Dealing with an anti-gun family.

[OldHoosier62]

All it takes is "one time." I personally don't want kids even seeing guns. Kids today are not the kids of eras past. They freak out, even the 20-30 year old "kids" compared to those from eras where guns were normal and you dared not touch a gun for fear of punishment.

While I'm "pro-gun," I likely would make a somewhat of a scene, though not as dramatic as your son. I don't care what folks say about their "kids behaving," today's kids are just different.

Sorry again, but you are not much of an improvement over the OP's son and daughter-in-law. Kids today will act properly if they are educated and held to a higher standard. The passivity of todays parents cause the kids issues, NOT the kids themselves.

Remember folks, we are our kids PARENTS-not their friends. Children inherently want guidance and boundaries, current parenting norms do not allow that...and unfortunately society is paying the price for it.

OH

 

[BlueEagle]

Yeah, this seems a little ridiculous. If I'm "afraid" of guns, why would I pick one up, sprint with it into another room, and THEN leave the house? Seems to me that the rational thing to do would be to just go ahead and leave.

I mean, if I walk into a room of my house and there is a spitting cobra sitting on the rug in the middle of the floor....I'm just going to close the door, change my underwear, and call animal control. I'm NOT going to run in, pick it up, and set it on the TV before leaving.

The irrationality of some people is just astounding....and unfortunately, most of them never man up enough to have an actual, meaningful conversation and exchange ideas on the subject. I hate it when some sheeple just recites dogma and mantra back at me when I try to hold an intelligent conversation with them.

"Guns are BAAAAAAAAAD!"

Sorry it has to be your family, though.

 

[BlueEagle]

Oops, double post.

 

[billybob44]

Sorry again, but you are not much of an improvement over the OP's son and daughter-in-law. Kids today will act properly if they are educated and held to a higher standard. The passivity of todays parents cause the kids issues, NOT the kids themselves.

Remember folks, we are our kids PARENTS-not their friends. Children inherently want guidance and boundaries, current parenting norms do not allow that...and unfortunately society is paying the price for it.

OH

Another +1 to you also Old 62.
Some 25 years or so ago, I Coached/Asst. Coached my Son's in local baseball leagues. Started with T-Ball through Senior Babe Ruth. I and the Kids had good times, and it taught all of us a lot. I "retired" from this volunteer experience 10-12 years ago.(Worked with two Sons)
I can say that I was glad to leave when I did--the Kids did NOT change-BUT the parents sure did.
As you said Old 62, guidance,boundaries, and may I add responsibilities for their actions, have SURE changed. They seem to play the "Blame Game" rather than own up to their own actions.

 

[ljadayton]

I'm sorry to read your son reacted that way. As a parent, if I would like to think I'd have a different reaction if I was in your son's shoes. I am not so I can't really truely judge his reaction. IMHO however, he knows you, he should be aware of your typical gun handling techniques and shouldn't have made a big deal out of it. Calmly asking you about it would seem much more appropriate to me then running around with the gun screaming. And keeping children away from guns instead of educating them on proper safety will not keep them safe in the long run. My son asks me about my guns even though he doesn't have an overwhelming desire to do anything with them. He knows basic safety and I'm comfortable he'd do the right thing if he found a gun somewhere.


edit: I forgot to say anything on the Grandpa's bad part. I hope that wasn't meant the way it sounds. Whatever differences I've had with my dad, he's still my dad and still my son't PaPa and I wouldn't say anything to damage what little relationship they have.

 

[DustyDawg48]

OP, that sucks your family is like that...and I'm sensing there is much more stuff than just grampa liking guns. You can't pick your family, however, and there are so many ways to handle it that it's not even funny. Thankfully my entire family is pro-gun and pro-carry; my mom gave me 'the look' when she found out I carry in church but unless they tell me not to I will continue to or stop going.

How the heck did you end up with so many anti-gunners in your family? That hurts! No amount of education or anything is going to sway them; they will have to come to terms with that on their own. You can go all Rick Flair on them "Whether you like it or don't like it, learn to love it 'cause that's the way it is! WHOO!" Might not make for pleasant family reunions but at the end of the day your kids are their own separate family living to please themselves and you should be the same way too. Yes the gun shouldn't have been left out, hindsight is 20/20 and that is your fault if you could call it that. The way your wife and your kids reacted is beyond respectful and understanding; again I'm betting there is something much more deep-seated than just 'grampa having a gun in the house'. Many liberals HATE their conservative fathers, not saying that is what the root cause is but most don't freak like that without something else helping.

All my kids know I carry from my 22 year old college girl, through my 14 year old pre-high school girl to my 4 year old boy. They all know the rules of guns and my boy knows that if he wants to see one he just asks and I'll show them to him. If you ask him, he'll tell you that you always check to make sure 'No bullzetz are in the gunths.'

 

[PistolBob]

When my children were young and living at home, we always had guns. We went to the shooting ranges a couple times a month for an afternoon of family fun. We never left our guns laying out. They had a special place in the home and that is where they stayed. We never had an incident, and my kids knew if they TOUCHED a gun they got to clean it...they hated that.

To the OP...if you want to have a relationship with your grand children, you need to talk with your daughter in law and your son about this whole thing. You need to let them vent, hear them out, and then all of you come to some kind of happy medium with everybody. It might be easy, it might be hard, but if you want to be part of their lives you need to work this out with everyone now.

Good luck with it, I can't imagine not being able to hang out with my grand children.

 

[wizard_of_ahs]

Sorry again, but you are not much of an improvement over the OP's son and daughter-in-law. Kids today will act properly if they are educated and held to a higher standard. The passivity of todays parents cause the kids issues, NOT the kids themselves.

Remember folks, we are our kids PARENTS-not their friends. Children inherently want guidance and boundaries, current parenting norms do not allow that...and unfortunately society is paying the price for it.

OH

+2 & +2 to Mr. Habib

CM, didn't your son grow up in YOUR house ??? Seems he would be familiar with firearms. I, my wife, my son and his wife and kids all like to shooting. My kids, my grand kids and now great grand kids are aware there are guns in my home and usually on my hip !!

Today's kids are no different the when I was a kid, the difference is in the parenting

IMHO

 

[The Bubba Effect]

Sorry to hear it went that way.

If some anti gun person in my family did that to me, I would at the least take them off to the side soon and in private and in all seriousness reprimand them for touching my firearm. I would make it very clear to them that firearms are serious business and that if they see one of my guns out in the future, they are to let me know and I will move it.

I would make the point very clear that a holstered firearm sitting on a hutch is much less likely to hurt anyone than the same firearm being frantically moved from room to room by someone who is emotionally shook up.

I also might start the conversation by punching him in the ear, but everybody's family is different, so your mileage may vary.

 

[Kelevra TAR-21]

You need to put your son in his place. He came to your house. It is your house, your guns and your rules. If my son grabbed one of my guns and started acting like a skirt. He would have got physically thrown out of my house. Until he said he was sorry.

 

[ElsiePeaRN]

You need to put your son in his place. He came to your house. It is your house, your guns and your rules. If my son grabbed one of my guns and started acting like a skirt. He would have got physically thrown out of my house. Until he said he was sorry.

This is an approach one would use if one wanted to communicate that you value your guns more than you value your relationships with your family.

...if you want to have a relationship with your grand children, you need to talk with your daughter in law and your son about this whole thing. You need to let them vent, hear them out, and then all of you come to some kind of happy medium with everybody. It might be easy, it might be hard, but if you want to be part of their lives you need to work this out with everyone now.

Good luck with it, I can't imagine not being able to hang out with my grand children.

^^ This is mo better.^^

 

[Kelevra TAR-21]

This is an approach one would use if one wanted to communicate that you value your guns more than you value your relationships with your family.



I don't see where this has anything to do with what you said. The man came into his house and acted like a fool. He needs to be corrected. You don't let your children walk all over you. That is one reason why society is in such bad shape. No one corrects their children, they just make excuses and let them do what they want.

 

[ElsiePeaRN]

I don't see where this has anything to do with what you said.

Not surprising.

The man came into his house and acted like a fool.

True, but "the man" is his son. His son was maybe overreacting, but out of concern for the safety of his children.

He needs to be corrected.

Or maybe heard, understood and then persuaded.

You don't let your children walk all over you. That is one reason why society is in such bad shape. No one corrects their children, they just make excuses and let them do what they want.

This "child" is a grown man with children of his own and was acting in the best interest of his children as he understood it. Perhaps far too emotional and went overboard, but I don't think a whooping is a good option here.

 

[windellmc]

You need to put your son in his place. He came to your house. It is your house, your guns and your rules. If my son grabbed one of my guns and started acting like a skirt. He would have got physically thrown out of my house. Until he said he was sorry.

I don't know if you have grown kids or not but my guess is if you do they are not the type to grab the gun and run around screaming.

I think the whole incident is the effect of modern society. The anti-gun mom probably explains the son's behavior and therein lies the problem with today's kids and the kids raised over the last 40 years myself included. In a lot of cases the mom runs the show and dad just sits there and takes it. Well that is not how it is supposed to be but a society that tends to punish men (both financially and in terms of getting to raise their own kids) for divorce has a way of turning men into cowards in front of their own wives. I am seeing a lot of that in this thread even from the pro gun people.

 

[patience0830]

He's your son. Whats up w/that?

My boys both know better than to behave like that. SOMETHING went awry a long time before your son had kids and brought them to visit.

I wasn't there and won't lay blame at anyone in particulars feet,
but someone didn't communicate well at some time in the past.

Good luck. You'll need it.

 

[DarkRose]

Sorry to hear this happened, especially with an adult son...

My son is almost 4. I don't carry very often, but after the first couple times, when I do, he doesn't even talk about it anymore, we had a little chat about what we talk about in public, and he got it.
The only time he's said something lately was when I put on a different gun in a different holster and he wasn't used to it... One reminder, and not another word was said, even including a whole dinner with slow service at Texas Roadhouse.

He seems to be off to a good start on the "absorbing gun education".
Teach them young, teach them right.

 

[Hooker]

Is this how he reacts when he sees a gun hanging from the hip of an LEO? His issue is obviously not just with guns, but with "grandpa" and guns. If he was trying to impress his children with the idea that guns are dangerous, he failed miserably with his own immaturity.

Regardless of how old he is, he needs a refresher about how to act in your house when he is there.

 

[.40caltrucker]

All it takes is "one time." I personally don't want kids even seeing guns. Kids today are not the kids of eras past. They freak out, even the 20-30 year old "kids" compared to those from eras where guns were normal and you dared not touch a gun for fear of punishment.

While I'm "pro-gun," I likely would make a somewhat of a scene, though not as dramatic as your son. I don't care what folks say about their "kids behaving," today's kids are just different.

My kids are 5&6 they see my guns all the time and have their own BB guns. They know I am always carrying to protect them from anyone who would want to do us harm. They have also shot my .22 rifle and .22 pistols. (I'll wait till their bigger to let them shoot the .303 and .40 Glock 27) They have fun when we're shooting and don't have much to say about it when we're not. They also watch me clean them and I strapped my Walther P22 on my sons side one day and his face lit up. "Look just like you Daddy"

Why would I hide a perfectly legal right I have, that is ingrained in our country and Constitution from them like it's bad?

 

[ljadayton]

I'm still sorry this happened but I admit I used it as a teachable moment for MY son about what he would do if he saw a gun in different situations. And he passed with flying colors

 

[gunman41mag]

I agree.

With the exception of this one time it is always locked in the safe with all my others. I had just finished cleaning the gun minutes before they arrived and it never was more than arms reach from me the whole time which is why I knew it wasn't loaded and why I hadn't locked it up yet. Actually, the magazine was in the safe.

I taught my son to NEVER touch my gun, it's not a toy, My gun always has the FRAME MOUNTED SAFETY engaged, & It's always out of sight