The Parental advice thread.

[ironjaw]

Yeah don't go giving your kids nicknames, especially not Cooter. I didn't know my real name until I was in school.

Don't allow your child to bathe with you, or watch you get dressed, or sleep in the same bed with you. My grandmother and sister did that with my nephew and it warped his fragile little mind.

T M I

 

[WillBrayJr]

T M I

What the heck does that mean?

They let him way past his toddler years. I can see if you have an infant and no one else is home to watch the little bugger. There's no good reason to let your child watch you bathe, use the restroom, or watch you get dressed. Definately not when they're like 8 years old.

 

[ironjaw]

What the heck does that mean?

They let him way past his toddler years. I can see if you have an infant and no one else is home to watch the little bugger. There's no good reason to let your child watch you bathe, use the restroom, or watch you get dressed. Definately not when they're like 8 years old.

Too Much Information

 

[WillBrayJr]

Too Much Information

Sorry, I was never any good with enternet lingo.

 

[Pami]

Just my opinion but "any grade below their ability was not acceptable" at our house.

This is much more realistic than "any grade below an A is not acceptable." This I can agree with.

Throw away your "parenting books".
The important stuff you learn along the way is never in a "How to" book.

Except [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Practical-Handbook-Dads/dp/0743251547/ref=pd_sim_b_1]this one[/ame]. Keep this one. Memorize. It does a body good.

 

[96firephoenix]

read this book: The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman

there is a chapter in there about how to learn how to show love to your children.

basically everyone has a diff't way they are programmed to show love, and if they are not shown love in this same manner, they don't feel loved.

 

[JetGirl]

Except this one. Keep this one. Memorize. It does a body good.

Let's revisit this in 16 or so years...

 

[lovemachine]

Not planning on having kids anytime soon. But I'll remember all this advice. I plan on raising my kids the Andy Griffith way. I love that show!

 

[Coach]

Know that young children are fast and expect anything. Even if you are right there watching them all the time.

Listen to what your kids are talking about when they are talking to other kids.

Don't try to be their friend until they are grown. You are a parent first, not their friend.

+1 Amen, common mistake. I see it all the time.

 

[Pami]

Let's revisit this in 16 or so years...

Well in 16 years I won't need it. It only covers years 0 through 1, and we just passed the 1 mile marker.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Not planning on having kids anytime soon. But I'll remember all this advice. I plan on raising my kids the Andy Griffith way. I love that show!

Make a new plan.

If I could change one thing it would be to have my kids 5 years sooner.

 

[lovemachine]

Make a new plan.

If I could change one thing it would be to have my kids 5 years sooner.

Why's that? I'm only 27 right now. And I'm trying to get debt free before we have kids.

 

[Pami]

Why's that? I'm only 27 right now. And I'm trying to get debt free before we have kids.

That won't happen. You'll always find some other reason why to put it off:
"Let's wait until we have a bigger house."
"Let's wait until we fence in the yard."
"Let's wait until we get better jobs."
"Let's wait until..."

Idiocracy was wise beyond its years.

 

[Coach]

It does not matter when you have kids as much as how you raise the kids.
Correct their mistakes and hold them accountable and teach them a work ethic.

 

[Boilers]

promote an environment of trust.
But have hidden CCTV cameras, GPS trackers, and keyloggers all installed.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Why's that? I'm only 27 right now. And I'm trying to get debt free before we have kids.

You are missing seeing your grandchildren graduate, may be even getting born. May be the very best part of having your own children is your grandchildren.

What's the point of "being here" if you don't pass on what you gain in knowledge and what ever to your "own"?

Die childless and the teeming hordes win. All they have to do is out live you, out produce you and out vote you and it won't matter if you are Albert Einstein, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and the terminator all combined. When you are gone, who is left will have your "ball" and play with it how they chose or how you've taught them. Who ever holds "the ball" wins. It's your choice who get's your "stuff". Your own or Obama's swarming hordes of followers.

You are missing out on opportunities to benefit your children and enjoy them while you are getting screwed by the lowlife down the street breeding like stray cats and popping out litter after litter for you to be taxed to support. While you try to save to pay your children's way in life you will get under cut at every opportunity while the dead beats kids go to IU on your tax subsidy you'll pay every dime for your kids to go to IVY Tech.

While you are working weekends trying to aford to do right your dead beat neighbors are enjoying their kids T-ball, games and aghast at your capability to handle over time and voting you out of your life, property, and income.

Have your kids and enjoy them, do the best you can and teach them right. You can get debt free and still have kids. May be quicker because nothing put's life in to context like their grinning face looking up at you. You won't be sorry. Your welcome, you'll thank me long before they graduate high school.

 

[gage]

Jack Ryan's advice +1

and as a former "latch key" kid without having been given any keys....my only suggestion is to supply your kid with a key. I still have phobias of being locked out of my home.

 

[jjlaughner]

I appreciate the timing of this thread.

First one coming in November!

 

[jd4320t]

Expose them to as many things as you can.

Take the time to explain things that happen that they may not understand.

Do whatever you can to make them laugh.

Don't answer questions with "I don't know" or "that's just the way it is".

Don't ever let them stop hugging you.

Don't forget to tell them you love them.

 

[HighStrung]

Respect your kids as they are learning the difficulities of dealing with new experiences and emotions.

Allow them to make "some" choices for themselves

Never allow your children to think they rule the house/situation/family decisions

"Do as I say, not as I do" is the biggest line of BS in the world. Set the standard that you want your kids to follow by being that example.

Choose you battles

Always, always, always, remind them that you love them (especially after correcting them) and tell them that you're proud of them when they've done something right/good.

Though the children come first, it's still okay to take a little time for yourself (actually it's needed).

Not everyone wins every time, and kids need to know this. Though I don't think there is anything wrong with not winning, patting their little butts and making them feel all warm and cuddley by teaching them that "everyone is a winner because we all played" isn't healthy either. Winning isn't everything, but I believe that if they want to win, try harder next time. Maybe that is just me.

Consistence, allowing them to do something today, then not tomorrow, then it's okay the next time will only bring confusion to everyone life.

Be a parent first, friendship will come after they have learned to respect you as a parent/person because you set good examples.

It's okay to be frustrated, even angry with the actions of your kids. I don't believe it's okay to enforce punishment during these periods however. Step away if needed, get a grip on your own emotions, then address the situation. If you spank, don't spank when your angry.

Be firm but not overbearing, kids need boundries but they need some freedoms just as we do.

A little "work" never killed me as a child and it won't kill them either.

Allow them to help and let them be a part of what you're doing. Fixing dinner, working on the sweeper, cleaning the house.

Allow them to be their own person. Don't try to force them to live the life that you wanted for yourself. Even when their interests don't always reflect your own, encourage them in the activities that they want.

Yelling is not needed unless their safety is in danger.