Lacking Basic "Guy" Skills

[churchmouse]

Schools do teach it. It's called "Home Ec" and "Shop Class", but there are only so many hours that they can dedicate to them and you obviously can't cover everything. My home ec class in high school taught basic cooking, sewing and budgeting skills. I still use all three skills today.

They have eliminated the shop class at many high schools and all private and religious based schools. It is something you have to seek out in training your kids now.

 

[rotortech]

I have three daughters. I teach them things all the time. When they learn to drive they have to learn how to change a tire and practice it in the driveway. I tell them that when they have to do it for real it will be raining and they will be on the side of the road. When I fix things on their car I show them what went wrong and why it was making that noise and how it will be fixed. They have all gotten very good at telling me "My car is making a new noise. Can you look at it?"

They know how to start a fire, cook a meal, clean up a mess, and (this is important) read a map. They also know how to load a magazine, put the mag in the gun, chamber a round, and shoot. Whenever I am working on a project, like replacing a door, I take the time to explain what I am doing. Sometimes they are interested, and sometimes not. They get the lesson anyway. Free of charge. They have been raised with the understanding that they will have to work for their money and learn to live on what they earn.

Am I doing enough? No, but I try anyway.

 

[MrYesterday]

learn to live on what they earn.

This is a skill 95% or Americans don't have. People living on future earnings when the future isn't certain.

 

[t_star]

When I was a senior in highschool I was dating a guy a couple years older. I got a flat on my '87 Cutlass Supreme, and thought he'd be a gentleman & change it for me, or at the very least, help me. Nope. He didn't have a clue how to change a tire. Thankfully, my mom taught me the importance of simple car maintainence when I started driving.
"Guy skills" have been a dating requirement ever since.

 

[goinggreyfast]

A couple of you have hit the nail squarely on the head--no positive male role model in the home. Yes, the ladies SHOULD have those skills as well, but they weren't raised that way. They went out and married whomever paid them the most attention, only to hitch their wagon to a sperm donor who now has nothing to do with his children. Additional problem--many of the father's who DO want to have time with their children don't get to spend enough of it with them to actually "teach their children well" (Obvious CSNY reference) because the court has deemed it so.

 

[indysims]

I was in walmart a couple weeks ago in the tire and auto center. A kid in his mid 20's came in concerned he had a dead battery. He said he had to be jumped to get there and the battery was old, wanted a new one. This was the that first big cold spell we had a few weeks ago and the tire and lube center was swamped with people wanting tires and oil changes... They told this kid it would be 2 hours before they could install a new battery and he said "that's fine" and sat and played on his iPhone. I considered sitting next to him and explaining with about 10 minutes and a $10 set of tools he could change his battery himself, but decided not to get involved. It blows my mind. We live in a world today where you can get on youtube and watch and learn how to do just about anything. I'm not Joe Mechanic, but I change my own oil, batteries, sparkplugs, etc. I put a new radiator in my wife's car last summer, had no idea how to do it, was intimidated, but after watching a video on youtube it was no big deal.

 

[Scutter01]

I considered sitting next to him and explaining with about 10 minutes and a $10 set of tools he could change his battery himself, but decided not to get involved.

Not to get off-track, but my battery requires FOUR DIFFERENT TOOLS to remove and replace it. Makes no sense. Still, it beats my mom's old car. To change the headlight, you had to remove the entire front bumper and grill. It was a major production and usually took at least an hour.

 

[indysims]

I think my truck takes 2 socket sizes... sure some are worse then others, but still one of the most basics tasks in car maintenance.

 

[goinggreyfast]

I was in walmart a couple weeks ago in the tire and auto center. A kid in his mid 20's came in concerned he had a dead battery. He said he had to be jumped to get there and the battery was old, wanted a new one. This was the that first big cold spell we had a few weeks ago and the tire and lube center was swamped with people wanting tires and oil changes... They told this kid it would be 2 hours before they could install a new battery and he said "that's fine" and sat and played on his iPhone. I considered sitting next to him and explaining with about 10 minutes and a $10 set of tools he could change his battery himself, but decided not to get involved. It blows my mind. We live in a world today where you can get on youtube and watch and learn how to do just about anything. I'm not Joe Mechanic, but I change my own oil, batteries, sparkplugs, etc. I put a new radiator in my wife's car last summer, had no idea how to do it, was intimidated, but after watching a video on youtube it was no big deal.

Just a question: Why didn't you get involved? Why not take 15 or so minutes to show this kid what it takes to change a battery? Random acts of kindness can sometimes do more for kids like this than anything else. Also it probably would have left more of an impression on him than just how to change a car battery. I'm not condemning you friend, just pointing out that sometimes it does take a village to raise a child.

 

[cburnworth]

I didn't learn how to work on anything car related from my father, my first car was a 78 chevette. I got it before I got my license so it was parked in the garage, I decided I needed to play around & figure some things out about it. I had worked with my grandpa as a younger kid on the riding mower, but that was it.

 

[fullmetaljesus]

I know how to change a tire, change a bat etc. However one day, I picked up a new bat for my cherokee back when i was 18. The cherokee had this bar thingy that went over the bat and was secured with these really long bolts. It was a bar to keep the bat from jumping around. I had the new bat in the Jeep and was fighting with getting the damn bar lined up properly. it was cold and getting dark. I was in the parking lot of walmart, and Im thinking damn if only I had another pair of hands i could get this. I nice fellow walks up and says "looks like your having some trouble" I replied "I've got it in, but i can't get this bar lined up" He spent 5 min with me being my extra hands and even handed me a tool when i needed it.

I grew up with an awesome do it yourself dad, who will happily stop to help someone out. It was really nice to see it come back. I have always tried my best (even though im a young guy) to help people when needed.

 

[Hiker1911]

And, you've got guys that have talents (but no means or training) to exercise skill, given the need for instruction, practice, and more practice while learning tasks/jobs. My father worked seven days, and others stepped in to show me the ropes, tools, how to practice, and perform guy stuff.

 

[goinggreyfast]

And, you've got guys that have talents (but no means or training) to exercise skill, given the need for instruction, practice, and more practice while learning tasks/jobs. My father worked seven days, and others stepped in to show me the ropes, tools, how to practice, and perform guy stuff.

Thank you for helping make my point in Post #29.

 

[hooky]

My son is constantly wondering why we're doing something ourselves instead of paying to have it done. We put in a garbage disposal as a Christmas gift for my wife. He got to learn some basic plumbing and electrical. You would have thought I sold him into indentured servitude for an afternoon. He had the same attitude when I made him learn to use a map and compass. "Why don't we just use the GPS?" I think parents don't teach it because it causes friction. You can't be your child's best friend if you're making them do things that they don't like.

As far as the kid I helped last night, he was driving a nearly new car and was nicely dressed. He said he was 5 minutes from home. I seriously doubt he was from a single parent home, unless mom is knocking down a 6 figure income. The lady was in a Lexus and had a huge rock on her hand. I'm inclined to believe that it's combination of things and it's only going to get worse.

 

[fullmetaljesus]

I learned so much about plumbing living in an old farm house with my folks. Winters always brought forth a new crawlspace adventure.

Is my generation the last to get these adventures? Im 27.

 

[Scutter01]

My son is constantly wondering why we're doing something ourselves instead of paying to have it done. We put in a garbage disposal as a Christmas gift for my wife. He got to learn some basic plumbing and electrical. You would have thought I sold him into indentured servitude for an afternoon. He had the same attitude when I made him learn to use a map and compass. "Why don't we just use the GPS?" I think parents don't teach it because it causes friction. You can't be your child's best friend if you're making them do things that they don't like.

My 10-year-old (at the time) daughter was NOT happy to be crawling under the car helping me change the oil.

 

[hooky]

Come on over this summer and she can help with privacy fence my son will be carping and moaning about. They can take turns on the post hole digger

 

[goinggreyfast]

Come on over this summer and she can help with privacy fence my son will be carping and moaning about. They can take turns on the post hole digger

No doubt! I've got some painting n stuff to do as well. I'll buy a few cold beverages for when we kick back in the lawn chairs n watch--I mean direct--I mean help.

 

[canav844]

I remembered learning more about swearing than I did working on cars if my dad was trying to do something. It is something that I use daily. Good thing there were Chilton's and other manuals laying around the garage and at grandpa's.

"Ooooohhhhhh fffffuuuuuuuuudddggggge"

I never did too much work on the cars with my Dad but we did a ton of stuff around the house, including trench digging to replace the lead pipes with copper, which meant I also learned to solder copper pipes, finished the basement so I new all about drywall and ceiling tile handing, painted the house so I learned to remove paint and install shingles and how to assemble and maneuver on scaffolding; learned to run a jackhammer when I was 5 to help with the installation of a sub-pump in my grandfathers house after a flood. When it came to cars I had help changing the oil on my car once, after that we went out and got the service manual and I did all the work on that car from then on, and when I got a new car I've done all non-warranty work, including many things my parents would be towing their cars to the shop for. And I can credit much use of a knife, compass, map reading (actual terrain map), fire building, first exposure to formal first aid training, etc. to my time as a cub scout; because it was at least the catalyst for the motivation to have it taught to me by my parents. I never had home ec or shop class even offered in high school, but did jump at the chance to take a class that covered basic accounting skills, everything from checkbook management and filing taxes, to how the stock market worked.

My mother wouldn't allow so much as squirt gun in the house when I was a kid (not even the dollar store variety let alone a supersoaker); so unlike what seems to be almost everyone else on the internet, I didn't learn to shoot when I was 5 as part of growing up. I had to teach myself the basics then seek out professional training. Just because it wasn't provided didn't mean I was going to go through life without knowing, and that's the other half of the equation here, there has to be individual motivation recognize vital skills and effort to learn them form the individual.

And more than once in high school I was the night in shinning armor to damsels in distress who's dome lights had depleted their car battery over the course of the school day, if that doesn't make it a vital life skill I'm not sure anything will.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

My dad was basically competent in various things, enough to give me the idea that I could understand them myself, but I took it a few levels past that. I ran all my adults out of answers long before I ran out of questions, and had to learn it all myself. My son? Not so much. Radiators? Yeah I replaced one in the dark, in the winter, with a brace on my wrist for a ganglion cyst. Cars know better than to mess with me, man.

Our upward mobility has hurt us in some ways. The people of one generation want "better" for their children, and direct them to the "higher" professions; medicine, law, accountancy, whatever, so they don't have to lower themselves to actually do things, and can afford to have others do them. This leaves us with lawyers, "businessmen", whatever, but fewer and fewer actually doing and making, and those pricing themselves out of the market to buy the lifestyle they see themselves deserving. Then you wind up with illegal immigrants being the only ones willing to do some things.