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Be sure to read this post! Beware of scammers. https://www.indianagunowners.com/threads/classifieds-new-online-payment-guidelines-rules-paypal-venmo-zelle-etc.511734/
INGO: Joke of the day page
- Thread starter FordMan08
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- ban mbills!
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halfmileharry
Grandmaster
Even at my age I'd prefer good bacon and bad women.
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".
One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!"
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!"
And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why we can't have anything nice.
AmmoManAaron
Master
If the bird of peace is the dove,
then what is the bird of true love?
The swallow.
then what is the bird of true love?
The swallow.
A gentleman staying at the Hilton leaves his room in the early evening and boards the elevator. He then says, "Ballroom please"
The lady in front of him scoots forward and apologizes, "I didn't know I was crowding you."
The lady in front of him scoots forward and apologizes, "I didn't know I was crowding you."
I guess ask and ye shall receive!!A man and a woman, each unknown to the other, board the same elevator on their way to work.
The man leans over and asks, "Can I smell your panties?"
Horrified, the woman replies forcefully, "NO!"
The man then says, "Oh, it must be your feet then."
The man leans over and asks, "Can I smell your panties?"
Horrified, the woman replies forcefully, "NO!"
The man then says, "Oh, it must be your feet then."
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over, farts and says... "Broccoli. 49 cents a pound!"
Farting on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Farting on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
An Amish man is in the city for the first time. He goes to the Empire State Building. He and his son see this bank of shiny doors that open and close with lights above them. As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the shiny doors. The lights go up, then they go back down and out walks a stunning blond!
The Amish man looks to his son and say, "Boy, go get your ma!"
The Amish man looks to his son and say, "Boy, go get your ma!"
