Today's You Can't Make This Sh*t Up News

[Mgderf]

Heard a report yesterday that the Biden administration is banning official travel to fossil fuel conferences.

 

[JCSR]

Heard a report yesterday that the Biden administration is banning official travel to fossil fuel conferences.

FJB

 

[TheGrumpyGuy]

This just in...Walmart is racist.

That right there is why I'd get fired my 1st day on the job as a cop.

I kept hoping he'd pull out his taser, stick it in her loud open mouth, and pull the ****ing trigger

 

[actaeon277]

Uh, I don't know if I'd have said, she got up, and didn't need the scooter.
She didn't stay up long.

 

[TheGrumpyGuy]

IMPD says monkey found after hours-long chase

Update (11:15 a.m. on Oct. 5) Officials with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department announced that Momo the monkey has been captured safely. “That was more than enough monkey busines…

fox59.com

 

[DoggyDaddy]

IMPD says monkey found after hours-long chase

Update (11:15 a.m. on Oct. 5) Officials with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department announced that Momo the monkey has been captured safely. “That was more than enough monkey busines…

fox59.com

I've always known the east side was a zoo, but...

 

[mom45]

How is it that this is the first time I have seen this thread. I have some catching up to do.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

IMPD says monkey found after hours-long chase

Update (11:15 a.m. on Oct. 5) Officials with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department announced that Momo the monkey has been captured safely. “That was more than enough monkey busines…

fox59.com

 

[AndreusMaximus]

This just in...Walmart is racist.

See, this is why I could never be a police officer.

Her: "Drag me the **** outta here!"

Me: "I'm not sure I have the physical strength required to do that, ma'am."

 

[KellyinAvon]

IMPD says monkey found after hours-long chase

Update (11:15 a.m. on Oct. 5) Officials with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department announced that Momo the monkey has been captured safely. “That was more than enough monkey busines…

fox59.com

Momo might need his own thread. Still on the loose! I heard earlier they couldn’t confirm people had been bitten… How the hell do you not confirm a monkey biting?

 

[printcraft]

Momo might need his own thread. Still on the loose! I heard earlier they couldn’t confirm people had been bitten… How the hell do you not confirm a monkey biting?

Don’t worry, the government already had the vaccine in this one too… sounds familiar…

 

[oze]

IMPD says monkey found after hours-long chase

Update (11:15 a.m. on Oct. 5) Officials with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department announced that Momo the monkey has been captured safely. “That was more than enough monkey busines…

fox59.com

FREE MOMO!!

 

[DoggyDaddy]

FREE MOMO!!

With the purchase of another Momo of equal or greater value.

 

[printcraft]

FREE MOMO!!

 

[Route 45]

 

[KMaC]

https://currently.att.yahoo.com/news/misunderstanding-passenger-passes-gas-las-192138984.html
Convicted felon with a gun (I know, that's unpossible) shoots fellow Vegas bus passenger for laughing at felon's farting.

 

[KellyinAvon]

Momo made national news. Honestly I'd rather see Momo stories than homicides, overdoses, and the ****-show that is the Indy mayor's race.

Momo the monkey safely returned to Indianapolis home after night on the town​

Indianapolis police launched a search for the monkey, who had escaped before​

Momo the monkey safely returned to Indianapolis home after night on the town

Momo the monkey managed to escape from her home in Indianapolis and led local police on a 24-hour search for the elusive primate.

www.foxnews.com

 

[TheGrumpyGuy]

Momo made national news. Honestly I'd rather see Momo stories than homicides, overdoses, and the ****-show that is the Indy mayor's race.

Momo the monkey safely returned to Indianapolis home after night on the town​

Indianapolis police launched a search for the monkey, who had escaped before​

Momo the monkey safely returned to Indianapolis home after night on the town

Momo the monkey managed to escape from her home in Indianapolis and led local police on a 24-hour search for the elusive primate.

www.foxnews.com

I wonder what that search and rescue effort cost the taxpayers... again

 

[KellyinAvon]

I wonder what that search and rescue effort cost the taxpayers... again

We should compare and contrast with the Beech Grove Python incident a few years back.

Dog? Cat? Flyers go up and social media is notified.

Pets that might bite your face off or swallow a child?

 

[Route 45]

I wonder what that search and rescue effort cost the taxpayers... again

Probably nothing beyond normal operating costs. Why would it cost any extra?