INGO: Joke of the day page

[rhino]

Food stand idea: BBQ chicken ribs.

 

[rkwhyte2]

Food stand idea: BBQ chicken ribs.

Already done they are called breasts?

 

[rhino]

Already done they are called breasts?

Haha! No, just the ribs and the stuff in between like pork ribs. Delicious, but it's a lot of work!

 

[daddyusmaximus]

An old woman was sitting on the porch one evening with her husband, sipping a glass of wine. "I love you so much," she says. " "In fact, I doubt I could live without you. I know I wouldn't want to even try to get by a single day without you."

Her husband was almost speechless at this uncharacteristic display of emotion. "Is that you talking, or the wine?"

"It's me silly," she replied, "talking TO the wine."

 

[actaeon277]

 

[daddyusmaximus]

I stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new F-150 aluminum pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.

The salesperson (a nice looking lady wearing an “I love Obama” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. The seats were of particular interest.

She explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

Feeling like messing with her, I mentioned that this must be a CONSERVATIVE truck.

Looking a bit angry, she asked why I thought it was a CONSERVATIVE truck.

I explained that if it were a LIBERAL truck, the seats would just blow smoke up your ass year-round!

I had to walk back to the dealership. But it was worth it.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

For the first time in a very long time, "Thai Boys" is no longer a risky Google search.

 

[numbaonecoltsfan]

A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.

"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar" he replied. "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?" "I will study" the young man replied "and God will provide for us".

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father. "I will concentrate on my studies" the young man replied "God will provide for us".

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide" replied the fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this... and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked "How did your talk go, honey?" The father answered "Another Democrat. He has no job, he has no plans and he thinks I'm God

 

[Hoosierdood]

Han Solo once killed a Wookie and ate it.

He said it tasted alright...








But the meat was Chewy.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

Fine fine, tough crowd.

How about this one...

People who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words.

 

[Bigtanker]

 

[jamil]

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Eh. It's old. Probably everyone's already heard it.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Ericpwp]

Yes.

 

[hoosierdoc]

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

 

[Doug]

American ships are called "USS," for United States Ship.

British ships are called "HMS," Her Majesty's Ship.

Italian ships, "AMB," Atsa My Boat.

 

[actaeon277]

[video=youtube;Pgs-LaWyUJI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgs-LaWyUJI[/video]

 

[patience0830]

[video=youtube;Pgs-LaWyUJI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgs-LaWyUJI[/video]

Thank you Act. I miss him.

 

[actaeon277]