all of your customers." And shows her he has a hand gun.

Then he points the gun at his temple, and says, "Starting with this guy."

Pardon the pun, but... shades of Blazing Saddles....

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Bigtanker]

Everyone knows Albert Einstein was a genius.


But few know his brother Frank was a monster.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[ArcadiaGP]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

 

[Bigtanker]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Correct

 

[hoosierdoc]

This is better as a word riddle, but..

forward it's really heavy, backward's it's not. What is it?

 

[Rookie]

Not

 

[sharkey]

What have I got in my pocket?

 

[actaeon277]

A ring.

 

[spencer rifle]

HANDSES!

 

[rhino]

What don't I have in my pockets?

 

[Bigtanker]

What don't I have in my pockets?

The answer sure ISN'T band-aids!

 

[ArcadiaGP]

Today I heard a joke about Oedipus and Midas.

It was mother****ing gold.

 

[Bigtanker]

Today I heard a joke about Oedipus and Midas.

It was mother****ing gold.

Brilliant

 

[actaeon277]

An Army Ranger was on leave in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting "The heck with your high prices, man, I'll go and kill my own!"
The shopkeeper replied, "By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same.”
So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with ...spears, standing still in the water. "They must be the two Marines," he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed "Dang! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"

 

[actaeon277]

How do you clean a Reaver's spear?

Run it through the Wash.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

How do you clean a Reaver's spear?

Run it through the Wash.

 

[actaeon277]