My most difficult post ever

[mom45]

Thanks for asking. I have my moments. I can be doing something and bam, out of nowhere it hits me like a sledge hammer.

I have been trying to lay low, just my way of dealing with stuff. Yesterday was rough at church. People in their innocence ask, so what happened. That's very hard so I try to let them know I am not ready to talk about it, they seem to understands. It was so unexpected.

My wife has 8 (actually 7) siblings all over the country so they have a zoom meeting every few months. They had one last week that I did not attend, way too soon for me. Last night they had another to share their plans to come in for the service we're having this coming Saturday. The zoom meeting last night was rough because I know how the service will be going. I am not sure how many people will attend, but she was truly loved by so many people....I expect a large turnout. Thinking about that has my stomach in knots; I want it to be over. The service will be streamed for family and friends who cannot come in.

I love my family but from Thursday through Monday morning it will be like the movie "Groundhog Day". Guess I am thinking some day there might be some normalcy but I am certain that day will never come.

Thanks for listening.

Praying for you now and will be doing so on Saturday for strength as you share your memories. Reach out to your support network as you are ready and able to. Everyone grieves in their own way...no right or wrong way...just our own way. Sending massive hugs to you!