Relationships are built on trust!! if trust does not exist then there can be no relationship!! hence no trust no relationship, so if you do not trust her and it sounds like you might not hence your trying to control her, you will be far better off without her. Cut your losses and look for the one that you can build a relationship with.
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Had some big drama yesterday..
- Thread starter hotfarmboy1
- Start date
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All I can say is IF I'm going somewhere with a guy I don't really know, I'm armed and he knows dang well I'm armed...and someone else is aware of where I'm going, with whom and how long I'll be gone. AND I drive.....little controlling on that. Only happened twice in the last 10 yrs (I don't get out much) though.....
I'm not gonna touch the whole kick her to the curb thing...that's a call only the OP can really make. He's the only one here who knows her and if this is normal or not (I'd hope not)....but I will say life's tooooo short to invite drama in
I'm not gonna touch the whole kick her to the curb thing...that's a call only the OP can really make. He's the only one here who knows her and if this is normal or not (I'd hope not)....but I will say life's tooooo short to invite drama in
Buy her a ring and propose. The future posts that stem from the relationship will make this high school drama look tame.
If you have to work that hard at the basics of a relationship and communicating, you are not in a relationship.
For the record my 15 year old daughter caught someone on FB who pulled similar crap. I made note of it and saw how quickly she nailed it. I asked her exactly how she came to figure it out. She told me and frankly it was simple stuff.
If you have to work that hard at the basics of a relationship and communicating, you are not in a relationship.
For the record my 15 year old daughter caught someone on FB who pulled similar crap. I made note of it and saw how quickly she nailed it. I asked her exactly how she came to figure it out. She told me and frankly it was simple stuff.
EvilleDoug
Master
Where is the OP?
Uh.......yeah!
The entire thing sounds fishy.
By the way, how is she getting to the funeral, and when is it, or has she mentioned that part yet?
Eh, farmboy, she's known him for awhile and she'll be knowing him more after you get wise and split.
Don't buy the whole bit about stalkers and stuff. That is just bs. Getting brave that one.
Just call it from your gut. Don't try to justify her lies because you don't want to see her go. She's already gone.
Don't buy the whole bit about stalkers and stuff. That is just bs. Getting brave that one.
Just call it from your gut. Don't try to justify her lies because you don't want to see her go. She's already gone.
dustjunky2000
Sharpshooter
Funny how love can blind people towards what seems so obvious. My B.S. detector would be on red alert if I were you.
Creepy stalker + guy she doesn't know at all = Facebook friend.
That equation seems to make complete sense.
Dude, nobody is this dense...She wasn't scared of him, she was scared you just found out she's banging another guy.
I'd really like to know if she actually had a friend who passed away or not...Hopefully your dumb "girlfriend" lied about that too and no one was really hurt.
shooter521
Certified Glock Nut
hotfarmboy1
Grandmaster
Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner guys. Been awful busy lately.
A bit of background on this guy. She went out with him once before we started dating. She said she didn't like him more than a friend, esp after she met me. Early on he was always calling her and saying he was going to stop by to see her. I'd try to check her previous calls on her phone and she had always seemed to delete them. Which she already did from this incident as well... And now she has opened up a new email and new FB account and didn't add him either, I just happened to check that, she left her FB logged on when I just got home, lol. We've been having some other probs lately too. Her doc told her she needs to eat healthier, and she's trying to force some stuff I don't like on me. Which is a no no. Plus the house that I live in was my grandparents, and belongs to my parents and aunt and uncle as a family trust. She keeps wanting to change things about the house, including furniture and stuff cause it reminds her of her grandparents and she has bad memories of there. So of course I've gotta fight that cause I grew up here basically and have good memories and like it how it is. Yes I work nights, and she doesn't currently have a job, trying to find one but not much luck. That guy she said she forgot what he looked like, yet she had only seen him around 3-4 months ago. She is pretty forgetful but how can you forget what someone that you are supposedly scared of looks like?? I only let her go cause I was trying to not be controlling, she said how I was acting reminded of her dad, which I think is a good thing, lol. I offered to take her up instead, but she kept arguing that her friend would never send her with someone that would put her in danger. I frankly don't know what to believe. I did see her message him on FB and break all ties with him, and I added something to the msg as well. I just don't really know if she has still contacted him otherwise without me knowing. I am leaning very heavily on the side of breaking it off and telling her to go back to her parents. I'm not happy with her now like I was before and things just haven't felt right the past couple of weeks with all the arguing. I've got another real good friend of mine that's given me the advice to find someone else too. He's met her and I've told him all the probs we've been having. He agrees with you guys. On the age thing I'm 28, but haven't really dated alot. Normally kinda shy and never really had much luck once girls found out how much of my life was work, between my normal job, the farm, and working on cars. She's only 21 and I've noticed lately how immature she actually is, yet she is pushing for marriage. Which at one time I really thought would happen here, but now heavily doubting it.
I do know trust is a big thing in a relationship, it is one of the most important things to me. I hate liars!! And that's why I'm trying to find out if she's lying or not.
I just know I need a break right now. Between this crap with her, my work, working on my car and finding even more wrong, and a neighbor that's a close family friend dying on Friday. I'm running very high on the stress meter and don't know how much more I can take.
Oh yeah one other thing that makes me think she's lying. The friend of hers that was supposedly in the hospital, she told me died. But we never went to see her, and she hasn't said anything about going to any funeral or anything. So that makes me reallly wonder.
A bit of background on this guy. She went out with him once before we started dating. She said she didn't like him more than a friend, esp after she met me. Early on he was always calling her and saying he was going to stop by to see her. I'd try to check her previous calls on her phone and she had always seemed to delete them. Which she already did from this incident as well... And now she has opened up a new email and new FB account and didn't add him either, I just happened to check that, she left her FB logged on when I just got home, lol. We've been having some other probs lately too. Her doc told her she needs to eat healthier, and she's trying to force some stuff I don't like on me. Which is a no no. Plus the house that I live in was my grandparents, and belongs to my parents and aunt and uncle as a family trust. She keeps wanting to change things about the house, including furniture and stuff cause it reminds her of her grandparents and she has bad memories of there. So of course I've gotta fight that cause I grew up here basically and have good memories and like it how it is. Yes I work nights, and she doesn't currently have a job, trying to find one but not much luck. That guy she said she forgot what he looked like, yet she had only seen him around 3-4 months ago. She is pretty forgetful but how can you forget what someone that you are supposedly scared of looks like?? I only let her go cause I was trying to not be controlling, she said how I was acting reminded of her dad, which I think is a good thing, lol. I offered to take her up instead, but she kept arguing that her friend would never send her with someone that would put her in danger. I frankly don't know what to believe. I did see her message him on FB and break all ties with him, and I added something to the msg as well. I just don't really know if she has still contacted him otherwise without me knowing. I am leaning very heavily on the side of breaking it off and telling her to go back to her parents. I'm not happy with her now like I was before and things just haven't felt right the past couple of weeks with all the arguing. I've got another real good friend of mine that's given me the advice to find someone else too. He's met her and I've told him all the probs we've been having. He agrees with you guys. On the age thing I'm 28, but haven't really dated alot. Normally kinda shy and never really had much luck once girls found out how much of my life was work, between my normal job, the farm, and working on cars. She's only 21 and I've noticed lately how immature she actually is, yet she is pushing for marriage. Which at one time I really thought would happen here, but now heavily doubting it.
I do know trust is a big thing in a relationship, it is one of the most important things to me. I hate liars!! And that's why I'm trying to find out if she's lying or not.
I just know I need a break right now. Between this crap with her, my work, working on my car and finding even more wrong, and a neighbor that's a close family friend dying on Friday. I'm running very high on the stress meter and don't know how much more I can take.
Oh yeah one other thing that makes me think she's lying. The friend of hers that was supposedly in the hospital, she told me died. But we never went to see her, and she hasn't said anything about going to any funeral or anything. So that makes me reallly wonder.
EvilleDoug
Master
I got nothing.
You have trust issues, she has maturity issues. Send her packing and move on.
You have trust issues, she has maturity issues. Send her packing and move on.
Blue Tile Spook
Master
HFB, being a bit older than you, I would highly recommend your plan to take another look at the relationship.
I seem to always have enough "bad things" to make decisions about in life without me creating more "bad things" to cause me more problems (if that makes sense). Basically, don't create more problems for yourself than what life throws at you.
I seem to always have enough "bad things" to make decisions about in life without me creating more "bad things" to cause me more problems (if that makes sense). Basically, don't create more problems for yourself than what life throws at you.
HFB, I don't want to sound rude or lack empathy, but you are trying to control her. Look at the items I've bolded in your post. Believe me, no one who is of sane mind and has any self esteem likes to be controlled.
You may not normally be a controlling person, and she may just bring this out in you, but in this situation you are clearly trying to control her. You just don't trust her.
This is not going to get better.
You know it is easy for us to tell you to ditch her, but it's obvious you have strong feelings for her. But, the advice remains the same... you need to ditch her and cut ties. Hang out with friends. Go shooting with your friends here on INGO. But, you need to say goodbye.
You don't want to go through life trying to control women, especially one that you may share the rest of your life with. Either you've got a problem you need to work through or she is bringing it out in you. Either way, she is not a healthy person for you to be in a relationship with.
You've already dug up enough dirt.
Do you want her to not hookup with people on Facebook because you are sneaking onto her account and looking over her shoulder? OR, do you want to have a relationship with someone who is mature enough to know that a commitment means just that... a commitment?
Good luck, buddy. This is just one unhealthy relationship that you need to end.
Of course, this is just my opinion.
hotfarmboy1
Grandmaster
On the FB message thing. She wanted me to see what she wrote him to break the ties. And wanted me to add something as well to help get him to leave her alone. I don't normally check her phone. I've done it once when she had told me he was calling. I wanted to see how many times. But she had already erased them, as if she didn't want me to see. Even though I had never checked before. I try to trust her, but its things like that that make me not want to. I've been praying to God for guidance on this one, and think I'm going to break it off, just trying to decide how and when.
Dude, no one can be this clueless. SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU.
Read those bold parts a few times; let them soak in.
How many guys has she been with to where she wouldn't remember going out with a guy 90 days ago?
BTW, you've only been going out 4 months and she lives with you and is trying to turn it into her place or did I misunderstand you?
If I'm right with my assumption, that could be a bit of the problem right there.
I can't believe no one has said this already.
Pics, worthless without!
Sorry had to try to make ya laugh.
Do what you need to do. Only advice worth spit is the advice you are ready to take.
Obviously she has graduated suma *** loudly from the sneaky bimbo academy.
Probably because she had a father that checked up on her through her phone records and internet access. You are so outta your league if that is the case.
Personally to avoid over reacting because you just might be wrong with the next one I suggest a good spyware program. Pony up the $ don't just try the demo which is useless. Find your answers and trust but cut the cards.
Until the I do's are done it is your house ,your right to not be made a fool of.
Pics, worthless without!
Sorry had to try to make ya laugh.
Do what you need to do. Only advice worth spit is the advice you are ready to take.
Obviously she has graduated suma *** loudly from the sneaky bimbo academy.
Probably because she had a father that checked up on her through her phone records and internet access. You are so outta your league if that is the case.
Personally to avoid over reacting because you just might be wrong with the next one I suggest a good spyware program. Pony up the $ don't just try the demo which is useless. Find your answers and trust but cut the cards.
Until the I do's are done it is your house ,your right to not be made a fool of.
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