You Are Walking Through The Woods Tomorrow and...

[indytechnerd]

ok, I've found a small portion of a topo map. Using some orienteering skills, I determine whether the map is for this area or not. Since I haven't spent all evening running around in sting weed and tick infested thickets, I'm going to determine NEWS and mark it on the map. I have a small SAK in my pocket that has a pen. Once done, let's look at the map itself. Are there markings of any kind? Waypoints? possible trails? Is the bucket fridge marked?

 

[360]

Which one of you turdburglers stole my lighters?

I still have a yet-to-be-played card in my hand.

For now, I am going to watch the rest of you wander around dizzyingly, because the humor makes me forget I have contracted what seems to be like malaria. I'm counting on my over-active immune system to help me with that one.

 

[printcraft]

The land you are walking upon is Jack's land.
The bucket you've stumbled upon is the man trap devised by Jack.
Jack is a collector so to speak.

As you stumble around you notice something unusual,
a half buried bucket surrounded with rebar.
"Who would do that?!?, Must be something more that meets the eye to this." you say to yourself and go to investigate the bucket opening it.
The bucket has been coated in a toxin that makes you very thirsty.
All of the bottles in the bucket have been injected with a slow acting paralytic compound.
The other items in the bucket are to distract you, making the drinks seem far less dangerous.
Early stages of the effects of the compund will include nausea, dehydration, disorientation and feeling that bugs are crawling up your legs and hearing noises that are not there.

The pants in the stream bed belong to someone else, someone that did not make it back to the dead end gravel road where their truck used to be after drinking that cool ice tea.

Jack watches you from somewhere behind you, he's always behind you.
It's getting dark and you are getting cold and it's getting harder to move, you think a little nap is what you need to get yourself together.
"I'll feel better if I just rest a moment." you say to yourself as your eyes slowly close.

Jacks dog precious watches you from the rim of the pit.
You hear music coming from another room.
Your eyes grow dark again, there will be no squirrel soup for you tonight either.
Maybe some lotion on the skin but do you really want that?

YouTube - buffalo bill dance (goodbye horses cover)

 

[rmabrey]

 

[rmabrey]

 

[jclark]

I think this woods is inhabited by a gang of roaming azz goblins.
They poison you and make you their love slave.
The bucket is just a trick to keep the slow people puzzled, and gives a chance for the goblins to formulate a plan of action.


I'll stick with Dove hunting in a nice open field.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Luckly Im smart enough to know what sting weed looks like and stay away from it. If Im in a woods in Indiana I start walking south. With in 12 hours I will have crossed 3 McDonalds and 28 gas stations.

You've not established any direction but down by any logical and reliable means. So far this crew would have trouble walking down hill more than ten steps in a row. You are starving now and delirious from dehydration. McDonalds and gas stations are probably hallucinations.

 

[Jack Ryan]

I want to take a look at that map. The contour lines showed what looked like two narrow ravines running down to a stream. Could either of those be the ravine the spring is in? If so, we can get our bearings by matching the map to the terrain at hand.

You are standing over the bucket you found. You are looking at the hillside probably 10-20 steps away. Water is running barely out of a pile of rocks at the bottom of a steep hillside. You could walk up it holding on to saplings here and there. You can't see the top of the hill throught the trees from the bucket.

If you turn 180 from there you see head high briars, weeds, tall weeds with yellow blossom. Thistle weeds the small low rock bed you are standing in drys up quickly and runs down hill to a deeper even more dry rock bed. Walking down that leads to a deeper ditch with no running water in it. A 15 minute recon on this determines there to be no water running at all, no water up stream and only a muddy pool with green slime on top the other way.

You are back at the bucket, the only fresh water you know of and suffering sever dehydration.

 

[Jack Ryan]

ok, I've found a small portion of a topo map. Using some orienteering skills, I determine whether the map is for this area or not. Since I haven't spent all evening running around in sting weed and tick infested thickets, I'm going to determine NEWS and mark it on the map. I have a small SAK in my pocket that has a pen.

No ya don't. It's gone like the lighters. Ya don't get to come in later and avoid pitfalls or bring in new special equipment that's got nothing to do with squirrel hunting. If ya don't want one of the other multiple personalities of this lone maniac making decisions you have to deal with then ya need to speak up with an idea before they run through sting week like a house cat chasing Bambi.

Ya still itch like every one else in the woods sleeping on the ground all night. It just occurred to ya to take a look at the map I gave ya in post about 131.

Once done, let's look at the map itself. Are there markings of any kind? Waypoints? possible trails? Is the bucket fridge marked?

Yep, it's a piece of a standard topo map from the USGS I think. If something good don't get used for so dang long I forget you have then ya lost it so I don't have to go back hand holding and updating Jonny come lately's. People who come in late will have to just go back for their self and figure out where they are and what they have.

The bucket is not marked on the map. Yet. You can mark it on the map but you don't have any of that pencil baloney. You'll have to figure out how to use what you've got.

Special note, some one ealier mentioned a shot gun, but I've said a rifle all along. To establish this I suggested the possibility of 22 shorts since we are squirrel hunting and that was accepted when it wasn't challenged.

You weapon of choice for squirrel hunting is the same as the one I carried last time I walked this area. A Ward Western, bolt action 22 short, long, long rifle. Iron sights with a rear peap and single blade front. The hood is missing and thanks to one poster it's been stuck in his eye and has blood on the front sight now attracting gnats. It holds 30 rounds of 22 shorts when you left the house. You shot a few squirrels before you found the bucket and let them rot. That desearves worse than wasting 5 shots but I'll give it to ya. You used two more starting a fire and then wasted it letting it go out after toasting one lousy squirrel. Screwed around wasted a couple shooting at running fawns, one at a coyote. You got maybe 20 left at most.

I ain't yer momma, figure out the rest yer self or go hungry.

 

[Jack Ryan]

I have contracted what seems to be like malaria.

What makes ya think that? I don't remember any one getting sick at all yet. Some one puked a little, now I remember that. I'll have to reread it but I don't think any one has any bad yet. May be round worms at the worst. You wouldn't even notice that for a week or more. Most of all you guys would be dead of dehydration long before you ever got an itchy butt.

 

[Jack Ryan]

The land you are walking upon is Jack's land.
The bucket you've stumbled upon is the man trap devised by Jack.
Jack is a collector so to speak.

As you stumble around you notice something unusual,
a half buried bucket surrounded with rebar.
"Who would do that?!?, Must be something more that meets the eye to this." you say to yourself and go to investigate the bucket opening it.
The bucket has been coated in a toxin that makes you very thirsty.
All of the bottles in the bucket have been injected with a slow acting paralytic compound.
The other items in the bucket are to distract you, making the drinks seem far less dangerous.
Early stages of the effects of the compund will include nausea, dehydration, disorientation and feeling that bugs are crawling up your legs and hearing noises that are not there.

The pants in the stream bed belong to someone else, someone that did not make it back to the dead end gravel road where their truck used to be after drinking that cool ice tea.

Jack watches you from somewhere behind you, he's always behind you.
It's getting dark and you are getting cold and it's getting harder to move, you think a little nap is what you need to get yourself together.
"I'll feel better if I just rest a moment." you say to yourself as your eyes slowly close.

Jacks dog precious watches you from the rim of the pit.
You hear music coming from another room.
Your eyes grow dark again, there will be no squirrel soup for you tonight either.
Maybe some lotion on the skin but do you really want that?

YouTube - buffalo bill dance (goodbye horses cover)

For a gun tot'n bunch of SHTF bug out specialist ya'll really have an active imagination once yer alone and in the dark.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Good think'n. I never thought of scarfing something out of the pants.

You found a pocket knife. An old one. Must have been the guy's grandfather's. It has reddish kind of laminate on the handle, a little rusty in places but still sharp. Two blades, a clip and a spay. It's pretty cool for free. The pants are cotton. Nice leather belt and cast iron buckle.

The note is in a plastic zip lock bag. It's a small scrap of a map.

The note is in a plastic zip lock bag. It's a small scrap of a map.

 

[indyartisan]

Sorry Jack but I am going to have to drink a bottle of your tea and refill it with water from the bucket well and a drop of bleach and taking it with me. I am heading back down the to the dry creek bed and heading to the right (south). I would hang around in this hoosier paradise but these turkey ticks and fleas are trying to make a meal out of me. I guess no one else saw the Busse Combat knife that fell out of paddling mans discarded pants so I am taking that too.

 

[360]

I found a huge patch of marijuana!!!

 

[Jack Ryan]

Sorry Jack but I am going to have to drink a bottle of your tea and refill it with water from the bucket well and a drop of bleach and taking it with me. I am heading back down the to the dry creek bed and heading to the right (south). I would hang around in this hoosier paradise but these turkey ticks and fleas are trying to make a meal out of me. I guess no one else saw the Busse Combat knife that fell out of paddling mans discarded pants so I am taking that too.

When you finally looked in the bucket again the insulin was gone, tea was gone, bleach was gone, Evian water gone, only thing left was the opened tea bottle you refilled and dropped a little bleach in. You drank all that down straight away. Probably took the lighters and called it even for the other tea.

Nope, didn't see any Busse Combat knives. Still got yer little pocket knife though. Lucky to have that.

 

[Jack Ryan]

I found a huge patch of marijuana!!!

No time to get the muchies.

 

[indytechnerd]

Well, since it appears the story continues whether I'm reading or not, I'll catch up and try my hand again. I've marked the bucket. Small stick, some of the char from the fire that someone let go out. I've marked NEWS, since no one told me I couldn't. I have a bottle of water, that I drank. I'm going to use the spring and bottle to dump some cold water over the worst areas of itch to try and wash it off, knowing that it's going to be hot soon and that stinging nettles and sweat don't mix real well. Then, I'm going to refill it, but not drink it, yet.

Knowing that the big red number 10 in the upper left is readable when north is up on the map, I can see that heading down the ravine south-east (about 105-110º) will take me to a larger stream (probably the dry creek bed I walked to get here). Along the way, I'm gonna look for some witch hazel leaves to help the itching.

Let me know if I'm doing ok or got eaten by a grue.

 

[360]

No time to get the muchies.

It looks like someone is tending to this patch. I found a garden weasel, some rubber hose, several 5 gallon buckets, another Bic lighter, and two folding chairs. These chairs will be a welcome relief from sitting on the cold damp ground.

 

[CountryBoy19]

It looks like someone is tending to this patch. I found a garden weasel, some rubber hose, several 5 gallon buckets, another Bic lighter, and two folding chairs. These chairs will be a welcome relief from sitting on the cold damp ground.

Well I'd say you're SOL then. You just drank their tea and water and somehow managed to lose their insulin. They're watching you and they are not very happy...

 

[ATOMonkey]

How did I get into this woods?