If your wife was raped, would you make her have the baby?

[speedsix]

I've said this before, Ill say it now, and Ill say it again at some point in the future Im sure.

Regardless if Im pro-choice or pro-life, the .gov has no business in telling anyone what they can or can't do in this situation. Period.

I agree. Keep the government out of our personal lives and decisions as much as possible. Nobody is pro-abortion. I have never had to make a choice on this matter but if I got someone pregnant, I would want whatever choice we made to be ours and not the government's.

I couldn't imagine the frustration and anger my wife would feel after being told that she was forced to give birth to a child she didn't want. I'm glad I am a man and don't really have to worry about it like women do. In fact, I don't think men should be as vocal on the topic as they tend to be. This issue should be left up to the women who have to face the choice.

 

[speedsix]

For those of you who would give the baby up for adoption or advocate that course of action for someone else - Do you think the adopting family should be advised that the father of the baby is a rapist? Would you want to know that the father of the child you are about to adopt is a rapist?

That's a tough one. On one hand I believe certain personality traits are genetic but on the other, I wouldn't want to negatively affect a child's future. I don't have any idea if being a rapist is genetic but anyone who has kids knows that much of their personality seems to be innate.

You can have three kids that are brought up the same yet have wildly different personalities. Where does it come from if not learned?

 

[miguel]

It's not my choice to make. Not yours. Not Joe's. Not Dick. Not anyone but hers. I might have some input on her decision, but it would be her choice and her choice alone. Everyone else can go **** themselves.

This.

 

[calcot7]

Only if I was the low life scumbag who raped her!

 

[Wild Deuce]

I consider the question to contain an inherent problem issue. It is emotionalizing a matter of principle. Most people who oppose abortion do so on the grounds that it is tantamount to the involuntary destruction of another human being, commonly known as murder. As disgusting as it may be, and as willing as I may be to turn a blind eye to those who may wish to visit such a demise on the perpetrator, the personal tragedy involved does not change the issue. You either do or do not believe abortion to constitute murder as an unborn child either is or is not a human being. There is no such thing as a situational truth. Something either is or is not true. We may disagree on what the truth is in some instances, but anyone who will take diametrically opposite positions on the same issue (i.e., whether or not an unborn child is a human being deserving treatment as such) depending on personal convenience is a liar.

I will also add that the original question is based on a false premise so far as about the only thing anyone can force their spouse to do is go to divorce court if they can't some to a workable agreement.

Best response thus far.

I've said this before, Ill say it now, and Ill say it again at some point in the future Im sure.

Regardless if Im pro-choice or pro-life, the .gov has no business in telling anyone what they can or can't do in this situation. Period.

Politely disagree. The ".gov" does have an obligation to protect the defenseless and the innocent. Nobody will argue against individual rights. However, those rights end when they intrude on someone else's rights. Abortion is a big intrusion on someone else's right to life.

Not trying to change your mind ... just making a point.

 

[IndyDave1776]

How so? His DNA is in play, not yours. You had absolutely nothing to do with this creation, this blessing. Why do you even get a seat at the table?

Please tell me you are joking and/or otherwise not serious.

 

[level.eleven]

It takes more than DNA to play at my table.

A violent felony is not the process by which I would consider one to be "reserving a seat".

Interesting. Now, method mattes.

 

[level.eleven]

Please tell me you are joking and/or otherwise not serious.

Not at all. You are not the father of this child. Why do you have any say in the matter?

 

[IndyDave1776]

Not at all. You are not the father of this child. Why do you have any say in the matter?

You have left me speechless and aware of a serious error on my part. I had mistaken you (frequent political disagreement notwithstand) for a sensible and decent human being. Please accept my apology for this mischaracterization.

 

[BiscuitNaBasket]

I'd never marry a woman who needs me to tell her what to do.

Quoted for thruthiness.

 

[Mustang380gal]

To All,

Just to muddy the waters here a bit - For those who say they would have or be OK with their wives giving birth this is NOT meant to argue but to illuminate an important issue.

We do realize that the husband is not the father. The rapist can claim parental rights. The child, when born, is not automatically under the sole authority of the birthing mother. So what you want to do does not mean you can legally do it.

While this may or may not change your opinion, and it is not meant to, it should shine a bit of light on this not so black and white issue.

Regards,

Doug

PS - May none of you ever have to make this kind of choice!

I don't know about Indiana law, but under Ohio law, the child would be considered the offspring of the married parents. Who is to say that the child was not conceived the day before the rape?

Also, I have worked in an emergency room as a registered nurse. If someone comes in as an assault victim, it was common for them to receive medication to prevent pregnancy after a pregnancy test was done (not from that act, but any previous sexual activity could have resulted in pregnancy.)

I have had nine babies. I honestly don't think that I could kill a child I was carrying despite the awful circumstances of conception. I don't think I could give the child up for adoption because it would be my child the same as the other 9, who came from me. How on earth could I explain to my kids that I'm giving away a brother or sister without them wondering if they are next? My older ones could probably understand, but not the younger. It would be bad enough to work through the crime against me without rocking the world of my kids.

As to whether the bad guy comes back for "his rights", not bloody likely. This momma bear would protect her cubs, and has a nasty bite.

 

[Colinb913]

And this is the reason my fiance is starting to carry a gun, a knife, and a small pepper spray.

 

[RedneckReject]

I have had nine babies. I honestly don't think that I could kill a child I was carrying despite the awful circumstances of conception. I don't think I could give the child up for adoption because it would be my child the same as the other 9, who came from me. How on earth could I explain to my kids that I'm giving away a brother or sister without them wondering if they are next? My older ones could probably understand, but not the younger. It would be bad enough to work through the crime against me without rocking the world of my kids.

I don't see this happening for me simply because I would be smart enough to take the morning after pill just in case. Well that and the fact that I've already had a tubal done, but for the sake of the "what if?" you make an excellent point. My first thought would be to carry the child and give it up for adoption. I would not abort it simply because I conceived due to a rape. It's not the child's fault. However it would be very difficult to live with the daily reminder of my rape baby. You hit the nail on the head though and I hadn't thought about it. What would my 3 year old daughter think? She was so excited when her (now 10 month old) sister was born. What would she think if mommy had another baby and then gave it away? I would rather put myself through hell on Earth than make my children suffer. Tough call on this one but regardless of what happened after the birth I would definitely carry to term.

 

[GlockPaperScissors]

If your wife was brutally raped by some low life scumbag, would you insist that she carried the baby to full term and give birth to it? This is a serious question because this point was brought up by some politicians recently. I think personalizing it by making it your wife instead of some stanger is a more honest way of looking at things. Everyone is someone's wife, daughter or mother.

Being a woman, this is a very hard question to answer. I don't typically support abortion unless the mother's life is at stake. That being said, I don't think I could endure 9 months of having to relive that kind of brutality over and over again because I was impregnated.

Although, adoption is always an option and there are many people out there who cannot have their own children and would like an opportunity to be a parent. I'm honestly not sure which way I would go. Hopefully I'll never have to make that decision.

 

[mrortega]

Can you legally get an abortion that late in the game? strictly curious...

Huh? Are you serious? You don't know that you can legally kill the baby up to and during the process of birth, as long as part of "it" is still in the birth canal? Haven't you heard of Partial Birth Abortion? I'll save you the trouble of Googling it up. The "product of conception" is turned in the womb, pulled out most of the way feet first (breech) then the head is kept in the vagina while the "doctor" stabs a sharp device into the base of the skull and kills the "choice." He/she then suctions out the brain, thereby collapsing the skull, and then pulls the dead "inconvience" out and disposes of "it."

Too graphic? It happens and it's legal.

 

[mrortega]

What would you guys do when the guy who raped your wife and got her pregnant with his sperm gets out of jail and decides to be a part of his kid's life?

No jury in the world.........

 

[mrortega]

I love the men in here... "I KNOW my wife would carry it." "She would never think of abortion." "My wife is anti-abortion."


To quote Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face."

Don't be so general. I guarantee my wife would take the child to term. She would even give her life if it meant the baby could go to term and be born, as in the case of refusing treatment to save her life for a condition in which that treatment would hurt or kill the baby.

 

[jrogers]

I will also add that the original question is based on a false premise so far as about the only thing anyone can force their spouse to do is go to divorce court if they can't some to a workable agreement.

The OP is not based on a false premise. Go work with spousal abuse victims for a while, then come back and tell me no one can force their wife to do anything. The rational actor is a fiction.

 

[Willie]

I would not "force my wife" but knowing her well she would carry the bay to full term, deliver and keep it - with my support.

It is not the child's fault it was concieved under an act of violence..

 

[daddymikey1975]

I must begin by saying that the topic of this thread is VERY heated and controversial and I'm amazed that after 12 pages, there hasn't been any flaming. to everyone that has remained civil (now why can't we be just as civil with dissenting opinions during OC/CC threads ?? )

Don't apologize! You are very obviously qualified to speak to the issue. I appreciate your willingness to share. My only intent was to bring a female
perspective and was not, in any way, meant to denigrate anyone else. Maybe, I didn't explain myself well enough.

My entire post wasn't aimed at attacking you in any way. If you felt that way, my most sincere apologies Thank you for identifying my qualifications to offer my opinion. I certainly welcome the opinions of other females on this topic. It's interesting to see how they compare to my wife's personal opinion on the matter.

I've said this before, Ill say it now, and Ill say it again at some point in the future Im sure.

Regardless if Im pro-choice or pro-life, the .gov has no business in telling anyone what they can or can't do in this situation. Period.

^ This.. 165%. Totally agree.. no matter what our stance is individually, .gov shouldn't be dictating our actions.

There are times when a man may need to stand in a gap of the law to do what's right.

Again, ^ This. 100% .. and I'll add "or use every single punctuation mark of the existing law to their advantage as necessary".. I gave a child up for adoption before. Long story as to how/why. The one thing I can tell you is that the mother filed the paperwork (required since we weren't married). We both seeked out the adoption agency and we both chose the adoptive parents to-be based on certain criteria. Once all was settled and process was in motion, the parents-to-be hired an attorney to draft the paperwork (procedural). The paperwork stated (paraphrasing) "blah blah.. here's what we're expecting. You agree that within 72 hours you'll sign off your rights as the parent to allow the adoption to proceed. Please let me know if this is your intentions or not. If this is not your intentions, or if you change your mind, we will have to proceed in another fashion."

The bolded part (for those that disagree with what ATM and myself are getting at here) is the 'using the law to your advantage' or 'standing in a gap of the law'. That was the attorney (FOR the prospective parents) basically letting me know that this is the amicable way and expected way for things to proceed. If not, there are OTHER ways to make this happen (like it or not was implied).

to ATM (again )

For those of you who would give the baby up for adoption or advocate that course of action for someone else - Do you think the adopting family should be advised that the father of the baby is a rapist? Would you want to know that the father of the child you are about to adopt is a rapist?

In the adoption proceedings that I embarked on, we advised the agancy and the prospective parents that I have some medical conditoins that might be hereditary with supporting documentation. Some parents were shallow enough to refuse to continue, others welcomed the child with open arms without prejudice.

With my 6 year old stepson, he was born with a couple medical conditions that we were blind sided by. My wife and I struggled for the longest time with the decision to contact the donor or not. We agreed that his medical history could prove to be valuable information in the future so we contacted him about his medical history.

IMO, the rapist could have medical history that might be pertinent but there would be an almost impossible barrier to overcome to obtain the medical history. When placing a child for adoption, most of the parties on the other side of the table are very curious as to 'why'. Tough call, but I'd be forthcoming with the information. Could prove very useful. I could see the prospective parents loving the child much more because of the circumstances.

As a side note, there are some VERY good opinions discussed here. Both for, and against, and ALL of them have merit from each member's perspective. Some arguments made for and against have made me re-evaluate my stance on some of the intricacies of this topic.

Big "THANK YOU" to everyone that has offered opinions (for and against) and remaining civil.. I have gotten alot from this thread already