WHAT WOULD YOU DO?????? HELP

[Rookie]

You're probably not going to like my input, but hey, you asked.

It sounds like she isn't as afraid of guns as much as you having a gun. You said yourself that you have anger issues and I can only imagine what pops into her head when she thinks about you having a gun.

Your son should be more important than your desire for a gun. You want both? It's going to take time and some growing up on your part before she will be able to trust you.

 

[exelh]

I'd bet my wife, i mean life, that she is a redhead.

 

[modelflyer2003]

You put your family first.

 

[malern28us]

Anger issues is pretty vague and I am assuming you left out details on purpose.
That being said, since she has threatened to take the child and move away if you buying a firearm, document the conversation. I would go to Walmart and buy a really nice spiral bound notepad. Document your conversation with her to the best of your abilities. Include the date, time and year. Don't document your feelings just the facts. Everytime the subject of a firearm purchase comes up, document what she says. You may need all of this information if she ever follows through with her threats.
Next, bring it up to find out why she gets upset when you discuss it. Put the actual purchase on hold until you find out why she gets upset. Knowing her thoughts will give you a better understanding of how to address the problem.
I have a feeling your anger issues may need to be discussed first and are the problem to begin with. While there are some crazy women, most aren't as completely irrational as you are making your girlfriend sound.
If it was my problem(anger issues), I would worry about getting my anger under control with either counseling or therapy. Purchasing a firearm may not be what you should put high on the priority list right now.

 

[ljadayton]

Lots of good advice here already. Do you know her reason for being afraid of guns? Is it really a fear of guns or a fear of YOU with a gun? If it's in general, that sounds like she needs time to get comfortable with the idea, maybe positive interactions with people who are pro gun. If it's you with a gun, that's tougher. You've got to address whatever is fueling this fear and do it without hurting your son in the process. Bottom line, TALK to her.

By 5 my son had his own gun that he was allowed to see anytime he asked. Guns aren't something to make a mystery, that just leads to accidents.

 

[techres]

As a father, your son comes first.
As a husband, you gf/wife comes first.
Neither of these is less important than a piece of metal.

Start with loving them and let them know it by your actions. Then get some help with the anger. If that is what she keys in on, then it can only be a good for you and them that you see someone to get some solutions that work.

In the meanwhile, leave it alone. You should never rock a boat that is unstable and leaking as it sounds your family is. Your first job is to make work what you have built by any means necessary and that includes hard work on you, by you.

Love them. Mean it. Get help.

And maybe in the future there will be a gun for you.

But if that day comes and you are all alone, then you have failed.

I will be praying for you, all 3 of you.

 

[spec4]

She threatened to do the worst thing she can do to you. I ask myself: where do you go from that? Will you ever be able to trust that she won't take off with your son? I have a friend who came home from work one day and his wife had taken their two sons and left town with an older guy. He didn't see his kids for months. I won't even get into his legal costs. The dark side of me would even consider taking my son and going where she can't reach me. This goes way beyond ferar of a gun IMO. Having said that, and not knowing the entire situation, perhaps a few counseling sessions would help. Still, she made a pretty brutal threat.

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

As a father, your son comes first.
As a husband, you gf/wife comes first.
Neither of these is less important than a piece of metal.

Start with loving them and let them know it by your actions. Then get some help with the anger. If that is what she keys in on, then it can only be a good for you and them that you see someone to get some solutions that work.

In the meanwhile, leave it alone. You should never rock a boat that is unstable and leaking as it sounds your family is. Your first job is to make work what you have built by any means necessary and that includes hard work on you, by you.

Love them. Mean it. Get help.

And maybe in the future there will be a gun for you.

But if that day comes and you are all alone, then you have failed.

I will be praying for you, all 3 of you.

As usual, I TOTALLY agree with what Techres is saying here. Get the other stuff handled first. THEN worry about the gun. Family first, work that out - then tackle the firearms.

 

[E5RANGER375]

what would I do? i wouldnt admit to anything on the internet because it could be used against you. like an anger problem.

just watch your 6. they are everywhere!

 

[LEaSH]

While your family unit is most important than everything else, a facet to this issue isn't about winning or losing what you're wanting.

If you don't clarify your reasoning, purpose, and decision to NOT get a firearm, she will know that with the threat to take your son away, she can get you to cave on ANYTHING.

 

[MinuteMan47]

Lot's of good advice so far.

 

[cbseniour]

If you want to keep you gf and your son then you don't want to buy a gun at least not right now.
Talk to her about getting some gun education. Try to get her to attend a shooting event. there is noting that changes attitudes like education.

 

[Mayday671]

Plenty of good advice man. I would like to say that out of all the forums Ive been on over the years on different sites, I was amazed by the responses here. I expected you to get grilled or for people to go off on a rant about your girlfriend. Im impressed with the common sense advice given on here and it shows midwesterners are what makes this country great. Good luck and I hope everything works out, who knows maybe you will improve on your ager management and maybe she will learn to love shooting. Believe me I have die hard liberal friends who have changed there minds after being called out and dared to go shooting, they enjoyed it and have even started shooting and there opinions on gun control has changed. They is hope for everyone. The easiest way to change someones mind is by education.

 

[S8MS-01904]

Hey, if you just need some plinking time to throw lead sometime, there are MANY good people on here that would open up to range time with you.

This would give you the chance to get it out of your system BEFORE the cost of gun ownership hits ya. lol

Really, with many local matches at MCF&G and ACC, striking up with a fellow INGO member might get you in a hobby that can transfer into a learning experence with your son. It's working for me.

As with the Girlfriend, take time to break the ice, my wife allows guns, but want NO part of them.

 

[indykid]

Don't think I read this yet, but if you do buy a firearm, and she moves to Florida and to keep you from seeing your son gets a restraining order against you, you lose your firearm!

Personally I think the two of you have issues as you noted, but if you get a firearm, you potentially lose everything. Think about it.

And yes counselling is not a bad idea although hard to do.

 

[S8MS-01904]

You might also do some prodding around with her friends [girl & girl's husband/friend] to get an idea of "who else" fought this battle and the outcome.

She just might see that it is a moot point when her friends have guns in the house without problems.

Just be sneaky about it at first, so she doesn't get any ideas......

 

[gcoop]

You say your son has toy guns. Do you teach him the safe practice skills with toy guns and show his mother that you and the boy can be responsible gun owners?

 

[littletommy]

I was married to an irrational, deceitful, manipulative woman for way too long. I can tell you, it will never get any better. I'd quietly consult an attorney about the custody and visitation issue and see what your rights are, and what you could possibly do to keep your son close to you. A woman who would threaten such a thing is no good. Get out, but have a solid plan before she gets wind of it. Crap like this really pisses me off, but I'll tell you, I've dealt with it first hand, and the court system doesn't always rule against the father. If she is as crazy and irrational as she sounds, she won't get much in court.

 

[dross]

The mother of your child doesn't trust you with a dangerous object. Huge warning sign. Pay attention to that, and set out to earn her trust.

Nothing is more important than your child, and your child growing up with two parents.

Why do people think that marriage is a larger commitment than raising a child? I don't get it.

Fix yourself, fix your relationship, worry about a gun later. My wife wasn't raised with guns, didn't understand it, didn't like it at first. The fact that SHE TRUSTED ME IMPLICITLY is what changed her attitude. If you don't have that trust, THAT IS JOB ONE. A firearm can wait.

Start thinking of your child first and foremost. Let that be your guide.

 

[Hooker]

Either she is totally irrational and controlling or she doesn't trust your judgement. Either way, if you want to protect your family, then don't lose it over having a gun. Keep your family unit intact or, at the very least, don't give your girlfriend the incentive she needs to start giving you trouble. Even if you fight her, it will take years, and in the end it won't be worth it.

If she has fears about your anger problems, then get help. This should not be a power play over who can win. There is a child involved and that is all that matters.