I need help getting wife to understand SHTF

[INMIline]

Have any of you had trouble getting the wife to understand the thin wire we're on here. It's my job to protect and be prepared, so if she gets upset so be it. But what are some ideas to get her to understand that we are at a somewhat high risk here. I tell her, the toughest times we will ever see in our life time are coming. She somewhat gets the idea but I want her on as close to the same page as possible.
I'm just throwing this out there. If I need to elaborate my idea of SHTF I can. But I'm trying to get her to understand that the house needs as much protection as possible and we need to be a step ahead. Just shooting for ideas. Thanks in advance

 

[RogerB]

I'm in the same boat so I'll be watching this thread. My wife and step kids think I'm nuts because I keep reminding them to lock the exterior doors as they come and go. Even with all the home invasions in the news, they don't get it.

 

[misconfig]

My wife "supports" my SHTF scenario planning but every now and again I get some negative remarks from her. I think most women naturally leave this job to the man; you just need to get her on your side.

Take charge, store food / water, munitions and firearms and let her feel safe.

 

[United]

Still haven't got my wife on board with it...it's been 2 years or so. She's been ok with me buying things to prepare and stock up..but she still says I am nuts...and she still refuses to keep a simple bug out bag in her car. This is after I bought her all the stuff as well!

So, I have mine in my car and the kids get hers. She knows if SHTF that she is not in my immediate plans to feed, shelter or hydrate if we are even together when/if it happens. The kids and me will be the only priority i have...and she is fine with that..at least now she is. Wait until/if SHTF lol.

This sort of thinking is not for everyone, so if they don't take to it after a few conversations..then I wouldn't worry any further. But thats just me.

 

[RachelMarie]

I'm going to chime in here because I once was the wife that didn't get it. My.02...Dont rush her. Dont make her scared for her or her families life. Dont talk about Fema and things happening to the kids or to you. My husband is the glue that holds this family together so thinking about something happening to your husband or your kids can send you over the edge. MAKE SURE it isn't all you talk about, dont drive her nuts with it. Women are different, more emotional I guess.
If you want her to get it, just start talking politics with her and pointing out things that need to be pointed out. If she doesn't want to be a part of the prepping, so be it. Dont make her....YOU do it! TRUST me when I say that she probably believes S will HTF but doesn't want to think about it. Please dont make it a daily conversation. When my hub started in on me about it, I thought of the WORST senerios (sp)....DONT LET HER DO THAT! Reassure her and let her know that you WILL be prepared and okay. Dont tell her what "could" happen. Take it into your own hands, YOU pack her a BOB...You make her a list of what she needs (be realistic). Just dont push her....SHTF is a very scary situation for a woman (especially with children, but even without). Make sure you dont mak SHTF your life. Although it is IMPORTANT, you've still got to take the time to enjoy the life we have, the memories we have. Do it slowly....
If she (and you) are religious, and she talks to you about concerns she is having...just tell her to pray.

Hope this helps

 

[RachelMarie]

So, I have mine in my car and the kids get hers. She knows if SHTF that she is not in my immediate plans to feed, shelter or hydrate if we are even together when/if it happens. The kids and me will be the only priority i have...and she is fine with that..at least now she is. Wait until/if SHTF lol.

I dont know the situation or anything.....But this has got to be one of the rudest statments I've heard about a shtf situation. She is your wife, your kids MOM....she should be a priority for that reason ALONE.
IMO even if you guys are no longer together....she should be a priority. For your kids sake!

 

[threehunters]

I was also the wife that didn't get it. But what hooked me was the alternative reasons for preparing... like job loss, illness, natural disaster, severe inflation, the unforeseen that isn't as apocalyptic.

So, because it's my responsibility to make sure we are fed, the food accumulation became my thing. It started with a garden, went to canning, then noticing how nice it was to not have to go up to the store all the time. Now, we are heavy into food storage. I don't buy into all my husband does, but the things I'm helping to do will make sure that we are taken care of, no matter what...

 

[RachelMarie]

I was also the wife that didn't get it. But what hooked me was the alternative reasons for preparing... like job loss, illness, natural disaster, severe inflation, the unforeseen that isn't as apocalyptic.

So, because it's my responsibility to make sure we are fed, the food accumulation became my thing. It started with a garden, went to canning, then noticing how nice it was to not have to go up to the store all the time. Now, we are heavy into food storage. I don't buy into all my husband does, but the things I'm helping to do will make sure that we are taken care of, no matter what...

 

[United]

understand..a bit harsh maybe...but she just flat wants nothing to do with any of it. Even her Mother who is very religious, told her what I was doing is right and even she was doing the same thing! That shocked me and my wife both lol but she still thinks that the world is ok and that Obama or any Govt. would save us if something bad happened. This coming from the woman who has relative in New Orleans...

I will say she has mentioned things about SHTF stuff here and there on her own, most in a joking matter..so I haven't given up all hope on her just yet. I still have the BoB all stocked..but everytime i put it in her car, it's back in my office the next day and she tells me "save it for the kids, take care of them and not me if your end of the world sh&t happens"....one day she'll get tired of taking it out and just keep it there maybe. But I have to ask myself, if SHTF would she actually use what is there for her or just lay over and die or not want to carry it.

So, i'm in a pickle as is a lot of others...but maybe over time she will come around..or maybe after one event it might all sink in for her and a lot of other people out there.

 

[kludge]

Starting with a "summer" and "winter car kit" would meet with little resistance, I would think... just don't call it a BoB or SHFT kit.

Blankets or those new fleece sleeping bags for the passengers some energy bars or trail mix, flashlight, extra batteries, a hand shovel...

When the snow hits and you call a tow truck, you are last on the list, and you have to wait your turn.

Water bottles should be in there too, but how do you keep water from freezing??? I guess you just have to put it in your coat and drink it as it thaws.

 

[melensdad]

Do not take this personally but if anyone tries to convince his wife of a SHTF scenario then you are an idiot. And I know of what I speak, my wife claims all men are idiots and I am the king

So that said this is what you need to do

Personalize things. Make it all personal to you and your family. Honey, I want to start a garden just in case one of use looses our job we'll have plenty to eat for cheap. Honey, I want to start to can some food, we need something to do with all this produce we are growing. Honey, just in case I die/am gone from the house/am on a business trip, I want you to know how to defend yourself with my gun. Honey, we need to pay off some of these debts just in case inflation picks up.

Break EVERYTHING DOWN to simple things. You know like Grandma and Grampa used to live.

 

[hardtrailz400]

Do not take this personally but if anyone tries to convince his wife of a SHTF scenario then you are an idiot. And I know of what I speak, my wife claims all men are idiots and I am the king

So that said this is what you need to do

Personalize things. Make it all personal to you and your family. Honey, I want to start a garden just in case one of use looses our job we'll have plenty to eat for cheap. Honey, I want to start to can some food, we need something to do with all this produce we are growing. Honey, just in case I die/am gone from the house/am on a business trip, I want you to know how to defend yourself with my gun. Honey, we need to pay off some of these debts just in case inflation picks up.

Break EVERYTHING DOWN to simple things. You know like Grandma and Grampa used to live.

Well Said. Simplificaion is a big key.

 

[United]

good advice!!

 

[antsi]

Agree on the take it slow.

Most people live in a fantasy world where life is Guaranteed Safe. It is not pleasant to think about how thin the veneer of civilization is, or how little it takes to make it crumble and revert to a state of nature (Katrina, LA Riots, etc). Most people would rather not think about these things - it's a kind of mental defense system.

If you wife is living in a Guaranteed Safe mental defense system, you won't get anywhere by trying to talk her out of it in one afternoon. This puts you in the position of taking away her safety (however illusory that may be).

I agree with Kludge and Rachel and Melensdad - one step at at time. Don't try to get her invested in preparing for Apocalyptic End of Everything scenarios; start small. "This would be handy if the car broke down in the middle of nowhere." "This would be handy if the recession gets worse." "A wood stove would be nice to have for now, and if energy prices keep going up it may become essential."

Those kind of scenarios are a lot more likely than The Sudden End of Everything, anyhow, and you're not threatening her whole system of coping with life.

 

[techres]

Fear is the enemy of a good marriage and happy wife, so do not be tempted to use it. Never give examples of terrible things and then say, "If only they had a gun!" However, do mention stories in which women did defend themselves and succeeded (only now and then, don't overdue).

Go slow.

Prep without her as is possible. If you two have mad money and she spends it on movies and you spend it on your ammo fort - consider yourself lucky.

Try and keep quiet on the FEMA, New world order talk. Keep up on the family building stuff: gardening, fixing up storage units, camping, family shooting events (i.e. Appleseed), and hiking.

And be ready for your "success" in helping her to come around to take a decade. Seriously.

But that is ok. Get going on what needs done. Make it all work in a family building way, and she will come around.

And do not take offense at her "tin foil hat hubby" jokes. They come with the territory!

 

[Turtle]

You ever talk about hurricane katrina? or 9-11? or maybe just your basic bad tornados that take out whole towns? Try being realistic. A natural disaster could happen any time. Save the government and political stuff for people that are on that page with you. Just my 2cents. Good luck man!

 

[RogerB]

Well Said. Simplificaion is a big key.

hell I can do that, the wife already thinks me a simpleton.

 

[melensdad]

You ever talk about hurricane katrina? or 9-11? or maybe just your basic bad tornados that take out whole towns? Try being realistic. A natural disaster could happen any time. Save the government and political stuff for people that are on that page with you. Just my 2cents. Good luck man!

Respectfully but no. I've always lost those discussions and I finally figured out why. Because they don't make much sense.

What makes more sense is to localize it. Honey, I know Hurricane Katrina will never wipe out our Indiana town, and the odds of a citywide tornado taking us out are minimal, but I really have to wonder about a tornado hitting our block and knocking out power for a week or more. Last year Munster, Griffith and Highland all got hit pretty hard and the residents lost water and power for up to a week.

Or another one is good, but you need to wait for it to appear in your local newspaper: Honey, maybe we don't have to worry about terrorists bombing us or tornadoes blowing us off the map but did you hear about the family a few blocks (miles?) away that lost their house in the fire? If only they had . . .

For food storage, try something like: Honey, when we go shopping I think we should buy a few extra cans and jars of stuff and just put them away. Let's only buy the stuff we already like. But it has a long shelf life so it won't go bad, and if we ever had lean times we can always use them. Every time we go, we should just buy an extra few cans more than we need. This economy is getting pretty bad, Indiana unemployment is at 10% and getting higher each week. Eventually, if we do that, we'll have a modest amount of food. And if one of our friends or relatives loses their job then we can help them out too.

 

[CulpeperMM]

the Lord has blessed me with a wife that understands the seriousness of the predicament the country is in, sees the threat and does not think it is "here to help" with its "change". She is an active participant in planning for some potentially bad scenarios (the best we can, i guess).

Case in point. I wasn't sure how i was going to break to her that we may need gas masks, thinking that would just really scare her. One day she asks me: "don't you think we need some gas masks". She's on the same page. Why do i ever question? especially after she has shown me time and again that as long as i keep my cool, she will keep hers.

Yet, she has a strong faith in the Lord and believes that He will give those that trust in him no more trouble than they can handle. This affords her peace of mind, while preparing for troubling times.

I thank God for my wife. She is strong-willed, doesn't take much crap from me, but will follow my lead as long as she thinks I am doing what I believe is best for our family (and not just my ego). A good wife.

sorry to hi-jack the thread. reading this thread really made me appreciate my wife all the more. so i bragged on her.

 

[smokingman]

There are many good posts with ideas.I really like the take it slow ones.If she is resistant(ie we do not have the money)..take it very slow.Things like a garden."Honey I want fresh tomatoes this year." When I meet Grumpe(my fiance and member here)she owned no firearms,had not shot since she was a kid with her dad,and had no idea anyone on the planet besides me had stocked up on food,and she thought I was a bit nuts at the time for stocking up.Slowly I talked to her about it. Some conversations where shtf types,but quite a few more where on how important I felt it to be as self sufficient as possible. To her I think that was the key.Why would anyone on the planet not want to be self sufficient? Our garden has grown and grown.This year I think it is big enough to provide all the vegtables we will need for next year.I will still buy some things fresh,and get out of season items at the store.
Guess my point is this. I would find it very hard for anyone to not understand that being self sufficient is wise. It saves a ton of money.And can be a great source of pride. It developes pride. There is nothing quite like eating something you grew yourself.
Oh and her not shooting.I fixed it with a 10-22 and a Mosin She loved it.She wanted to be better. We spent quite a bit of time at the range when we first meet.She now owns almost as many guns as I do.She also got her LTC and now always carries(she did not need much to go from "I like to shoot" to "I would feel better if I always carried."
So instead of saying lets prepare for shtf,try lets become more self sufficient.Once you become a little more self sufficient the things you may need for SHTF are quite a bit less,and much easier for her to understand.There is nothing quite like being self sufficient when the shtf