Perspective please

[churchmouse]

Honestly no i have not had a 1 on 1 with him (probably just now over it enough to do so) i might go this route. Also i think your right he does not care for me too much we are polar opposite's.

As mentioned, there are rules to be followed when men discuss these issues. If he was drinking he should curtail this activity when around family. This is why my first FIL ended up on his butt more than once. Drunk and running his pie hole.
If you were not setting a bad tone or overwhelming the gathering it sounds as he is a pompous controlling A$$ hat. JMHO

 

[PGRChaplain]

You can pick your nose, friends and the color of your truck, you can't pick relatives or next door neighbors. Bite the Bullet and show the missus that you love her. A few visits a year is enough.

 

[looney2ns]

As with most folks you are not really familar with, I find it best to stay completely away from:
Politics
Religion
Guns
It usually ends badly if you don't.

 

[concrete dog]

My inlaws are part of the Free Stuff Army. I dont have respect for them or care for them in general. I put up with them because I love my wife who is a world apart from the rest of her family. They live about 20 minutes away and I see them 3 or 4 times a year. I can do that for her.

I hope you are referring to the Food stamp,tanf. army

 

[chadman]

Depends. If the in-law only has this issue about guns, no problem. Sure I'd go back, just wouldn't talk about guns at all. If this attitude is about other topics than I think he's just being controlling and trying to dominate, in which case I wouldn't make any effort to go back for a visit.

I might try one time, in private and in person, talking to him about his concerns. Why he feels the way he does. I'd explain my thoughts/feelings on the subject, tell him my interests and training/experience etc and see how that goes. You can agree to disagree and not talk about it at his place if that's the best you can do.

 

[hfdcowboy]

As mentioned, there are rules to be followed when men discuss these issues. If he was drinking he should curtail this activity when around family. This is why my first FIL ended up on his butt more than once. Drunk and running his pie hole.
If you were not setting a bad tone or overwhelming the gathering it sounds as he is a pompous controlling A$$ hat. JMHO

You know that is exactly what i am afraid of. I told the wife and MIL when i did finally go over there, he had his free one if he did it again i won't hold my tounge, and then its going to get ugly. I believe there comes a time when a man must command respect. I think im going to have the 1 on 1, thats probably the best idea yet.

 

[Shoots4Fun]

I would just remain quiet on the topic as a respect to your wife, not necessarily her family.

 

[Racechase1]

Hold your ground on the FTF. If you don't he'll walk all over you every chance he gets. If you give an inch, he'll take a mile. In the end just tell him that you two are going to have to agree to disagree. You'll respect his rules in his home, but if he continually makes an a$$ of himself, you'll have to say so long. It's better to be seen as a man , then a little boy by the FIL. If you give in, your the boy, and he'll always treat you that way.Just agree to disagree.

 

[Yellowjeep]

Get pics of your wife shooting then hang them on your wall. Then invite the inlaws over. Then you don't have to say a thing, you are taking the high road by inviting them over. And it will **** that bastard off. It's almost a perfect plan.

 

[Slapstick]

The only obvious answer, DIVORCE!

 

[CBR1000rr]

My inlaws are part of the Free Stuff Army. I dont have respect for them or care for them in general. I put up with them because I love my wife who is a world apart from the rest of her family. They live about 20 minutes away and I see them 3 or 4 times a year. I can do that for her.

I couldn't have said it better. We may very well have the same in-laws. Hahaha.... I'm still laughing at the"free stuff army" jab.

OP, if I were in your situation, I would do the following:

1. Speak to him privately. You could invite him to breakfast/lunch or wait for the next"gathering" and ask to speak with him outside.

2. Apologize for stepping over the line and let him know it was an honest mistake. Let him know you understand he doesn't want any form of discussion, in his home, of firearms and you respect that.

3. Tell him how much you love his daughter and that you would like to attend the family functions without having to bring a knife to cut the tension.

He will either respect your wishes and squash the beef or not. If he doesn't it is on him and he will have hell to pay as his wife and daughter will appreciate you for your efforts while sshunning him for his.

 

[cbseniour]

If you cut off your wife's family your will eventually lose your wife.. Therere are pleenty of things to talk about besides guns so go along to get along.

 

[Morgan88]

makes sense

Most of these opinions make sense to me. The father in law makes the rules in his house? Be grateful and appreciate if you have a good wife. Just a few times a year seems pretty small thing. You don't worry about this for weeks before the family function do you?

 

[Mackey]

Like others have said, more or less.
Suck it up and be a good son-in-law.
You're not proving anything by standing up to this and you're wife will eventually resent you ... especially when her parents pass away.

 

[mastery]

Very simple. His house, his rules. At my house, it's my rules. If you don't like his rules, then don't go. Politics, abortion, guns, and any other highly volatile subject matter where people have different core beliefs should be respected, even if you do not agree.

 

[Valvestate]

Lots of good advice here. And as it was pointed out about the drinkin pie hole, here's a bit extra if you want to tell him you won't be in their company if he acts that way. Let him know if he can't handle drinking and being a host at the same time, he should choose one or the other or you and the wife won't be visiting. That's after confirming that you are fine with avoiding firearms discussions, provided that you are in fact fine with it. Maybe he'll realize he's an asshat when drunk.

 

[the1kidd03]

Damn grammar Nazi's....HONOR.......................

Was hoping you'd pick a different letter but that works too

 

[churchmouse]

Was hoping you'd pick a different letter but that works too

I know....I was called out on that off thread.......................

I see what you were doing there.........................

 

[HenryWallace]

I am who I am, and I do what I want.

I want family so I have family. I want to protect them at all costs, so I do. I can be who I want to be because my family loves and respects me. Consistency and time will tell all the truth about anyone and everything.

People will never ever see 100% eye to eye with each other, so let each be who they want apart from each other. It doesn't mean that you don't love them, but that you respect them and their opinions by choosing not to interfere with it. Like we vote with our wallet, we choose how and with whom we spend our time.

 

[Steve B]

Just have the family over to your house for get togethers as often as the wife wants. Then skip the ones at his house.