The Official Status Update Thread #226 Tis the Season

[DoggyDaddy]

Evenin' Jay! I miss General Tso's. Really good General Tso's with the whole red chili peppers in it.

 

[GregD]

Hi klausm & DD & Jaybird

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Howdy Greg!

 

[mom45]

Speaking of the boys... frustration levels have been high all day again for both of us. Bryson (the real problem child) slammed a door on Susan's hand and broke the skin. I asked her if she blistered his butt, but she didn't. I would have if I'd have seen it. I get that kids misbehave sometimes, I really do, but all day, every day? I don't think that's normal.

Are they just trying to get attention?

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Are they just trying to get attention?

They get plenty of attention. They just seem to take delight in doing the opposite of what we tell them to do.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

I've had talks with them, as has Susan, telling them that we would LOVE to be able to do fun things with them, but that we were NOT going to reward bad behavior. They apparently value being able to do the bad behavior more than they value doing fun things.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Our youngest granddaughter spoiled us. She was always so eager to please, polite, kept her things picked up when she wasn't using them, etc., even when she was like 2 years old. I guess I made the mistake in thinking that most kids were like that.

 

[Jaybird1980]

I've had talks with them, as has Susan, telling them that we would LOVE to be able to do fun things with them, but that we were NOT going to reward bad behavior. They apparently value being able to do the bad behavior more than they value doing fun things.

Then they need to fear the punishment more.

 

[mom45]

I've had talks with them, as has Susan, telling them that we would LOVE to be able to do fun things with them, but that we were NOT going to reward bad behavior. They apparently value being able to do the bad behavior more than they value doing fun things.

Do they know what fun things are? Maybe a reward program. Small rewards for small tasks or improvements. Something tangible they can see....a chart, a coin, etc. When they have earned enough small rewards, they can "cash them in" on a bigger prize. Again a chart they can see that explains how to earn and what rewards are options. Could be a toy or activity they want. Have them tell you what they want and use those things as goals. They could earn for making their bed, brushing their teeth, helping in the kitchen, sweeping a floor, watering the cat, etc.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Then they need to fear the punishment more.

So far, I have limited my punishment to "angry grandpa voice", which does work temporarily like for getting them to pick up their toys and put them away, and Susan has swatted one of them on the butt for jumping on the beds (both of their twin beds have slats that I will have to put back as I discovered tonight) after telling them repeatedly not to do so. We've taken away things, thrown away some of their things... nothing seems to work.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Do they know what fun things are? Maybe a reward program. Small rewards for small tasks or improvements. Something tangible they can see....a chart, a coin, etc. When they have earned enough small rewards, they can "cash them in" on a bigger prize. Again a chart they can see that explains how to earn and what rewards are options. Could be a toy or activity they want. Have them tell you what they want and use those things as goals. They could earn for making their bed, brushing their teeth, helping in the kitchen, sweeping a floor, watering the cat, etc.

We would love to do that! But when they don't do any of those things without a fight, it ain't happening.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Getting them to do anything at all "right" is a struggle.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

When they do something that we've had to tell them to do, we do thank them, but that's not reward-worthy when we have to get them to do it under duress.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

And they can't read, so a chart won't mean anything to them. I just hope we can get them into pre-school or kindergarten soon. Maybe that will help.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Remember Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka? That's these kids.

 

[Jaybird1980]

Unfortunately gaining control is harder than maintaining control. I believe consistency is the key, if they think they can get away with something (even some of the times) they will do it.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Unfortunately gaining control is harder than maintaining control. I believe consistency is the key, if they think they can get away with something (even some of the times) they will do it.

I don't know. When I was growing up, I really wanted very little interaction with my parents. And I had the most awesome parents ever. I was outside, winter, spring, summer and fall as much as possible. These kids have way more stuff outside to play with than I did too (and I grew up in this house). We played army or baseball, football, catch, or built snow forts, whatever, just to avoid having to be inside.

Now they're complaining because they don't have the "right" cartoon on tv. I told them that when I was their age, we had 4 channels to choose from, and cartoons were only on Saturday mornings. They have no concept of that.

 

[Jaybird1980]

I don't know. When I was growing up, I really wanted very little interaction with my parents. And I had the most awesome parents ever. I was outside, winter, spring, summer and fall as much as possible. These kids have way more stuff outside to play with than I did too (and I grew up in this house). We played army or baseball, football, catch, or built snow forts, whatever, just to avoid having to be inside.

Now they're complaining because they don't have the "right" cartoon on tv. I told them that when I was their age, we had 4 channels to choose from, and cartoons were only on Saturday mornings. They have no concept of that.

Sounds like they wouldn't enjoy taking tv time away. Let them earn tv time with good behavior.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Sounds like they wouldn't enjoy taking tv time away. Let them earn tv time with good behavior.

We've tried that. They go back in their room and trash it. Then it's another fight getting them to pick up their room. I wish we had an extra room with absolutely nothing in it but the 4 walls, but we don't.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

I still like the idea of bundling them up in warm clothes and just making them stay outside for several hours. But then they would no doubt pull out every outside toy they have and spread it all over the yard.