Accused Child Molester's Life Ruined

[Sgt Rock]

As a teacher, I'll tell you one thing for CERTAIN, in cases of reported abuse, sexual or other-wise, the school AND the prosecutors will initially believe the child. We're talking probably 100% of the time. The teacher's career is over. Being acquitted means nothing except he wont be going back to jail. If he was arrested for child molestation, he's done. No school system will touch him. Sad, but true.

 

[kickbacked]

Playing? Yeah.....I'm not putting my hands on a 12 year old girl that's not my child. As I've never had the slightest desire to do so, I just find it strange. I'm sure others don't share my perspective, but whatever.

Agreed

 

[IndySSD]

We have created a culture of panicking, paranoid hysteria when it comes to kids. You can't offer the slightest kindness to any child not your own without opening yourself to attack by someone who sees a child molester behind every blade of grass. We live in a nation where folks will walk around a lost child who's separated from their parent rather than try to help them out, for fear that Chris Hansen is hiding in the bushes with a camera crew.

It's sad that the "Freedom of the press" is such that TV stations can run stories that can ruin a persons life with no recourse but a 12 year old kid who makes an off the cuff remark about the president on facebook gets interrogated by SS.

My cousin forces her 12-year-old son to go to the ladies' room with her because she's terrified that some creep will grab him in the men's room. My mother doesn't want my nephews to go to the playground 50 yards from my brother's back porch by themselves, EVER, for the same reason. Never mind that both situations are going to get mighty weird when the kids are 17 years old, everybody knows that everyone else is a pedophile who hasn't been caught yet.

This is exactly the type of thing that has led to the [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dfx73Z6fhbc&feature=channel_video_title"]"Pussification"[/ame] of our nation. (I highly recommend watching or listening to the video linked, it's literally mindset altering).

We need stronger community ties, community leaders and more open relationships with our neighbors. Children learn by example and we have so few good examples today in our neighborhoods and HOMES for that matter.

And that is why things have changed. In the old days you held a door open for a lady, that is the way I was raised.

Now - it might be construed as being male chauvinist and implying she can not open the door for herself.

This is like a political correctness gone inside. Humans are personal beings, we need the contact. Kids do also to an extent.

Where is the line drawn? We have all see 'touchy' people and it makes some of us uncomfortable but we tolerate it at times because we know that person means no harm with it.

Molestation of children is UNACCEPTABLE PERIOD.

I firmly believe that bullets are cheap and after a few 'capital' consequences, 85% of these occurrences would cease and then teachers would/could go back to being teachers. Especially since parents these days don't parent.....

This is a bad case, if my daughter came to me with this and she said it was true. I would probably be in jail for beating the living crap out of someone.

My daughter has never lied to me about anything like this so I would have to believe her, so the case made above is valid.

Now, how much does anyone want to bet that the accuser has a history that would make her trustworthiness questionable in the first place?

This is a tough one for sure and valid points are being made except for the bickering and such...

carry on..




REP



Edit: One last thing, since the officer did not investigate properly, what consequences for her/him?

Pretty much how I feel on the subject. Rep inbound.

I just wonder how we have gotten to a point where a soccer coach is afraid to give a kid a hug after he scores the goal that wins the championship. I am not a child molester, so I don't concern myself with such in depth scenarios as fear of contact with a person outside an age frame.

Pretty much the same thing here but unless you're close with the family, I don't touch other peoples children (sometimes we "High Five" or "Fist Bump") but I have other families that my wife are friends with and we were there for their children being born and they call us Uncle and Aunt. They don't leave our house and we don't leave their houses without hugs all around, Mom and Dad included.

There is nothing sexual about it.

I wouldn't appreciate an adult male picking up or getting too close to my daughter, so I follow the same protocol with others' children.

I can see where you're coming from on this but I think it's based on the relationship that exists. Say you and I served in the military together, we work together and I was there when your daughter was born, been to every birthday party with my family and we've all spent many a day together. Would you still be concerned if your daughter hugged me when I left?

I believe there is a point at which "physical contact" is a normal part of almost any personal relationship. From a boss/employee handshake to a lifelong friend hugging and giving my wife a kiss on the cheek.

It's a double-edged sword and it sucks.

While I agree, I still think there is a difference between backlash for valid complaints vs. backlash for slander.

This is sick, first I have no tolerance for child molesters PERIOD. That being said I have no tolerance for LIARS either. He should be allowed to sue the parents of the accuser for the legal fees.

Plus, if I was him, I would not want to would I work for that school district again.


Where was the sex in this? A comment can cost you 40 years?

This is what this nation is becoming...selfish..what is in it for me.

The accuser has NO consequences for her actions? None? She can destroy ones life and "oh Well" no big deal?

BS

Watch the new on TV in the evening. Any time the police pick someone up, the news people already pronounce them as guilty. No trial needed. Athlete accused of doing anything off the court, guilty even if proven innocent.

Pretty sad that in so many times, the innocent get hung before the trial, and the truly guilty get set free to do their evil over and over.

That's called "playing" and it's what adults used to do with kids before everyone automatically assumed they were molesting them.

Years before I was born, my father was involved in youth baseball coaching. He coached the 9-12 year old group and worked closely with the local high school coaches to spot and develop talent. Needless to say, he coached me and my friends as well. He coached kids from split homes and kids who literally had never met their father. He would bring watermelon and sodas to camps and practices. He would even go as far to drive out to the country to pick kids up who had a mother that worked swing shift so they could make a game. And it wasn't because he liked to win either. I shudder to guess how he would be perceived today.

It's the lack of people like your father that has led to the steady decline of the productivity of our youth..... enrollment in organized sports is down, participation in extra curricular activities is at an all time low yet video game sales are through the freaking roof.

We need more people in our communities to stand up and be good role models for our young men and women like your father was.

 

[Rookie]

Not directed at me, of course, but as I also trust in that Bible...

"A good name is to be more desired than great wealth" Proverbs 22:1a

Whether I trust in myself being around children is, in this case, irrelevant. If no responsible adult (preferably a parent) is around watching those kids with me, I don't so much as shake their hand for anything short of keeping them safe from harm.

Speaking as a future preacher specifically, if my reputation is even falsely ruined, I would not be able to pursue preaching. It's not a matter of pride, but of the value of your reputation and mine is worth a lot to me. It's not worth giving a child a pat on the back because he scored a goal, much as he might deserve it, if the end result is the utter annihilation of my trustworthiness.

Bingo.
Since I know for a fact that nothing will happen, I'm not afraid of that. What I am afraid of, is lies that can easily be fabricated. I'm a father of three girls. My girls know that friends can't sleep over unless I'm at work (I work midnights). Am I afraid that I'll get the sudden irresistible urge to jump into bed with my daughter's friend? No. What I am afraid of is my daughters friend fabricating a story. The result of the lie? Thousands of dollars spent defending my innocence and my family being dragged, right along with me, through hell.

I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes, but I have witnessed this first hand on two separate occasions. First was my brother in law who spent three months in jail. His daughter's mother got mad at him and accused him of molesting his two year old daughter. During his police interview he was asked if he ever bathed his daughter. He answered yes (what parent doesn't). He was then asked if he ever touched his daughter's genitals. He answered that it's necessary to do so when cleaning her. Off to jail he went. Bail was set higher than anyone could afford for three months and then finally lowered. Attorney fees were roughly 8k. On the day of the trail, the prosecutor stands up and says, to the effect, "the mother lied about everything. My bad".
Second was my neighbor. He had a wife and four children. Out of the kindness of his heart, he decided to take his two nieces in. They didn't appreciate the rules he set so they claimed he was molesting them at night. 20k in attorney fees later, they finally had enough evidence to prove they were lying.

Call me paranoid, but it's easier to avoid the problem than to defend the accusations.

 

[Fletch]

Call me paranoid, but it's easier to avoid the problem than to defend the accusations.

Neither would be necessary if more folks fought back against the orgy of hysteria and handed out chill pills in their spare time.

 

[philagothon]

For most of my life I have been the type that would have hung the guy at the mere accusation, I have since learned my lesson. Almost a decade ago, the girl I was dating spread rumors through our workplace that I had threatened to rape her. Fortunately, she never actually pressed charges and everyone in our workplace knew she had a reputation of being a liar. They also knew who I am, and what I stand for and that I would never do anything like that. Turns out she just wanted to get back with her previous boyfriend and wanted to look like she had just cause for leaving me. I got a wedding invitation, but just didn't feel like going.

On another note, I have always loved kids. It is perhaps a cruel twist of fate that my wife and I will likely not be able to have our own (we are looking at adopting though). I became a Christian at the age of 19 and got involved with the youth and children's ministries right away. I had a big tough guy look, but the kids always saw right through it and knew I was a big teddy bear. To them I was the big strong guy with lots of energy and a strong faith. The parents knew who I was and trusted me. I was no more inclined to harm those children than their own parents (in some cases I was much less so).

Looking back, I know I did a lot of things that someone with a depraved mind may have been bothered by (hugging, letting kids sit on my lap, giving rides to the youths, "tigger jumps"), but I never had a complaint from a parent or the church leadership. I was always careful of which young people I did those things with. I knew some of the teenage girls that would be all too happy to cause problems, but they were definitely the minority. With them, I made a point to NEVER be around them without another adult around. I know that I impacted some lives in ways that I never could have if I played by the rules, but I'm also lucky that it never bit me on the backside. I have a clear conscience and would gladly do it all over again.

 

[BigMatt]

I was a music education major at an Indiana state school. I used to teach band camps all the time.

One summer there was a freshman girl that took a shine to me and told her friends that I liked her. This got back to the parents and the band director. He spoke with me about it and I was very freaked out.

I had never given her special attention or was alone with her.

That fall, I changed majors and never looked back. Too much of a close call for me.

 

[jeremy]

He is a Child Molester Burn him at the Stake!!!

 

[insanemonkey]

There needs to be punishment for the people involved in the case that led to the guy being arrested. I am not talking about the family of the girl, but the cops and attorneys that allowed this to continue on. I thought as a detective their job was to investigate a crime. To determine if it is real or not and to gather facts for use in a case. It seems like the people involved dropped the ball.

Anyone is going to believe their kid. They are too close and cannot see the situation correctly. That is one of the reason why people are innocent till proven guilty. This whole send people to jail till the trial comes around crap is garbage. Judges really need to do a better job at keeping people out of jail.

Now this poor guys life is messed up, because the people who are supposed to serve justice did not do their job. They need to be held accountable. If I screw up at work guess what I get in trouble or fired. The same should happen here. The guys legal fees should be paid by the government at the minimum. Being falsely accused should not be taken lightly and you should not have to sue to get the people involved to make up for their mistake.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Guess I am the odd duck out and must be some kind of perv. 10 years ago at my friends house I played with his daughter and niece in the pool, picking them up and throwing them around. Man I must be sick and fed to the wood chipper immediately.

 

[dross]

I know personally of two very sad and frightening situations that I've posted here before.

One is the son of some friends who is serving an eighty something year sentence in Texas for supposedly molesting his stepdaughters. I don't know if he did or if he didn't, but being involved with the appeals and having read the legal documents of the case, I can say this much - guilty or not guilty, the tactics the state used to get a conviction were underhanded, unfair, and downright scary. This included CPS telling him he had to leave the house based only on the girls' accusations. One year later, with no word on the case, he moved back in. CPS found out about it and removed the children. He moved back out, but they refused to return the children because it was an unhealthy environment because the mother didn't believe her girls', she believed her husband. She then changed to a witness for the prosecution, when before she had supported her husband's defense.

The other case involved a guy who was twenty who met a girl on the internet. They arranged to meet at local bar where she had to be eighteen to get in. She got in with a fake ID, unknown to him. They began a sexual relationship. Her mother found out about it and the first he found out that she was underage was when he got arrested. In Colorado, being tricked by an underage girl is no defense, the only defense is that the sex didn't happen. If the girl is underage, even if she lies to you, shows you a fake ID, or uses any other kind of deception, you are guilty, period. The guy spend three years in prison.

This has to be one of the most abused areas of our justice system.

 

[NYFelon]

That and rape allegations.

 

[Hoosier9]

The other case involved a guy who was twenty who met a girl on the internet. They arranged to meet at local bar where she had to be eighteen to get in. She got in with a fake ID, unknown to him. They began a sexual relationship. Her mother found out about it and the first he found out that she was underage was when he got arrested. In Colorado, being tricked by an underage girl is no defense, the only defense is that the sex didn't happen. If the girl is underage, even if she lies to you, shows you a fake ID, or uses any other kind of deception, you are guilty, period. The guy spend three years in prison.

Thankfully, Indiana does have the defense of having a reasonable belief that the "victim" is an adult.

__________________________________________________

IC 35-42-4-9
Sexual misconduct with a minor
Sec. 9. (a) A person at least eighteen (18) years of age who, with a child at least fourteen (14) years of age but less than sixteen (16) years of age, performs or submits to sexual intercourse or deviate sexual conduct commits sexual misconduct with a minor, a Class C felony. However, the offense is:
(1) a Class B felony if it is committed by a person at least twenty-one (21) years of age; and
(2) a Class A felony if it is committed by using or threatening the use of deadly force, if it is committed while armed with a deadly weapon, if it results in serious bodily injury, or if the commission of the offense is facilitated by furnishing the victim, without the victim's knowledge, with a drug (as defined in IC 16-42-19-2(1)) or a controlled substance (as defined in IC 35-48-1-9) or knowing that the victim was furnished with the drug or controlled substance without the victim's knowledge.
(b) A person at least eighteen (18) years of age who, with a child at least fourteen (14) years of age but less than sixteen (16) years of age, performs or submits to any fondling or touching, of either the child or the older person, with intent to arouse or to satisfy the sexual desires of either the child or the older person, commits sexual misconduct with a minor, a Class D felony. However, the offense is:
(1) a Class C felony if it is committed by a person at least twenty-one (21) years of age; and
(2) a Class B felony if it is committed by using or threatening the use of deadly force, while armed with a deadly weapon, or if the commission of the offense is facilitated by furnishing the victim, without the victim's knowledge, with a drug (as defined in IC 16-42-19-2(1)) or a controlled substance (as defined in IC 35-48-1-9) or knowing that the victim was furnished with the drug or controlled substance without the victim's knowledge.
(c) It is a defense that the accused person reasonably believed that the child was at least sixteen (16) years of age at the time of the conduct. However, this subsection does not apply to an offense described in subsection (a)(2) or (b)(2).
(d) It is a defense that the child is or has ever been married. However, this subsection does not apply to an offense described in subsection (a)(2) or (b)(2).
(e) It is a defense to a prosecution under this section if all the following apply:
(1) The person is not more than four (4) years older than the victim.
(2) The relationship between the person and the victim was a dating relationship or an ongoing personal relationship. The term "ongoing personal relationship" does not include a family relationship.

____________________________________________________________

It's kind of surprising to me that Indiana's law regarding sexual conduct and minors has defenses codified, and Colorado's does not.

 

[CarmelHP]

This has to be one of the most abused areas of our justice system.

In 100 years it will likely be considered the same as witch trials are consider today.

 

[revsaxon]

That and rape allegations.

Don't even get me started on how monumentally unfair those are. A few years ago a close friend of mine was accused of gang-raping my roommates girlfriend. Even though he was eventually acquitted, the mere accusation ruined a year of his life as he was fighting it. And it was obvious to anyone with a drop of common sense the girl was lying thru her teeth as he had airline tickets and credit-card receipts showing showing he was in another state, and the sworn statement of the sheriff in the town he was visiting. He was fired from his job, lost his fiancee, lost his right to own any sort of firearm (while the trial was ongoing, later restored without so much as an apology), etc... He ended up moving across the country to get away from the stares of people in the town he lived in. This is truly the most heinous thing a woman can do to a man (falsely accuse them that is.. its its a valid accusation its a whole different story).

 

[Que]

Guess I am the odd duck out and must be some kind of perv. 10 years ago at my friends house I played with his daughter and niece in the pool, picking them up and throwing them around. Man I must be sick and fed to the wood chipper immediately.

For my part, I am not talking about friends and relatives, and perhaps some very close associates. I am talking about adults who I do not have a relationship with. Just because you are my child's karate or basketball coach doesn't mean I know you well enough to be alone with my child.

In your example, I would take children of my FRIENDS on trips, overnights, etc., and my children can do the same with them. I would not have the children of someone I barely know stay overnight at my home and vice versa. It's about adult responsibility in the times which we live.

 

[ADT knights]

While I was in college I had both teammates and a coach accused of rape. Both cases were lies made up by an angry girl. Both cases the males were immediately expelled or fired even thought they were innocent. The girls didn't get in trouble and continued their education at the school. Its a shame they can get away with it yet the accused are screwed for a long long time.

 

[Paco Bedejo]

On another note, I have always loved kids. It is perhaps a cruel twist of fate that my wife and I will likely not be able to have our own (we are looking at adopting though). I became a Christian at the age of 19 and got involved with the youth and children's ministries right away. I had a big tough guy look, but the kids always saw right through it and knew I was a big teddy bear. To them I was the big strong guy with lots of energy and a strong faith. The parents knew who I was and trusted me. I was no more inclined to harm those children than their own parents (in some cases I was much less so).

Looking back, I know I did a lot of things that someone with a depraved mind may have been bothered by (hugging, letting kids sit on my lap, giving rides to the youths, "tigger jumps"), but I never had a complaint from a parent or the church leadership. I was always careful of which young people I did those things with. I knew some of the teenage girls that would be all too happy to cause problems, but they were definitely the minority. With them, I made a point to NEVER be around them without another adult around. I know that I impacted some lives in ways that I never could have if I played by the rules, but I'm also lucky that it never bit me on the backside. I have a clear conscience and would gladly do it all over again.

Huh...I swear I don't remember typing this. When did I create a second account?

That's almost exactly my story. Starting at 19 (6 months after becoming a Christian), I was a volunteer with Campus Life. 6'-3" 220# at the time, I played video games & rough-housed with most of the guys who attended. I was able to have a big impact because of the close relationships I was able to build. Though I was only 1 year older than some of the girls, I steered well-clear of them on the advice of the Campus Life director. That advice paid off when one of the girls decided I'd be a great one to confide in about her step-father's molestation... I got right up & went to find the one female volunteer who was there that night. She was an attractive girl about 18 months younger than me & it would have been all too easy to get to the point where she might make accusations if I shut her down. I still vividly remember the moment I stood up & went to get that female volunteer...because of the sorry state of our courts, I count it as one of my wisest decisions to-date.

It's unfortunate that we're at a place in our society where everyone is a molester and physical contact & complements are always sexual... There's a lot of relationships which suffer for it. I knew most of the parents of the guys I rough-housed with & all were glad to have me as an influence in their sons' lives. This was 11-14 years ago...I'm sure I'd be asked to stop volunteering under the same circumstances today.

 

[shibumiseeker]

While I was in college I had both teammates and a coach accused of rape. Both cases were lies made up by an angry girl. Both cases the males were immediately expelled or fired even thought they were innocent. The girls didn't get in trouble and continued their education at the school. Its a shame they can get away with it yet the accused are screwed for a long long time.

It's a triple whammy. It makes it harder for people who are raped to be believed as well, so anyone who falsely accuses harms more than just the accused.

 

[NYFelon]

Don't even get me started on how monumentally unfair those are. A few years ago a close friend of mine was accused of gang-raping my roommates girlfriend. Even though he was eventually acquitted, the mere accusation ruined a year of his life as he was fighting it. And it was obvious to anyone with a drop of common sense the girl was lying thru her teeth as he had airline tickets and credit-card receipts showing showing he was in another state, and the sworn statement of the sheriff in the town he was visiting. He was fired from his job, lost his fiancee, lost his right to own any sort of firearm (while the trial was ongoing, later restored without so much as an apology), etc... He ended up moving across the country to get away from the stares of people in the town he lived in. This is truly the most heinous thing a woman can do to a man (falsely accuse them that is.. its its a valid accusation its a whole different story).

I couldn't conceivably agree more. The simple fact of the matter is that an allegation, even without any physical evidence whatsoever, is enough to get a man charged. Now, couple that with spurned or vengeful, maladjusted females, or in some cases even a profit motive, and you have a recipe for disaster.