Why do women ask impossible questions?

[hornadylnl]

All of her shoes hurt her feet. Apparently, that's the point of fancy lady shoes.

Comfy shoes are always ugly and only worn in the most dire of circumstance.

That thought process is born in them. My daughter was about 5 and she had one of those cheapo play rings. She was complaining about it hurting her finder so I told her to take it off. She said "But I like it."

 

[mmills50]

No....you really don't.

The ask because they can.....we answer because we should.
Happy wife......Happy life.

When my wife is angry at me, she storms into the bedroom slams the door. I get to play video games, instead of watching "charmed" on netflix, or hearing her complain how I never spend time with her, or I'm "always on that damned phone"

Ahhh. Silence....

 

[mainjet]

I believe it was Bill Cosby who said this,

"Women don't want to hear what you think, they want to hear what they think in a deeper voice."

That is awesome!

 

[churchmouse]

That is awesome!

I must be blessed. My wife is a typical female but she does not storm around slamming doors or get vindictive when things do not go her way. I have learned the signs (3rd marriage) and avoid letting things get out of control. You notice I said "I avoid"...............No one is perfect.

 

[Rocket57]

My wife is so illogical she could make Spock cry.

 

[hornadylnl]

understood

a couple weeks ago we were taking a tire to be patched.

my wife ask me "how long does patching a tire take?"

i said "10-15 minutes"

she replied "no it doesn't"

i reply "so basically you are saying you have no clue the answer, but you know im wrong"

I've got a good tire story about my wife. She called me to tell me she had a flat tire and to come help. She was parked literally within a hundred feet of a tire store that was open.

 

[stephen87]

My favorite was just the other day. We were going to the Ice game and she decided she wanted at wear a short sleeve shirt with a short sleeve open front shirt that is shorter in the back than the front. So she puts it on under a zip up hoodie that covered the back but not the front. There lies the trap, "what do you think?" I answered "well why not just lose the under shirt or the hoodie?" Because it's "cute," whatever the hell that is. How could I be so dense? She proceeds to try on no less than 6 shirts, for a damn hockey game. Finally decides on the first combination and says "I think I'll wear this." Never respond with my response unless you like silence or arguing...



"Why ask my opinion if it doesn't even matter?" Luckily for me her response was "Okay so I'll just lose the under shirt."

 

[doglb]

I would answer this...however she is sitting right next to me!!!

 

[Redskinsfan]

I believe it was Bill Cosby who said this,

"Women don't want to hear what you think, they want to hear what they think in a deeper voice."

That was Jeff Foxworthy that said that.

Terry

 

[Bounty Hunter]

Exactly, just pick one, she likes both, and your input doesn't really matter anyway.

She likes them both or she would not have them on!!

What she really wants to know is: Which pair will all the other women like??


What I like best is: Just because she has seen one episode of Bob Villa, she thinks I should be able to remodel the bathroom in twenty minutes also!!

 

[lovemywoods]

The good Lord did give us husbands one helpful trick.

You know those times when you wife is talking in your direction, but you're really not listening, only pretending to?

Most men have been blessed with this 10 second memory tape delay in their brains. Your wife stops suddenly and says "Are you listening to me?!"

And the recording kicks in and you can regurgitate what she just said! That stops any additional complaining as she eyes you suspiciously and walks away!

That's saved my bacon many times!

 

[JetGirl]

"Are you listening to me?!"

And the recording kicks in and you can regurgitate what she just said!

I learned of this trick right around year 15. Nearly another 10 later, I've perfected a way to break the "tape" before asking.
And no, I'm not telling.

 

[strahd71]

i've been married twice, the first one i learned, the second one i trained from the get go.................. "honey does this dress me look fat?" its not the dress dear, ur fat............ no more questions

jake

 

[Bounty Hunter]

I learned of this trick right around year 15. Nearly another 10 later, I've perfected a way to break the "tape" before asking.
And no, I'm not telling.

I knew it....it begins early!!

Enlighten please......

 

[JetGirl]

Not a chance.

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

A few of you have met my wife...

She's definitely not a stereotypical woman; she learned long ago that spending hours on hair & makeup are rather pointless. Plus, she's rather tom-boyish.

Anyhow, despite many of her decidedly non-Modern American Woman tendencies, question asking & answering may very well be typical.

Case in point last night: We were feeding our daughter...who proceeded to make herself a hot mess with the food. I excused myself to go get the camera to attempt a picture or two of above mentioned hot mess.

I walk back in with the camera in my hand.

Mrs. Indy_Guy_77: What are you doing?

Indy_Guy_77: uuuhhh....going to take a picture?

Mrs. Indy_Guy_77: *silently fuming because I didn't answer correctly according to the some unspoken implied question beneath the actual spoken words*

Indy_Guy_77: Why are you looking at me like that? I answered exactly what it is you asked?

I STILL don't understand how I'm supposed to answer an unasked question?

-J-

 

[Bounty Hunter]

 

[Scutter01]

The good Lord did give us husbands one helpful trick.

You know those times when you wife is talking in your direction, but you're really not listening, only pretending to?

Most men have been blessed with this 10 second memory tape delay in their brains. Your wife stops suddenly and says "Are you listening to me?!"

And the recording kicks in and you can regurgitate what she just said! That stops any additional complaining as she eyes you suspiciously and walks away!

That's why I always carry a Twix candy bar with me.

 

[Bounty Hunter]

I STILL don't understand how I'm supposed to answer an unasked question?

-J-

!!!!!!!! You are not supposed to ask that question!!


Now it is out there....just hanging there..... just waiting for the inevitable....BE AFRAID!!

Good Luck!!

 

[indiucky]

understood

a couple weeks ago we were taking a tire to be patched.

my wife ask me "how long does patching a tire take?"

i said "10-15 minutes"

she replied "no it doesn't"

i reply "so basically you are saying you have no clue the answer, but you know im wrong"

Welcome to my world. Except when I reply the way you did I only do it in my head. While it is in my head my Princess will say. "Don't say it. What? You know, that smart ass response you are thinking."