Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[Nazgul]

SGT Don was in his rack in MARDET on the carrier after 24 hrs as duty NCO. Our main job was the weapons magazine security. If you pulled that duty you could sleep in , it ended at 0800 . Another SGT across from my bunk, a good friend , was sharpening his KABAR. He saw a fold of my blanket sticking out, you know those delightfully comfortable wool things they gave us. To test the edge he gave the blanket a good swipe. Problem was my left hand was inside.

I remember waking up with blood running everywhere and asked him what the hell he did. His response was he cut me and handed me a dirty sock to stop the blood......

I went to sick bay, had some kid about 18 years old sew it up, and lied about how it happened. Said I was opening a plastic package with a box cutter.

It was about 8 - 10 stitches if I remember right.

Don

 

[Alamo]

Somehow the Kabar cutting story reminds me:

I had a section of computer guys, NCOs and civilians. One day the NCOs form a detail to go load old desktop computers we had been storing on base until we got enough to take to DRMO by truck. NCOIC tags new guy to help. Off they go.

New guy is carrying a monitor - the heavy bulky CRT type - up some concrete steps. He catches his toe on a step and falls forward, and by habit tries to save an obsolete monitor instead of himself, staggers two more steps then crashes, smashing his knee on a step. Off to the clinic, Xrays, ibiprofen, coldpack, bandage, ace wraps, crutches. Profile for however long.

I look up from my desk as the detail limps back in. NCOIC reports to me, explains what happened, and says, “Sorry I broke the new guy, sir.” Sigh.

 

[Alamo]

Couple days ago I stopped into National Museum of the Pacific War in Fredricksburg. This is built around the Nimitz Hotel, originally run by the family of the World War II Admiral Nimitz.

It’s a pretty big complex now, I primarily went thru just the George H.W. Bush Gallery which provides a history and artifacts of the Pacific War from start to finish, primarily from a Navy/Marine point of view.

One of the artifacts is Admiral Nimitz’s, personal sidearm that he carried during the war.

Interestingly, it is .22 caliber. It is a High Standard Model H-D. The government bought about 44,000 of these to be training pistols. They approximate the grip angle, sights, and operation of the M1911 while being cheaper and easier to shoot. A variant of it with a hella long integrally suppressed barrel was also purchased for the OSS.

Nimitz’s pistol has his initials etched on it by hand in large letters.

When Nimitz moved his headquarters from Hawaii to Guam, he built a shooting range on recommendation of the fleet surgeon to deal with stress. Accounts say he practiced daily, and I would assume with this pistol, but don’t know for sure.

Here’s an article on the High Standard H-D pistol in general:

https://www.guns.com/news/2013/02/21/the-high-standard-hd-22-pistol-dirty-deeds-done-dirt-cheap

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

Started out working on J-79 engines for F-4 Phantoms. Every hose, bolt, nut and electrical connector was safety wired because of super high frequency vibration.





Moved on to TF-34s for the A-10. No afterburner but a dual spool fan/compressor & high/low pressure turbine.




Along with the turbofans on the A-10, I also worked on the Auxilary Power Unit, (APU). It provided electrical and hydralic power on the ground and bleed air to start the engines. It was located in the belly of the aircraft, between the engines.

 

[Nazgul]

View attachment 356640

SGT Don was getting his squad ready for a weapons movement and had to get one slowpoke PVT to hurry up when a big bottle of mouthwash fell out of his locker. It was full of Jack Daniels. Needless to say he didn't go to the scheduled activity....

Don

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

Later in my career, I cross trained out of Aircraft Maintenance and became a Logistics Planner, (Loggie). Spent ten years getting the right people and right equipment to the right place, at the right time. That is where my username came from. The above meme reminds me of the times I worked with our sister services. Spent many hours out on the aircraft parking ramp mashalling and supervising the loading of troops, pax and cargo for deployment. The easiest groups to work with were Army Rangers and Marine Aviation. The most bone headed & frustrating groups were Navy SEALs and USAF KC-10 units, (aka "Gucci boys").

 

[2A_Tom]

I appreciated the Air Force, they let me down many times!

As a paratrooper if you were not AIRBORNE you were a leg.

Interestingly legs had jeeps, trucks, tracks, and such to carry them.

We paratroopers on the other hand had nothing but the shoe leather express.

 

[Alamo]

I appreciated the Air Force, they let me down many times!

As a paratrooper if you were not AIRBORNE you were a leg.

…

As an Air Force ROTC cadet I got the chance to go to The Airborne School at (then) Ft Bragg. Great experience! Confirmed my choices to 1) go Air Force, 2) as an officer.

Anyway, the very first day, there’s this big mob of people in the company area: alot of regular army listed guys, Marine somethings, Army finance officers, Navy, graduates of Ranger school, Air Force ROMADs, more Army guys, and … about 9 AFROTC cadets.

The company tac NCO steps out onto the concrete steps outside his office and screams at everyone “AT EASE YOU FILTHY LEGS” or something to that effect. I think this is also when he announced that we would not walk ever again. Whenever we moved from one place to another while not in formation, we would do it at a run, even if it was only one step. That was fun!

He ordered all the regular army enlisted guys who were going to be real paratroopers go (run!) to the other end of the company area to form one platoon and assigns one of his assistant NCOs to go sort them out. The rest of us tourists will form the other platoon.

Then he shouts “All you Army people line up first at bottom of my stairs.” They all scurry over. “Next best service is the Navy, line up behind them!” Scurry scurry. “ Marines, line up behind the Navy!” More scurry. Big pause. “IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE!?”

He was so pleased to find out he had Air Force personnel in his company that we got to do push-ups before scurrying into line.

Bad day at work:

this must be from a helicopter. I never got to jump from a helicopter, C130 and C141 for me.

 

[2A_Tom]

There were 2 Navy Seals in my training company at Ft Benning. They only said one word the entire month. They said it maybe one or twice a day.

 

[Doug]

There were 2 Navy Seals in my training company at Ft Benning. They only said one word the entire month. They said it maybe one or twice a day.

What was it?

 

[actaeon277]

What was it?

I could guess

 

[2A_Tom]

Uhrah, or some similar guttural.

 

[Brad69]

@2A Tom is so old he probably jumped out of C119 !

 

[Alamo]

There were 2 Navy Seals in my training company at Ft Benning. They only said one word the entire month. They said it maybe one or twice a day.

Was that word “ AIRBORNE!” ??

 

[KellyinAvon]

@2A Tom is so old he probably jumped out of C119 !

HARSH! Not as harsh as "jumped out of a C-47," but still harsh.

 

[2A_Tom]

C 130, 141, UH 1b, and C 7a. I tried to get manifested on a C 5a, but they stopped using them because they couldn't get down to 130 and caused too many malfunctions.

My grandson is currently in the 82nd.

 

[Alamo]

C 130, 141, UH 1b, and C 7a. I tried to get manifested on a C 5a, but they stopped using them because they couldn't get down to 130 and caused too many malfunctions.

My grandson is currently in the 82nd.

USAF was still using C-123 Providers at the School when I went thru course, wanted to jump from one of those, but oddly they didn’t consult me about my wishes. Pity.