Anyone have this much trouble

[beararms1776]

with their teenagers?
I invest 90% of my check to keep up the bills and food and then, they steel your stuff to pay for their bad habbits and sit around on the couch saying f*** you, call you a piece of s***, a paranoid piece of s*** (he gets that from his other side of family).
I overlocked my bedroom door and he's now trying to break in there to steal stuff.
I work at night and the job that forced the alternative to go to nights or don't work, will not move me to days to have some control in this situation.
Anyway, I call the mother to assist with babysitting and to no surprise, I get the same ole your irresponsible, I'm taking you to court, I'm making a phone call, your a paranoid skitzo worthless bast*** comments that are spewing from the pit of h***.
Anyone have recommendations? Besides giving up my job to get him out.

 

[theweakerbrother]

.

 

[SEIndSAM]

Wow, that sucks Beararms!!! I pray for peace in your family and guidance to make the right decisions. Hang in there, better days will come.

I have a friend who had one that he had to kick out. It was an adopted kid that was American Indian and he ended up going back to live with relatives on the reservation in Washington State, he went through hell for that boy and didn't even get a thanks for it.

 

[beararms1776]

Wow, that sucks Beararms!!! I pray for peace in your family and guidance to make the right decisions. Hang in there, better days will come.

I have a friend who had one that he had to kick out. It was an adopted kid that was American Indian and he ended up going back to live with relatives on the reservation in Washington State, he went through hell for that boy and didn't even get a thanks for it.

I would consider the amancipation process or put him up for adoption to his mother and ex. I was curious if anyone else went through the process and what all is involved.

 

[SEIndSAM]

I would consider the amancipation process or put him up for adoption to his mother and ex. I was curious if anyone else went through the process and what all is involved.

Depends on the age. I know this boy I'm referring to was 16 and this took place in PA.

 

[VaGriller]

Hire another teenager to beat some sense into him.

 

[beararms1776]

Depends on the age. I know this boy I'm referring to was 16 and this took place in PA.

He's 15. I'm looking into job corp tomorrow.

 

[Bert]

call you a piece of s***, a paranoid piece of s*** (he gets that from his family]


aren't you his family?

 

[beararms1776]

call you a piece of s***, a paranoid piece of s*** (he gets that from his family]


aren't you his family?

His other side. I made the correction.

 

[beararms1776]

Hire another teenager to beat some sense into him.

I couldn't do that. As we chat though, he made some verbal threats of punching me.

 

[Hoosierdood]

He's 15. I'm looking into job corp tomorrow.

15 still isn't too old for the belt. Not necessarily trying to tell you how to parent, but you asked for advice. If my kid EVER called me a piece of **** or **** you, he would be laid out on the floor. I WILL be respected in my house. If he doesn't want to respect you, he can live somewhere else.

You could take all his electronics, games, whatever he values, and just give him a bed in a room with no door. If he wants more than that he can get it himself. Another option is when he takes something of yours, you take something of his. When he finds his X-box 360 at the pawn shop, he may just decide to respect you.



ETA - Just to clarify, I see your son's basic problem being one of a lack of respect. You need to figure out how to make him respect you. He may not agree with you, he may not even like you, but he needs to respect you as his father. He feels entitled to a roof over his head and all his little nasty habits as you called them. So take them away. Give him the BASIC care that you are obligated to give. As he learns to respect you, reward him with more perks/responsibility.

 

[Bert]

a sock filled with sand hurts like hell and leaves no marks . I threatened to send mine to military school . He went to West Point . They do grow up and turn out alright . Just takes a firm stance .

 

[hammer24]

1. I can't imagine my son ever feeling "safe" enough to pull that with me, but if he did it would be his a**! AND HE KNOWS IT!
2. Being 15 I'd definately let him know who the "big dog" of the house is, (apparently he thinks he is,) and a physical threat from him will be met with a physical PROMISE from me! and he needs to know that the promise WILL BE MET! I'm talking head sized holes in the drywall, and walking funny for a week!

I'm sure there is a horrendous back story for this situation to have risen. You need to understand that YOU ARE IN CHARGE! Things aren't going to get better unless you start doing something different. It's hard to undo what's been done and the relationship you've developed between each other, (lack of respect) but somethings gotta give. That's no way to live, man! Sounds like the kid needs professional help, and if that doesn't work the justice sysem will be snatching him up shortly. This type of behavior at 15 is a bad sign of things to come for the kid unless things change NOW! I feel sorry for your situation and wish you the best.

 

[Benny]

I couldn't do that. As we chat though, he made some verbal threats of punching me.

Tell him to get off of the couch and do it already. You aren't a small guy, so show him who's boss.

Sorry about your situation; that really sucks.

 

[Black_Wolf]

Military school or get the police involved and have him sent to juvie.

Family went thru this crap with my niece to the point she was booted out of everyones house and not allowed anywhere near mine.

I am the proud uncle of a lying, stealing herion head and she can rot in hell for all I care.

Get him out before he has the bright idea to murder you for drug fix.

Good luck and I support your actions 100% regardless of extremes.

Wild animals need dealt with by whips and chains.

 

[Benny]

Military school

Hell yes! He'll hate you for it now, but thank you later in life for keeping him out of prison, which he will inevitably land if he keeps up what he's doing.

 

[H.T.]

I can recall being 16 and thinking I owned the house your basic teenage bs.
Problem is I forgot to ask my dad what he thought. My dad was in the Navy he got out
in 69 started driving Semi trucks. Needless to say, my thoughts of doing what I wanted
when I wanted ended right quik and in a hurry, It took me a couple minutes to get
up off the floor.

 

[sgreen3]

Belive it or not OP I have herd of this a few times when I was teaching school. The teens of today have NO RESPECT for any one other than the idiots they see on tv. One of the things Iv herd when I had confrence with parents and LEO. Call the COPS on him!!! Plain and simple he threatend you. Put a stop to it as soon as you can. LEO recomened this to parents a number of times, granted they arnt going to do much to them, but it may scare the s&^% out of him enough to know you arnt playin no more. You pay for the house and his life, you make the rules. Again I know its easy to talk big when I or others arent going through this, but thats how Ive herd of other parents dealing with this situation. Hope this helps, sorry your having to go through this

 

[littletommy]

My 17 year old pulled this crap this past summer. Got all puffed up and mouthy. He got slammed hard on the patio, and I'm sure he wanted to beat my ass at the time, but a half hour later he was apologizing for being a jerk. He hasn't given me any problem since, and is really a joy to be around.

My youngest boy treats his mom, my ex, the same way you are being treated. He is a good kid, loves fishing, shooting, working on cars, and doesn't give me or my wife, his step mom, any problems, and is for the most part as respectful as a 13 year old can be. He just has no respect for his mother, and the complaints he brings to me about her I know to be 100% true. I'm torn between making him act decent towards his mom, and completely identifying with what he says about her. It sucks, and is not something I figured I'd ever have to deal with in my life.

I'm sorry for what you are dealing with man, and the old saying "this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you" probably should apply here. A good old fashioned ass beating might be your only way out.

 

[printcraft]

Wow.

Down side for me would be having to buy my kid a new wardrobe.
When he woke up all his clothes would be out of style.

I'm serious.

You need to get him squared away in a hurry.
Your choice there, but I would not be threatened by my kid.
If you tell him knock the **** off of else. His type will probably
take the pansy way of threatening you again...
"Hit me old man.... I call the cops."
To which the appropriate response would be....
"OK, go for it, but if you do I'm going to make it worth my while to go to jail."

Yes, you can sign him over to the state.