Anyone have this much trouble

[LionWeight]

I was a pain in the butt for my parents growing up. Never considered threatening my dad though (he taught hand to hand combat in the marines). You do need to make sure there is a line that can't be crossed and never bend from that. If it requires involving the police, counseling, ministers or whatever you need to do that. I applaud your courage for bringing this here and opening up what has to be a very uncomfortable issue. I wish you luck and will keep you and yours in my prayers.

 

[beararms1776]

Good luck and I hope things get better.

It would but it takes cooperation of both parties which will never happen because it hasn't for the last several years. It's to inconveinant. There is no negotiating any sort of arangement for babysitting. Any mention of it and the keyword "custodial" or irresponsible is brought up. Just because one person is custodial, doesn't make the other exempt from assisting in helping out. Seems the only assistance you can get, is trouble making and it's for the childs best interest and to make the custodials life difficult. Same principal as people who physically hurt their kids, this bs is being done but just methodically in a different way of harm to the child and custody parent.
"Custodial" always seems to be the keyword for what most think, is exemption.
If it were a man carrying on like this, he'd be thrown in prison.

 

[AZ Hunter]

Well I work with these types of youth every day man. PM and we can discuss it. Not sure of services and such in the IN area as ive been away so long but i'll sure help ya out.

Couple things from my point of view. One, you should not be a victim in your own home. Second, you physically assaulting him (as many others have mentioned) will only land you in jail. (Especially since his mother is such an enabling parent). Third, call the police. Start having it docemented of the DV within your home. When or if this ends up back before a Judge, or as you posted again about CPS, you want his behavior documented.

When they get to be that age and have such extreme disrespect, physically hitting, "putting their head through the drywall", and other such extreme measures will most likely push them further away. Jobcorps is a good idea though I believe he may be too young at 15. Military schools or residential treatment facilities centered around conduct disorders are good ideas too, though they will be costly. Someone mentioned earlier about taking everything away and I agree with that.

I think getting Juvenile Court involved based off of the delinquent offense is good. They will have ideas about programs in your area and "could" (not likely unless lengthy arrest history) put him in Detention for a period of time. That doesn't always work but there are some kids that it works with.

Let me know,

 

[j706]

with their teenagers?
I invest 90% of my check to keep up the bills and food and then, they steel your stuff to pay for their bad habbits and sit around on the couch saying f*** you, call you a piece of s***, a paranoid piece of s*** (he gets that from his other side of family).
I overlocked my bedroom door and he's now trying to break in there to steal stuff.
I work at night and the job that forced the alternative to go to nights or don't work, will not move me to days to have some control in this situation.
Anyway, I call the mother to assist with babysitting and to no surprise, I get the same ole your irresponsible, I'm taking you to court, I'm making a phone call, your a paranoid skitzo worthless bast*** comments that are spewing from the pit of h***.
Anyone have recommendations? Besides giving up my job to get him out.

I can promise you one thing, if one of my kids ever told me f-- you to me or my wife I will be going to jail because I will make them wish they had not been born. I don't think I ever need worry because they know it would happen. Sorry just the way it is.

 

[beararms1776]

I can promise you one thing, if one of my kids ever told me f-- you to me or my wife I will be going to jail because I will make them wish they had not been born. I don't think I ever need worry because they know it would happen. Sorry just the way it is.

Yeah, I'm looking into some help for mine. I can say one thing, he was much better behaved just before and at the time I took him to the range to shoot. He really enjoyed it and wanted to go back. It was a few weeks after that, man o man, he just decided to be a real pita and refuse to help with anything.
It's not the firearm, I know that for certain. He just decided he's going to help make life a pita. He's picking the attitude up from somewhere. I have a good idea where.
Needless to say, when I get my firearm back, he will never, ever, take a range trip with me again.

 

[ATOMonkey]

He didn't get this way overnight, and he's not going to turn around overnight.

Without enabling him, the best thing you can do is to love him, and show that you care about him. If he still wants to be a jerk, that's his problem. You have less than 3 more years with him, if that.

At this stage in life, he's going to be learning things through trial and error. No amount of threats, lectures, or punishment will change that. Not saying that you don't do those things, just that they aren't going to make a huge impact.

Show him that you LOVE him through your actions. Hug him, pray with him, talk with him, listen to him. Take him someplace fun. Take him someplace that isn't fun, where he gets to see how the truly less fortunate live. Volunteer at a soup kitchen with him this Thanksgiving. Find a habitat for humanity project and volunteer. Hell, just go out and pick up trash on the side of a road or in a park. Serve your community.

Most of all though, you have to LEAD him. Telling him what to do is not leading. Doing what you want him to do is leading. You may have to change your whole lifestyle. How much is it worth to you?

Find positive influences that you can use to mentor him. He needs someone who he can talk to without the fear or judgment or punishment. You are not that guy. Have him hang out with people who share your values who you trust.

I hope things work out for you and your son. God bless you.