To the lady in the white Buick on I-65: Your bumper sticker says your are pro-life, but your driving says otherwise. Mirrors and signals-- USE THEM, especially when you are randomly changing lanes while going 15 mph slower than every other car on the road.
You need therapy.I like to carry on conversations with drivers as I go about my travels. Keeps me sane. I think. So this is my conversation with the driver of the flatbed duelly this morning on a narrow, curvy, slightly slushy, two lane road (warning asterisk filled, NSFW if said aloud):
"Damn phone. Damn Steve Jobs. Siri should alert or something when I'm about to walk out the door with out it. So now I'm stuck behind dickhead here."
"Karma, you slutty whore."
"Oh, c'mon, man. Do I really have 4 more miles of this ****? This is not a ****ing blizzard!! The sky is clear!!! There's maybe an inch of SLUSH!! You're not going slide off the road! Go ahead. You can safely double your speed to........20."
"Ugh. You're driving a big ****ing truck with big ****ing knobbyass duel wheels!!! It's ****ing heavy. You're not going to tip over!!! I promise!"
"WTF? ... Is that muther****er laughing at me!?! NO. YOU are NOT slowing down. ARRGGGG!!!! You hit the wrong ****ing peddle, man."
"Ooh. A subdivision coming up. Please turn off. Please turn off. Please turn off......."
"Son of a ***** is NOT turning off. Great! Got two more miles of this *******. That's what...12 minutes more? You're ****ing kidding me, right? **** Apple and their damn iPhone. Steve Jobs, it's your damn fault I'm stuck behind this *******. Siri, you *****."
"Oh...wait! HALLELUJAH! He IS turning off!!!"
So I wave as I pass, giving him the single finger salute as I speed by. Dickhead. He just smiles back and waves, and shrugs. "Huh? What's that he's carrying? Dang, THAT would suck if it fell off." Introspectively wondering, eh, maybe he's not the dickhead.