The Official Status Update Thread #226 Tis the Season

[GregD]

DD, how do they behave for their Dad ?

 

[mom45]

rewarding little things allows them to feel better about themselves. They only get the reward if they do things without being reminded. They get assigned tasks...might have to use pictures or stickers since they can't read, but they do the task without being yelled at to do it, and they get recognition. Rewards can also be taken away as punishment. You have to be consistent and they won't fully understand the system until they get a taste of those rewards. This system worked very well with my son. He thrived on negative attention. I ignored most of his negative behaviors and acknowledged the good. You may have to give gentle reminders at first. These kids are really at a disadvantage here. You are frustrated because you expect normal behavior. They don't know what normal is.

 

[target64]

And their tails are weapons. We had our share of welts.

We had one that would clear a table with his tail when he got excited. He was also afraid of thunder and tried to hide under a twin bed.

 

[target64]

Well my floor manager left sick yesterday, and is COVID positive. Will be a interesting couple of weeks.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

DD, how do they behave for their Dad ?

He still wants to see them, so I'm assuming it's okay, but he's planning on moving to California next year and Susan is really against him taking them out there, so now we're back to square one. I do think he might be taking them this weekend. I hope so.

Her sister said they behaved at her house when they stayed the night one time too, but she did see Bryson "bullying" Brydon. But they tend to be shy in strange environments.

 

[mom45]

Well my floor manager left sick yesterday, and is COVID positive. Will be a interesting couple of weeks.

I am a little scared to go in tomorrow and see just what is on my desk.

 

[target64]

That is why I went to work every day , I could not deal with the fall out if I had not

 

[mom45]

That is why I went to work every day , I could not deal with the fall out if I had not

I couldn't have gone even of I wanted to. I will have to fix most of the things that were done in my absence. I would have preferred that they just left it all for me, but based on texts I was getting, that is not the case.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

rewarding little things allows them to feel better about themselves. They only get the reward of they do things without being reminded. They get assigned tasks...might have to use pictures or stickers since they can't read, but they do the task without being yelled at to do it, and they get recognition. Rewards can also be taken away as punishment. You have to be consistent and they won't fully understand the system until they get a taste of those rewards. This system worked very well with son. He thrived on negative attention. I ignored most of his negative behaviors and acknowledged the good. You may have to give gentle reminders at first. These kids are really at a disadvantage hear. You are frustrated because you expect normal behavior. They don't know what normal is.

I just read this to Susan. Thank you mom! She liked it, and we had a nice little discussion about how awesome folks, both "met" and "unmet" are.

 

[wingrider1800]

I've had talks with them, as has Susan, telling them that we would LOVE to be able to do fun things with them, but that we were NOT going to reward bad behavior. They apparently value being able to do the bad behavior more than they value doing fun things.

Grandpa vs 4yo twins. Sorry my friend cause that's not even close to an even match. You better eat lots of spinach.

 

[mom45]

I just read this to Susan. Thank you mom! She liked it, and we had a nice little discussion about how awesome folks, both "met" and "unmet" are.

This was something that was proposed to us in family counseling. My son was acting out and work offered mental health services as a benefit. We only went to a few sessions. But got some great advice on things to try that got us on track. I highly recommend the 1 2 3 Magic books by Thomas Phelan. Age appropriate techniques. Your boys are young enough that I think many of the techniques would be easy enough to implement. Thriftbooks.com had some used copies for a few dollars.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

That is why I went to work every day , I could not deal with the fall out if I had not

I felt bad not being able to finish this testing I was trying to get done (since Monday morning) today. Had to pass it off to my team lead.

She knows everything I've been encountering though (and she's freakishly smart about all things concerning our jobs).

I hate this "Agile" methodology we've gone to now. A lot of things get missed because you have people working together that don't know what they don't know.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Grandpa vs 4yo twins. Sorry my friend cause that's not even close to an even match. You better eat lots of spinach.

Right?? I'm always circling the wagons and hoping the Indians run out of arrows. So far they haven't!

 

[rkwhyte2]

What Mom said about family counseling may be an avenue you may want to consider. Having someone on the outside can often times be very helpful in these situations.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

This was something that was proposed to us in family counseling. My son was acting out and work offered mental health services as a benefit. We only went to a few sessions. But got some great advice on things to try that got us on track. I highly recommend the 1 2 3 Magic books by Thomas Phelan. Age appropriate techniques. Your boys are young enough that I think many of the techniques would be easy enough to implement. Thriftbooks.com had some used copies for a few dollars.

Read this to Susan too, and bookmarked the post. Thanks mom!

 

[churchmouse]

rewarding little things allows them to feel better about themselves. They only get the reward if they do things without being reminded. They get assigned tasks...might have to use pictures or stickers since they can't read, but they do the task without being yelled at to do it, and they get recognition. Rewards can also be taken away as punishment. You have to be consistent and they won't fully understand the system until they get a taste of those rewards. This system worked very well with my son. He thrived on negative attention. I ignored most of his negative behaviors and acknowledged the good. You may have to give gentle reminders at first. These kids are really at a disadvantage here. You are frustrated because you expect normal behavior. They don't know what normal is.

"WINNER"

 

[DoggyDaddy]

What Mom said about family counseling may be an avenue you may want to consider. Having someone on the outside can often times be very helpful in these situations.

That may come into play eventually. Until then, y'all are my counselors! To paraphrase the line from Gone With the Wind, "I don't know nothin' bout raisin' no babies!"

 

[mom45]

That may come into play eventually. Until then, y'all are my counselors! To paraphrase the line from Gone With the Wind, "I don't know nothin' bout raisin' no babies!"

You care about them. That is a very good start. Seriously, order that book. It is easy to read and it works.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Even Susan has said that I'm trying to raise them like my dad raised me. It worked on me, but I don't know why it doesn't work on them. That's my parental naivete kicking in. Not all kids are the same and they don't all respond to the same input. Am I getting close?

 

[rkwhyte2]

These boys are 4 years old and they got a messed up start in life. It will take a lot of time to overcome that.