Great posts guys.
When I started this thread, my intent was that I am trying to figure out how I can condition myself mentally to be more prepared to do what needs to be done should the situation arise.
I rarely pack, and that only when I am going to the big city with my family to protect. I realize that not carrying most of the time is not good training for the times that I do,
I am just trying to be more sure of myself, because like some have said here, If I pause at a critical time, I or those that I love could end up dead.
Aside from realistic training (I've heard joining the miltary would be good realistic training ) or real-life experiences, the only way to condition your mind to be prepared to kill in defense of yourself or others is to JUST TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE READY TO. Over & over as necessary until you have NO DOUBTS you could do it if you had to.
Just decide to be ready to do it if the time comes. Honestly, that's the best you can hope for until you've had to do it.
You could also try to figure out the reason(s) that you would hesitate in that situation then justify those erroneous reasons away.
For example, if you are afraid of legal repercussions then learn the self-defense laws & make sure you respond within those guidelines. If it's a religious reason then know that most religions allow you to take a life in self-defense.
If you are just repulsed by the thought of hurting another person, NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION & CAN'T OVERCOME THAT FEELING (there really are people that feel that way), then as many others have said, maybe carrying a defensive weapon isn't right for you as you could be in more danger than you would be otherwise.