Attempted Suicide at BHN, this one was preventable!

[88GT]

No thanks. I'll continue to put responsibility on parents of children who you call evil.

There's only one problem with that: how do you explain it when one of those kids has siblings who are respectful and "normal?" If parents were the reason, all the kids would be the same way.

 

[wizard_of_ahs]

No thanks. I'll continue to put responsibility on parents of children who you call evil.

There's only one problem with that: how do you explain it when one of those kids has siblings who are respectful and "normal?" If parents were the reason, all the kids would be the same way.

Not true !!!

I speak from experience

You can do everything "right" and still have a "bad" kid

 

[Hookeye]

Kids who haven't been bullied also commit suicide.

 

[GBuck]

Kids who haven't been bullied also commit suicide.

Very astute observation, sir.

 

[Mr. Habib]

Kids who haven't been bullied also commit suicide.

It never fails. If a thread is active long enough, somebody will jump in and start using facts and logic. This is why we can't have nice things around here. I'll bet this we don't have a FAQ any more.

 

[GBuck]

It never fails. If a thread is active long enough, somebody will jump in and start using facts and logic. This is why we can't have nice things around here. I'll bet this we don't have a FAQ any more.

I'm sure you're trying to be funny, but I must tell you, you're not. No one here has said that Suicide only stems from bullies. In fact, I don't think anyone here has even hinted at it. So I guess my question is, do you actually have a point?

 

[hammer24]

Kids who haven't been bullied also commit suicide.

Okaaaaayyyy.......

 

[Mr. Habib]

I'm sure you're trying to be funny, but I must tell you, you're not. No one here has said that Suicide only stems from bullies. In fact, I don't think anyone here has even hinted at it. So I guess my question is, do you actually have a point?

Just my sarcastic way of saying that he was making a good and relevant point.

 

[Benny]

There's only one problem with that: how do you explain it when one of those kids has siblings who are respectful and "normal?" If parents were the reason, all the kids would be the same way.

Exactly!

I've seen this TONS of times and I know for a fact that the parents gave equal shares of affection and attention to each of the children.

 

[steveh_131]

Exactly!

I've seen this TONS of times and I know for a fact that the parents gave equal shares of affection and attention to each of the children.

It's remarkable just how little comfort this provides the parent of a struggling child.

I'll never be a perfect parent. Shoot, I make mistakes every day. I'm sure that when they are older, every time one of my my kids has a hardship in their life I'll look back on my mistakes and wonder if one of them is the reason for this hardship.

On that note, let's look at this whole topic from a constructive point of view. How can we keep our kids from following the path of either the bully or the victim?

 

[Benny]

 

[Harry2110]

My son is in Kindergarten, but he's seen some bullying this year...Not that that kind of bullying means a whole lot yet.

I've told him that if he sticks up for himself and gets in trouble at school, he will NOT be in trouble at home, which is all that matters to him.

When he is old enough, I'll tell him that if he physically defends himself from a bully and gets suspended from school, that suspension will be a vacation at home. I'll take the day off and we'll go have fun.

Moral of the story: Zero tolerance is BS and I will NOT have my son being scared of sticking up for himself.

the sad thing is in this county you have to do community service during your suspension from 7-3

 

[Benny]

the sad thing is in this county you have to do community service during your suspension from 7-3

While I think in a lot of cases community service is a good thing, it wouldn't be for that zero tolerance BS.

There is no such rule around here though.

 

[88GT]

Not true !!!

I speak from experience

You can do everything "right" and still have a "bad" kid

You do realize that my quote was meant to point out the fallacy of logic in the other quote that parents are the sole determining factor in how the kid turns out, right?

It's remarkable just how little comfort this provides the parent of a struggling child.

I don't think it was meant to be comforting. I brought up the original to highlight the absurdity of the claim that all behavior from children stems from the type of parenting received. It was a simple observation of cause and effect wherein the effect could not be logically tied to the cause.

On that note, let's look at this whole topic from a constructive point of view. How can we keep our kids from following the path of either the bully or the victim?

It's a question without an answer inasmuch as the more specific one tries to be the fewer families it will apply to. But here's my take on it:

True sociopathic children are practically immune to parental inputs. It's not about parenting. If you have faith, you pray for divine intervention. If not, you shrug your shoulders and deal with the recurring consequences as best you can until legally you are no longer responsible. Not that you turn your back on them, just that you no longer are legally bound to clean up the messes.

The other cases cannot be pigeon-holed into a one-size-fits-all solution, I'm afraid. I have my thoughts on possible solutions, but they (the solutions) are incomplete at best. Lots of factors to consider.

 

[sadclownwp]

You can't stop suicide. Either a person has the drive and determination to keep living like the billions that came before them or they don't. Either get busy living or get busy dying as it was said in Shawshank Redemption. I don't condone bullying, but I don't mourn the suicidal either.

 

[joslar15]

School administration and Bloomington PD haven't found evidence bullying played a part in this girl's death.

Investigators continue to investigate whether bullying played any role, said Capt. Joseph Qualters of the Bloomington Police Department.

“We’re still looking into it,” he said, “but to date we’ve not found anything to suggest that.”

Cover-up?

Principal discounts bullying as cause of girl's suicide | Indianapolis Star | indystar.com

 

[steveh_131]

I don't think it was meant to be comforting. I brought up the original to highlight the absurdity of the claim that all behavior from children stems from the type of parenting received. It was a simple observation of cause and effect wherein the effect could not be logically tied to the cause.

I wasn't implying that it was meant to be comforting or anything of that nature.

I was more thinking out loud about how I view parenting before and after I had kids. I would have thought that as a parent, you do the best you can and if your kids struggle then it's on them.

Now that I have kids, I realize that regardless of who is really to blame...I'll blame myself. Just an observation about the nature of parenting.

It's a question without an answer inasmuch as the more specific one tries to be the fewer families it will apply to. But here's my take on it:

True sociopathic children are practically immune to parental inputs. It's not about parenting. If you have faith, you pray for divine intervention. If not, you shrug your shoulders and deal with the recurring consequences as best you can until legally you are no longer responsible. Not that you turn your back on them, just that you no longer are legally bound to clean up the messes.

The other cases cannot be pigeon-holed into a one-size-fits-all solution, I'm afraid. I have my thoughts on possible solutions, but they (the solutions) are incomplete at best. Lots of factors to consider.

I struggle with this question. If you're a person of faith, how can you look at one person as more inherently evil than another?

 

[hornadylnl]

Are kids born inherently good or bad? Do they have to be taught to lie, cheat, and steal or do they figure that out on their own?

 

[EvilBlackGun]

There is only one Perfect One.

Only He can see in our hearts. But if all I see is a ****-flinging chimp, THAT will determine my action / reaction towards the chimp, and in defense of me and mine. First, take cover. I have "... sold my cloak and bought a sword", as His admonition was. This sword must have a use. I train for that, with many options. EBG

I wasn't implying that it was meant to be comforting or anything of that nature. <snip> If you're a person of faith, how can you look at one person as more inherently evil than another?

 

[ViperJock]

No thanks. I'll continue to put responsibility on parents of children who you call evil.

At what age do they be one responsible for their actions then? Bad parenting is a reason not an excuse. There is always a parent or video game or too much sugar to blame. That's why the country is like it is. People, teens and Tweens included have to take responsibility for themselves.