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25 year marriage in the toilet
- Thread starter Blown71X
- Start date
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Because he can't beat the woman.
Honestly I shouldnt tell him to beat the guy either....but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. Wishing him the best.......regardless.
Last edited:
remauto1187
Shooter
Exactly!
BLACK OPS MISSION! Doesnt have to be tomorrow, next month, next year....it can be WHENEVER! 
shootersix
Master
- Mar 10, 2009
- 4,530
- 113
Oh.....and tomorrow is my Birthday........Happy F%&#in birthday to me
i let my ex move back in to work things out, she moved back on saturday, and on sunday she said she still loved him, that was on my birthday!
remauto1187
Shooter
Sunday night you threw her out on her arse, right?
She is caught up in the fantasy still. What the other man/woman hasnt had a full taste of is taking care of cheating spouse EVERY DAY! Dealing with bills, issues, bad moods, etc. of the cheater unlike you had/have to. Most of these affairs that end up with the cheater moving in with the other man/woman end up imploding on themselves within weeks of REALITY which is the 2 finding out that it was all fun and dandy in the fantasy but when REALITY socks them in the face and they get to deal with each others nuances....its ends fast and usually very ugly too.Rick,
First, give yourself a decent birthday today. I know it's not "happy" but do something for yourself at least.
You sound like you are following the sensible advice of getting a lawyer. If you think you have a good lawyer, take their advice in terms of anything you should remove from the house. I'm sure it's a good idea to close and/or document accounts so that you aren't taken advantage of but I'm also pretty sure it's not a good idea to attempt to hide any joint property. Hopefully the lawyer has advised you on honest ways to protect your share of the assets. I've been told that judges don't always take kindly to someone who gives the appearance of trying to walk away with marital assets such as hiding cash or claiming they lost something.
To those who want to beat up "the other guy", totally understandable. All legal issues aside, it's a way of dealing with the hurt. The person who cheated on him though is the person that gave him a vow. I'm going to reiterate the benefit of counseling to help Rick move on from something he devoted 25 years to. I know people whose divorce has taken years, especially getting joint assets like homes completely settled. There is probably a roller coaster ahead.
Again, sorry. Keep your chin up. Better times are ahead.
First, give yourself a decent birthday today. I know it's not "happy" but do something for yourself at least.
You sound like you are following the sensible advice of getting a lawyer. If you think you have a good lawyer, take their advice in terms of anything you should remove from the house. I'm sure it's a good idea to close and/or document accounts so that you aren't taken advantage of but I'm also pretty sure it's not a good idea to attempt to hide any joint property. Hopefully the lawyer has advised you on honest ways to protect your share of the assets. I've been told that judges don't always take kindly to someone who gives the appearance of trying to walk away with marital assets such as hiding cash or claiming they lost something.
To those who want to beat up "the other guy", totally understandable. All legal issues aside, it's a way of dealing with the hurt. The person who cheated on him though is the person that gave him a vow. I'm going to reiterate the benefit of counseling to help Rick move on from something he devoted 25 years to. I know people whose divorce has taken years, especially getting joint assets like homes completely settled. There is probably a roller coaster ahead.
Again, sorry. Keep your chin up. Better times are ahead.
shootersix
Master
- Mar 10, 2009
- 4,530
- 113
No matter how horrible things may feel in your heart, life does indeed go on and it gets better. No matter how unfair the current moment may appear to be, it too shall pass. Karma does exists no matter how hard it is to sometimes believe in. You will get through this and you will know happiness again.
My X and I dated for two years and was married for 23. It was all officially over in July after a year and a half of legal torment. My marriage had been circling the drain for the last 5 years. Divorce was the right decision for us. I have no regrets.
Although I often struggle with doing everything around the house mostly by myself, I am so much happier now. I am sometimes frustrated with appliances (for the record Maytag and Motorola blow) but my soul is rejoicing in its freedom. I am sometimes overwhelmed with doing everything by myself but I have accepted that I can't always do everything so right now I do not have time for a manicured lawn and weedless flower gardens, maybe next year. Life will still go on if my house isn't spotless. Worry is not my friend so I avoid it. I do my best everyday and hope to accomplish more the next day. It's all I can do. I am at peace with the universe.
I won't lie to you, dating sucks. But I believe my x wasn't meant to be my happily ever after. I don't know if I will ever find my prince but I know I never will if I am not receptive to such possibilities.
Life goes on. My life is different now but it's a good life. I never thought I would be almost 50 and starting over again but here I am. I am happier than I have been in years. My bad dates will be material for a blog or comedy routine at a later date. Even a bad date can make me smile, so it's not a compete loss.
As far as coping with the injustices that have been thrust upon you, music helped me a lot. I discovered Linkin Park, Stabbing Westward, Three Days Grace, Skillet and Thousand Foot Krutch. They put into words the feelings that were trapped inside my head. Play it loud and sing it proud. Sometimes you just need to speak of the hurts to release their hold on you. Surround yourself with positive energy. Avoid negative people and situations.
Good luck. We're here for you if you need us.
PS On the bright side, at this weekend's 1500 I purchased a CZ Rami and on the way home I bought an antique rocking chair. There was no one to tell me I couldn't. Being single has advantages.
i think skillets "it's not me it's you" was about my ex wife!, i sing it at the top of my lungs when it comes on my ipod(and its in my top ten most played)
my first purchase was my first 1911, then my second sig, then....hell to many to count!, i've bought more guns in the last 4 years, than the 18 i was married!
my fiance even bought me a xd45! my x *****ed when i bought ammo, and when i got my part time job and used part of that money to build my ar you'd thought she cought me doing her sister!, i found a upper for a AWESOME price, and charged it...SHE WENT THRU THE ROOF!!!
OP dont try to be sneaky and sell your guns to a friend for a dollar and buy them back after the divorce, according to my lawer she's entitled to 1/2 the value of the stuff, not what you sell it for, but 1/2 of what its worth.
and now the really bad news, my fiance's ex husband quit his job and dosen't work, and his lawyer sued her for payment!, and had her wages garnished!, this happened early this year, and they divorced 5 years ago!
Well I am just about finished with a very nasty divorce. It took two lawyers for her and 4 for me. I can definitely recommend a very good lawyer.
Things to consider, not legal advice.
1) Everything is based on date of filing! I had proof in writing she planned date of filing plus many "unfair" financial transactions did not matter
2) Take everything you want if you move out. yes you can and should take all the legal documents titles etc... called "temporary possession" you can not sell or do anything with them after date of filing until the divorce is final unless by agreement
3) If you are filing, do not open any accounts until after date of filing
4) complete any financial transactions prior to date of filing
The most important thing you can do even if you are pissed (rightfully so) try to make the divorce as amicable as you can while protecting your assets
The only winners in divorce are the lawyers
Get used to the courts taking a ridiculous amount of time to decide trivial stuff
Things to consider, not legal advice.
1) Everything is based on date of filing! I had proof in writing she planned date of filing plus many "unfair" financial transactions did not matter
2) Take everything you want if you move out. yes you can and should take all the legal documents titles etc... called "temporary possession" you can not sell or do anything with them after date of filing until the divorce is final unless by agreement
3) If you are filing, do not open any accounts until after date of filing
4) complete any financial transactions prior to date of filing
The most important thing you can do even if you are pissed (rightfully so) try to make the divorce as amicable as you can while protecting your assets
The only winners in divorce are the lawyers
Get used to the courts taking a ridiculous amount of time to decide trivial stuff
Good post. Somebody's ex took most of the stuff from the house, after becoming threatening and driving her away. Even took stupid stuff, like the shower head. When stuff was appraised, he hid stuff and/or substituted cheaper items. Kinda funny when he had to return some of the big items, like the washer/dryer. Luckily, the spouse had snuck back in and took pictures of everything before he had a chance to hide it all.
Sorry to hear your marriage is ending. It may not be salvageable, only you know that, but at some point, please forgive and let go of the bitterness. Some of the posts in this thread demonstrate how retained bitterness can negatively affect you.
As for all the rest, get your legal advice from a lawyer. Don't do anything with your assets other than what your lawyer recommends. Ask all the questions you can think of, but do what the lawyer says is the right thing to do. "Self help" asset preservation can mean a rapid trip to the worst divorce you can imagine.
As for all the rest, get your legal advice from a lawyer. Don't do anything with your assets other than what your lawyer recommends. Ask all the questions you can think of, but do what the lawyer says is the right thing to do. "Self help" asset preservation can mean a rapid trip to the worst divorce you can imagine.
A picture is definitely worth a thousand words. My X tried to say that he left me almost everything and that was why he was entitled to everything he had taken. I did a picture comparison of the cherry picked assets he took and the crap he left me. He even took the garage heaters that were on the wall and hard wired in, the transformer to the outside pole light, the uninstalled third bay garage door opener and the pump to the fountain. He had to give it all back. His lawyer made him bring it to mediation and return it to me. This made me a believer in Karma.
Also since I was able to prove the assets he took existed and exceeded the assets he left me he had to split the equity from our other house to make things fair. We had initially agreed to all of it in the beginning. His greed and anger just prolonged the divorce and cost him lots more money. Since I fired my attorney my only additional expense was my half of the mediator.
Also since I was able to prove the assets he took existed and exceeded the assets he left me he had to split the equity from our other house to make things fair. We had initially agreed to all of it in the beginning. His greed and anger just prolonged the divorce and cost him lots more money. Since I fired my attorney my only additional expense was my half of the mediator.
Bounty Hunter
Expert
THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Things get ugly pretty fast!! That once sweet loving person you married, will turn on you like you were clubbing baby seals. Mine was all good until the cat was out of the bag. After that, I did not even know who this person was. She had not gone through with anything at that point, but was "confused". After eight years I made her mind up for her. Gave her my ring, packed the truck and left.
Not that it was easy, but unacceptable.
Talk to attorney
Move any money (half) or guns that you can. " You sold them"
The day after I left, I went to the bank to pull out a hundred dollars to get to work for the week, and all the money was friggin gone!!! When I went to get more of my stuff, she was wearing new diamond ear rings and traded the ones I bought her in on the newer bigger ones!! Then said she needed money for house!!
I went straight to bank and opened new account. Went to insurance company and got my own policy. Took her off life insurance and started paper work to get her off my health insurance.
Be pro active......Do it now!!!
GG65, you rawk on!
Nobody deserves any beating here. The guy's just taking what's offered. The wife is wrong to offer, but whatever her reason for offering it, there's some failure in her morality that caused it. Mine had an actual personality disorder, and spent a month in the psych ward because of it. That's when I started to understand. Before that, I would have killed the guy she cheated with, with my bare hands. Ripped his [bad word] face off. As many reprehensible things as I did, I managed to restrain myself. It was best in the end, as I'm still among the good people.
I'd still secure whatever I could of the assets before she knows what's hit her; as long as you're conscientious enough to do what the judge says, you can certainly trust yourself more than you can trust her. Cash out any investments, money in a new account under your name only, put physical items under the care of someone you can trust. Let her be the one to come home to an empty house, rather than you. Don't think you're being a hero by suffering. Show the judge you're reasonable, and unless it's some virulent feminazi, you should come off as the good guy. That could go a long way for you.
Nobody deserves any beating here. The guy's just taking what's offered. The wife is wrong to offer, but whatever her reason for offering it, there's some failure in her morality that caused it. Mine had an actual personality disorder, and spent a month in the psych ward because of it. That's when I started to understand. Before that, I would have killed the guy she cheated with, with my bare hands. Ripped his [bad word] face off. As many reprehensible things as I did, I managed to restrain myself. It was best in the end, as I'm still among the good people.
I'd still secure whatever I could of the assets before she knows what's hit her; as long as you're conscientious enough to do what the judge says, you can certainly trust yourself more than you can trust her. Cash out any investments, money in a new account under your name only, put physical items under the care of someone you can trust. Let her be the one to come home to an empty house, rather than you. Don't think you're being a hero by suffering. Show the judge you're reasonable, and unless it's some virulent feminazi, you should come off as the good guy. That could go a long way for you.
shibumiseeker
Grandmaster
Three of the most significant breakups in my life, and a few other majorly bad things have happened within a week of my birthday. I still get a little nervous around that time of year even though nothing bad has happened in a while.
Worst thing ever happened on my birthday was I got a year older. Now near it, three days after my birthday one year some jackwagons hijacked a couple of airplanes and crashed them into some buildings, but that wasn't anything to do with me.
My oldest son passed from Cancer on my "B" day in 02.
This is the 1st year since that I actually acknowledged that day for my birth.
Yeah, tough around that day for me as well.
My ex's anger prolonged the divorce and cost ME a lot more money. I ended up having to pay for a 7K mediation even though she ended up with exactly what we agreed to in the first place. She was pissed because she filed for divorce and I let her. She couldn't back out because she was always right. LOL
Man, I could not even begin to imagine. So sorry for your loss.
Lost my sister-in-law to cancer in '01, she had three little boys, all under the age of 6.
If I ever had to bury one of my children, I'm not sure how I'd go on.
