Do you spank your kids?

[originalhonkey]

never had to spank mine yet but my wife has. if i just look at mine the right way she almost gets weak in the knees. got mine fooled plus since she knows what they are she tries real hard not to get them. ive been blessed with a good kid daddys little girl

will say this 75% of the kids i see out with there parents down here in greenwood dont need spanked. they need beat. i cant believe the way kids talk and act out in public now and the parents will be next to em and do nothing.the only thing i see parents do now is the annoying 1,2,3 or the please stop as the kids kicking and screaming on the floor. the parents should be beat to. hey bumb @$$ obviously that doesnt work your kids are 6 or 7 and still acting like a 2year old. i got an idea instead of saying please or asking them to do it like they should have the right to say no.do the rest of us a favor and take them home and out of the store there making a scene in and bust that :moon: and let them know thats not going to fly. just my

 

[schafe]

Our daughter will be 35 this year, and yes, we did spank her occasionally. There is a long period of time in a childs life when the physical here and now is all that they understand, or respond to. During that period, a parent must be able to obtain cooperation of their child, since sometimes it means their life. eg. "don't run into the street". Incidently.. she is a beautiful young woman, not at all violent, and we couldn't be more proud of her.

 

[LLDJR]

He's 12 years old now and I have not had to spank him yet, the big goal is to develop respect and live up to any threats that you make.

I don't scream or yell, its all face to face, eye to eye.

 

[shooter521]

the only thing i see parents do now is the annoying 1,2,3

Dude. "1, 2, 3" works, as long as the kid has been taught to recognize that after "3" comes serious unpleasantness. I normally don't have to get past "ONE" before the boy figures out I'm not playin'.

There is a long period of time in a childs life when the physical here and now is all that they understand, or respond to. During that period, a parent must be able to obtain cooperation of their child, since sometimes it means their life.

While physical punishment does have its place, I believe that place is limited, and the need for it fades quickly as the child develops mentally and can actually be reasoned with.

live up to any threats that you make.

This has been a difficult thing for my wife and me to do. We HATE punishing our son by taking away privileges and special trips or treats (mostly because we enjoy them, too), but 1) that seems to be the most effective means of influencing his behavior (taking away toys doesn't always work since he has so many), and 2) we need him to understand that we don't "just threaten" or tell him things to hear the sound of our own voices.

 

[E5RANGER375]

never had to spank mine yet but my wife has. if i just look at mine the right way she almost gets weak in the knees. got mine fooled plus since she knows what they are she tries real hard not to get them. ive been blessed with a good kid daddys little girl

will say this 75% of the kids i see out with there parents down here in greenwood dont need spanked. they need beat. i cant believe the way kids talk and act out in public now and the parents will be next to em and do nothing.the only thing i see parents do now is the annoying 1,2,3 or the please stop as the kids kicking and screaming on the floor. the parents should be beat to. hey bumb @$$ obviously that doesnt work your kids are 6 or 7 and still acting like a 2year old. i got an idea instead of saying please or asking them to do it like they should have the right to say no.do the rest of us a favor and take them home and out of the store there making a scene in and bust that :moon: and let them know thats not going to fly. just my

i totaly agree. I wanna beat so many parents when i go to he store. my daughter knows not to act like a brat. she understands what behaving good means and realizes there are rewards for good behavior. she gets new toys and fun activities regularly and she knows if those priveledges are gonna keep coming then she has to earn them because they can easily be taken away. a lot of kids are smarter than their parents. a kid will play you every time if you let them.

 

[SavageEagle]

I quit doing time-out's LONG ago. It's either "WHOOP" or 1,2,3(,4,5) depending on the situation. My kids know I won't hesitate to whoop them in public or at home so the 1.2.3 usually works just fine. The "stare" usually works pretty well as well. If all three fail, I go for my belt. By the time I get it most of the way undone whatever was going on stops. If not, well...

 

[E5RANGER375]

Dude. "1, 2, 3" works, as long as the kid has been taught to recognize that after "3" comes serious unpleasantness. I normally don't have to get past "ONE" before the boy figures out I'm not playin'.

yep i use that too. first time i did though i couldnt help but bust out laughing, cause i started to count 1, 2, 3..... and my daughter goes .. 4, 5, 6, 7 wahahahahahaha. still is funny as hell to this day. kids are hillarious.

 

[SavageEagle]

Oh, I did see one guy in Gander Mountain a while back with his two sons. His sons spun the sunglasses thing around REALLY fast sending glasses FLYING! They started to run, but the father took two steps, grabbed one and WHOOPED him REAL good. Just as I was about to applaud, the lady behind the counter said something to the effect, you don't whoop kids! Get outta my store!

My jaw dropped!

I told the other lady, if that was my kids, I'd have whooped em too. The other lady steps in and says Then do it at home and not in public. I said I'm not waiting til later. They do something wrong like that, they get it then and there. Don't like it? Call CPS. They'll laugh and say ok we'll look into it and that'll be the end of it. Trust me, I know. I about left without buying the cleaning solution, but it wasn't store policy, just some yuppy behind the counter.

 

[ihateiraq]

i dont spank my daughter, but ill spank someone elses. as long as shes 20-40 years old and has been naughty.

 

[IndyMonkey]

i dont spank my daughter, but ill spank someone elses. as long as shes 20-40 years old and has been naughty.

 

[Rookie]

My dad had a saying, "When you feel the heat, you see the light."

I live by the same motto.

 

[JetGirl]

I was a spanker until mine was about age 6 or so when "privileges" became more important than a butt swat.
I'd give a warning and a second chance. Next offense got no warning and a swat, followed by an "I told you what would happen".

Before I ever had a kid, I swore I'd never spank my own after growing up part of my life with a mean drunk who didn't know the difference between "spank" and "oh-for-the-luv-o'-gawd-yer-killin'-that-kid".

 

[Bigum1969]

We don't spank our son (19 months) at this point. We've been able to get the point across with time-outs so far.

My strategy thus far is to make sure he knows we love him, and because of that it makes him very upset when we let him know that we're unhappy with his actions. Time-outs and a stern "No" do the job just fine.

The problem is that this approach takes a LOT of time and work! Time-outs right now are lasting 90 seconds, and you have to stand there the whole time so he doesn't crawl away. But the hardest part is showing him enough love and attention to make these punishments effective.

So overall, I think constant spankings are both a cause and a symptom of lazy parenting.

.

While physical punishment does have its place, I believe that place is limited, and the need for it fades quickly as the child develops mentally and can actually be reasoned with.



This has been a difficult thing for my wife and me to do. We HATE punishing our son by taking away privileges and special trips or treats (mostly because we enjoy them, too), but 1) that seems to be the most effective means of influencing his behavior (taking away toys doesn't always work since he has so many), and 2) we need him to understand that we don't "just threaten" or tell him things to hear the sound of our own voices.

I agree with you both.

I've never really been impressed seeing parents opening a can of whoop arse on a kid. I'm not saying there isn't a place, but to go from the (child's) mistake to a whooping seems to me like perhaps lazy parenting.

It does take time to establish boundaries with kids. It does take a lot of time to implement progressive discipline. It does take discipline to "do what you say you're going to do". Sometimes it would be easier to just yell or spank, but it might not be the best solution overall.

When my son pushes boundaries, we take things away. He hates it and will cry and possibly ruin whatever activity we are doing, but it helps him learn. He knows that we are going to do what we say.

We also strongly believe in positive reinforcement. We expect him to behave, do well in school and be respectful, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't go out of our way to make sure he knows we love and appreciate his good behavior. The power of pleasing his parents seems more potent to him than the fear of losing something or being otherwise punished.

 

[SavageEagle]

I agree with you both.

I've never really been impressed seeing parents opening a can of whoop arse on a kid. I'm not saying there isn't a place, but to go from the (child's) mistake to a whooping seems to me like perhaps lazy parenting.

I can very much agree with this. However, a parent can only teach a child so much before the child goes to the mentality of "I just don't care". Expecially wehn they like to act out.

 

[ihateiraq]

taking pics would not be prudent. there were lessons to be learned from abu ghraib. no pictures=it never happened.

 

[KDUBCR250]

I was a spanker until mine was about age 6 or so when "privileges" became more important than a butt swat.
I'd give a warning and a second chance. Next offense got no warning and a swat, followed by an "I told you what would happen".
quote]
This.

 

[Expat]

I spanked the boy whenever he needed it. He is now 24 so, he hasn't gotten one in a long time. As far as being aggressive, I would say just the opposite. He is way more peaceful than I am. He doesn't like firearms, has never been in a fight in his life, leans a bit to the left (at least of me). So, to me, the premise is wrong.

 

[KDUBCR250]

I was a spanker until mine was about age 6 or so when "privileges" became more important than a butt swat.
I'd give a warning and a second chance. Next offense got no warning and a swat, followed by an "I told you what would happen".

This.

 

[mk2ja]

Both; which he gets is largely situation dependent, but we try to use non-physical punishments (time-outs, losing privileges, losing toys to "impound," etc.) whenever possible.

Very well said. That was always the case with me growing up, and I saw my big sister doing the same with her kids. Probably the same thing I'll do when I have kids.

I do have at least one friend at school who was never spanked and is adamantly opposed to it. Her mother slapped her in anger once, so she automatically associated "spanking" with "hitting in anger". That is one thing to remember: a spanking must never be done out of anger. Just like you don't shoot the robber when he starts running away, the punishment for disobedience must be exacted in such a way as to demonstrate, "Because you have done X, you are being punished with Y."

My know my sister would even have a talk with her kids before spanking them, if that was deemed necessary, that would go something like this:
Rachel: What did you do?
Child: X
Rachel: Was that something you should have done?
Child: No.
Rachel: So what have you earned by doing X?
Child: A spanking.

Even at only 6 and 8, her kids are so well-behaved now. Of course, the fact that my sister died suddenly a year ago (actually, just 6 days shy of a year as of today) really affected their behavior as they struggled to adapt and heal, but even so, those precious kids are so much better behaved than many kids I see when I'm out and about.

 

[rhart]

That explains why my wife is so aggressive!

Seriously, I think each kid is different, I think some benefit from it, others will be damaged from it. I could crush my daughter with a mean look. She never needed it. But, some are way more spirited than others. Me, I needed it, my brother yes, my sister no way! And no I dont think it has to do with male female, just coincidence in these examples.