Wife said no??????

[GunGunDin]

If she don't know, she can't say no.

 

[bluewraith]

What wife?

 

[Hotdoger]

A life of moderation is one best lived. I am reasonable, she is reasonable. After33 years , no is not a word we have had to say.

 

[Giddaltti]

In my house I get one everyone else wants something. "Shiney new object," attrack a lot of attention! But I get what I want and pay the price.

 

[CountryBoy19]

I'm here to tell you, friends, that's no way to live. I've been married almost half of my life (20+ years at 42 years of age) and it doesn't have to be that way. Men, love and respect your wives and make good financial decisions. Women, respect and trust your husbands.

This is the truth... I'm never selling a gun because my wife says I have to... if my wife wasn't ok with me owning it I didn't buy it in the first place because I gave her enough respect to make sure she was ok with it before it even went beyond being only a thought. I'm sure there are things my wife doesn't know about but none of that is intentionally hidden from her. We both respect each-other enough to run all larger purchases past the other prior.

The only time I ever bought a gun without her prior permission was somewhat of a "whoops". I was going golfing with some friends and there was a gun on gunbroker that was very, very cheap. The gun alone was a $1k+ gun and had another $700 of accessories on it. I threw in a "too cheap to sell at that price" bid of $1150 and came home from golf shocked that I had won it... I stripped the accessories and put it in my safe as a spare parts gun (it was an exact sister to a gun I already owned). It sat there for a year and my brother asked if I would sell it to him. I obliged... she wasn't exactly happy that I had purchased it but when I told her how good of a deal it was she was ok with it.

 

[mustangjohn]

I was lucky cause my wife wanted one first. She is a realtor and I felt it wasn't a good idea to be meeting strangers without a friend. The problem was she had no one to practice with so I got a new toy too I hadn't fire a gun since boot camp many years ago. Now we have fun shooting together. Bonus

 

[Bapak2ja]

I say that with a divorce rate at or over 50%, it wouldn't surprise me if a guy was in a relationship where the wife felt it was necessary for a husband to ask permission or where she thought she could give orders. Likewise, it wouldn't surprise me if a guy thought he had to keep things from his wife.

I'm here to tell you, friends, that's no way to live. I've been married almost half of my life (20+ years at 42 years of age) and it doesn't have to be that way. Men, love and respect your wives and make good financial decisions. Women, respect and trust your husbands.

Been at this over forty years with the same wonderful woman. Common finances from the beginning. Every purchase discussed and agreed in advance. Each contribute to the pot when each is working. Sometimes she was not working (taking care of the kids) sometimes I was not working (going to school), but we dealt with the money the same way. Decided every purchase together. Paid the essentials, rent, food, gas, insurance—all the bills got paid first. Then 10% to our church. Then investments, savings, then extras if any was left.

Once the kids were out of the house, we had some extra for hobbies. I bought my first weapon in 2009. Gradually added those things necessary. Always done by agreement. Wife bought things she needed/wanted as her interests and hobbies changed. It was a partnership, based on a loving commitment to our wedding vows.

We do not always agree, but we do always extend freedom of action within the relationship. If I really want something, I can get it; if she really wants something, she gets it. Neither of us always gets what we want—except a happy spouse who will never do anything to harm the relationship. We both know the other is the greatest treasure we have.

 

[Bunnykid68]

 

[indykid]

My late wife was funny when it came to firearms. She had no problem shooting trap off our back porch with me almost every evening after coming home from a long day at work. She had no trouble when our daughter at age 3 wanted to try her hand with the shotgun off the back porch. She had no problem when I started my collecting AK variants, asking me "is it a long gun?" fully knowing the answer. She had no problem when our daughter at age 12 wanted to shoot an AK variant. But for some reason she didn't like having a pistol around the house.

Although to this day I could not figure out why, but I had no problem not having a pistol around as much as I enjoyed having a happy wife. It took several years after her passing before I was able to overcome her dislike of the pistol before I bought my first. And then found out that my daughter was as good a shot with the pistol as she was with the long guns.

Don't try to figure out wives. Just remember the only way to a happy marriage is to remember the most important answer to anything she says: "Yes dear".

 

[Cameramonkey]

My wife is making me sell my first auto. A big hulking Ruger P91DC that just sits in the cabinet like a safe queen... So I can buy her a small gun to actually use and carry.

Ok, so it was my Idea, but I can make her sound like the bad guy at least. LOL

 

[metaldog]

I have been given the one blessing that every gun-guy wants to hear from his wife... "The guns are YOUR department. You do what you want, you're going to anyway."
My response was, "Fabulous! As long as you hold true to that statement, I will never gripe about you buying another purse, or pair of shoes again."
Since then (about 6 months ago), I have bought a new 12 gauge & a new 1911. AND, I did tell her first. She wasn't pleased, but she held her tongue. But, I'm OK with that. She has a few new pair of shoes & a couple new purses now.

 

[MikeDVB]

I work hard for the money I bring home - I'll spend some of it however I want. I've told her if she works hard for some money - she gets the same privilege .

That said - if she isn't happy, I'm not happy... So usually I'll defer to her wishes unless I'm really set on something.

 

[jrogers]

We both have veto power for multi-hundred dollar purchases. If one of us can't make a good enough case for a purchase to convince the other the item is probably unnecessary.

 

[hoosierdoc]

I work hard for the money I bring home - I'll spend some of it however I want. I've told her if she works hard for some money - she gets the same privilege

Is she a stay-at-home mom? If so, then you both agreed she wouldn't earn an income but would support the family a different way. I hope you're kidding on this statement since it's hard to tell on the net with people you don't know...

would you cut back your hours and take over domestic chores and child care to allow her to work and this spend money without approval?

regardless, relationships work better when both people are in charge of the resources. I believe in the Biblical teaching of the man running the household, but he's supposed to do so while heeding the advice of his wisest counsel. It's a very rate thing that I do without my wife's blessing. And usually in the end it was something selfish in retrospect that we would have been off having done something else

 

[churchmouse]

If there is a shortage of funds then I would not even approach the wife about such a purpose. Family first/last/always. Once a way is found to get said funding then I let the wife know and she smiles. The wife knows that in times of need I will sell anything I have acquired to keep the lights on. I have done this a few times in our 32 yrs. of partnership. I always keep "Enough" for protection etc. but anything of value is expendable in time of need.
I have sold my hot-rods, motorcycles and my guns when the situation warrants. I can replace them later.
The wife also knows that what the wife wants/needs is only a request away.

Partnership....

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

Been at this over forty years with the same wonderful woman. Common finances from the beginning. Every purchase discussed and agreed in advance. Each contribute to the pot when each is working. Sometimes she was not working (taking care of the kids) sometimes I was not working (going to school), but we dealt with the money the same way. Decided every purchase together. Paid the essentials, rent, food, gas, insurance—all the bills got paid first. Then 10% to our church. Then investments, savings, then extras if any was left. Once the kids were out of the house, we had some extra for hobbies. I bought my first weapon in 2009. Gradually added those things necessary. Always done by agreement. Wife bought things she needed/wanted as her interests and hobbies changed. It was a partnership, based on a loving commitment to our wedding vows.We do not always agree, but we do always extend freedom of action within the relationship. If I really want something, I can get it; if she really wants something, she gets it. Neither of us always gets what we want—except a happy spouse who will never do anything to harm the relationship. We both know the other is the greatest treasure we have.

THIS... 24 years in my case - but the operating principle is exactly the same. You are a wise man, my friend!

 

[Bapak2ja]

If there is a shortage of funds then I would not even approach the wife about such a purpose. Family first/last/always. Once a way is found to get said funding then I let the wife know and she smiles. The wife knows that in times of need I will sell anything I have acquired to keep the lights on. I have done this a few times in our 32 yrs. of partnership. I always keep "Enough" for protection etc. but anything of value is expendable in time of need.
I have sold my hot-rods, motorcycles and my guns when the situation warrants. I can replace them later.
The wife also knows that what the wife wants/needs is only a request away.

Partnership....

Excellent.

 

[HoughMade]

Been at this over forty years with the same wonderful woman. Common finances from the beginning. Every purchase discussed and agreed in advance. Each contribute to the pot when each is working. Sometimes she was not working (taking care of the kids) sometimes I was not working (going to school), but we dealt with the money the same way. Decided every purchase together. Paid the essentials, rent, food, gas, insurance—all the bills got paid first. Then 10% to our church. Then investments, savings, then extras if any was left.

Once the kids were out of the house, we had some extra for hobbies. I bought my first weapon in 2009. Gradually added those things necessary. Always done by agreement. Wife bought things she needed/wanted as her interests and hobbies changed. It was a partnership, based on a loving commitment to our wedding vows.

We do not always agree, but we do always extend freedom of action within the relationship. If I really want something, I can get it; if she really wants something, she gets it. Neither of us always gets what we want—except a happy spouse who will never do anything to harm the relationship. We both know the other is the greatest treasure we have.

^^^ There you go.

My wife and I have always held all finances in common. The first 3 years, we both worked. The next three years, I was in law school and she worked to support us and I supplemented when I could. My wife quit the week I graduated and has been at home with the kids ever since (15 years, I was the primary caregiver for or first child his first year).

She buys what she feels she needs or wants. I buy what I feel I need or want. We discuss bigger things (bought a new van last week), but no one asks anyone for permission or gives anyone a hard time for buying something or pushes anyone to get rid of anything. We both know our financial situation and try to make wise decisions, though I have to admit that she is more frugal that I am....but even then, she never gives me a hard time.

It's a good way to live.

 

[edporch]

Ok so I have a question, I've been reading some threads and I keep seeing this reoccurring statement "My wife said no" or "Wife said one has to go". Is this a real situation or is this something guys use as an excuse? I could only wish for the day my wife actually tells me no on a gun.. or any purchase for that matter.

Don't get me wrong I respect my wife, and I value her input, but NO?????

What say ye INGO?

I'm selling part of my collection in order to downsize.

I've COMMONLY had cases where the buyer said "I'll take it", and before we met to close the deal, they had to back out because their "girlfriend/wife said NO".

Sometimes it's because the girlfriend/wife thinks he's throwing his money away buying an "old gun".
In these cases, when it's explained to her that old collectable guns will typically hold their value and often increase in value if taken care of, she often drops her objections.

But in cases where it's just because he's PW'd, I have no insight...

 

[MikeDVB]

Is she a stay-at-home mom?

Yes, and I am a stay-at-home dad as well. She isn't doing it all alone while I leave her to fend for herself all day. I do my job + help around the house/with my son/etc.

That said - she is stay at home by her choice. If she wanted to get a job she could - entirely up to her. Since I work from home it would be no issue for me to watch my son while she was at work.

That said - she does run her own small business and makes a fair bit of money that she gets to spend however she wants. There is no double standard, hypocrisy, or unfairness.

If so, then you both agreed she wouldn't earn an income but would support the family a different way. I hope you're kidding on this statement since it's hard to tell on the net with people you don't know...

Not kidding, just not the 'whole story' so to speak.

would you cut back your hours and take over domestic chores and child care to allow her to work and this spend money without approval?

Absolutely - if that's what she wanted to do I'd be more than happy to help out more than I already do.

regardless, relationships work better when both people are in charge of the resources.

Never said I was in-charge and she had to deal with it. What I am saying is that i get to spend a portion of what I bring in on whatever I want. I.e. if I bring home $5,000 I can go spend $500 on something I want, and then we both have control over the remaining $4500.

It's a very rate thing that I do without my wife's blessing.

If it's only a few bucks it's not worth the time/effort for either of us. If it's a multi-hundred-dollar purchase it will be discussed even if it came from my 'cut' of the money.

And usually in the end it was something selfish in retrospect that we would have been off having done something else

There are always better ways to spend money - but when the reaper pays you a visit - you've only had your one life and if you didn't live it to the max you missed out.