Where do I go from here? Guns and Daughter Related...

[Eddie]

The 4-H course is pretty good. They learn about and shoot several different things, including a bow. The Hunter Safety Course is pretty good too; they only fire a few shots but there is a lot of instruction on safe handling, checking backstop and such. Start her out small and keep building.

 

[Woodsman]

Having been through some of this myself I'll offer some comments..

...after she returned to her moms house yesterday evening of course she interrogated her like Gibbs off of NCIS on what we did this weekend.

Kids should not be interrogated like this and it's frowned upon by the people who oversee these things. The time you spend with your daughter is your own together time just as if your were all still one family. This is what is intended to provide balance to the kids as much as possible. The interrogations instills a mistrust and can cause the kid to question who is right or wrong. Something she should not be put in a position to judge.

TBH, the letter from momma seemed like an attempt to document something. My first impression. I've seen crazier things done to sway judgement's by others.

 

[jmildoc]

are you kidding I have taken my 3 year old son in Bradis before.. and he was like

"Dad!!! Look at all the boom booms"!!!!! Me and the guy behind the counter started cracking up...

 

[alwalker84]

are you kidding I have taken my 3 year old son in Bradis before.. and he was like

"Dad!!! Look at all the boom booms"!!!!! Me and the guy behind the counter started cracking up...

Yea there was another kid in there with his dad and he seemed to be about the same age.

TBH, the letter from momma seemed like an attempt to document something. My first impression. I've seen crazier things done to sway judgement's by others.

Knowing her, this could quite honestly be true. It would not be there 1st time...I dont know how that slipped my mind. Ill give you a clue though...she so graciously managed to convince the courts that she needs $755 a month in child support for my ONE daughter...

 

[jmildoc]

$755 a month!!! That is terrible.... I feel for you

 

[loony1]

I still am married to my, "babyie momma" and I have 2 beautiful girls by her 2 and 4 yrs old. I still ponder when the first time i take them shooting, however gun safety started the minute that they could understand what i am saying. I have a chipmunk .22cal rifle i got on christmas of 1980 (i was 4), sitting in the safe waiting for the day that i hear, "dad let's go shooting", until then the subject will not be pressed. Good luck with the ex, and i hope all works out for you.

 

[loony1]

Yea there was another kid in there with his dad and he seemed to be about the same age.



Knowing her, this could quite honestly be true. It would not be there 1st time...I dont know how that slipped my mind. Ill give you a clue though...she so graciously managed to convince the courts that she needs $755 a month in child support for my ONE daughter...

roughly $200 bucks a week, about standard for 1 kid these days

 

[alwalker84]

roughly $200 bucks a week, about standard for 1 kid these days

I have my opinion, but I dont want the thread to get derailed...

 

[88GT]

I'll tell you what I'd do.

While your daughter is with you, it is YOUR'S/HER time. Her mother cannot tell you what to do with that time.

Well, actually she can. Maybe she shouldn't, but that hasn't stopped some from trying. And if you turn the tables, I'm sure there are more than a few activities dads (generically) may not want moms to do with the kids.

Personally, OP, I'd sign her up for an Eddie Eagle safety program and then look for organized group shoots, like 4H. And then I'd probably take her shooting anyway. If the wifey wants to spend her money to force the issue, more power to her. But I don't have all the information and I don't have to walk in your shoes. So it's easy for me to say that.

You could always dig up the articles of the 5 year old boy who shot the aliigator in texas or the 9 year old girl (give or take a year or so) who protected herself and her brother with momma's handgun when the bad guys bust into their apartment to do bad things. I think that one happened in New York, at least out east for sure. If they hadn't been taught how to use firearms, where would they be?


ETA: link to Texas story. I don't remember enough details about the other one to find it. Sorry.

5-Year-Old Shoots Giant Alligator | MyFoxHouston.com

 

[alwalker84]

Well, actually she can. Maybe she shouldn't, but that hasn't stopped some from trying. And if you turn the tables, I'm sure there are more than a few activities dads (generically) may not want moms to do with the kids.

Personally, OP, I'd sign her up for an Eddie Eagle safety program and then look for organized group shoots, like 4H. And then I'd probably take her shooting anyway. If the wifey wants to spend her money to force the issue, more power to her. But I don't have all the information and I don't have to walk in your shoes. So it's easy for me to say that.

You could always dig up the articles of the 5 year old boy who shot the aliigator in texas or the 9 year old girl (give or take a year or so) who protected herself and her brother with momma's handgun when the bad guys bust into their apartment to do bad things. I think that one happened in New York, at least out east for sure. If they hadn't been taught how to use firearms, where would they be?


ETA: link to Texas story. I don't remember enough details about the other one to find it. Sorry.

5-Year-Old Shoots Giant Alligator | MyFoxHouston.com

These are good points, and thanks for the link. Id like to think that I could prepared her (uninhibited) to protect herself or family if the unfortunate situation came forth.

 

[Woodsman]

Knowing her, this could quite honestly be true. It would not be there 1st time...I dont know how that slipped my mind. Ill give you a clue though...she so graciously managed to convince the courts that she needs $755 a month in child support for my ONE daughter...

That's how it starts. All of those long winded (and appears as normal concern) end up biting you in the rear. If you get painted as someone unreasonable or construed to be putting your daughter in precarious situations it can work against you. Remember... it's not just you looking at this. It's a whole lot of people who have different concepts child welfare and parenthood (most of them single and not parents from what I've seen), but with a lot of education on what's right).

I don't know what the going rate is for child support anymore, but it used to 17.5% of income (net or gross? don't remember what it was up here). That was a long time ago too.

If she is interrogating your daughter like that, don't let anything fall below your radar.

 

[hip shot]

Al, my kids mom was the same way, I recommend signing your daughter up for 4H shooting sports next summer. 4H in Marion County starts them off with air guns the first year then they move up to small bore and shotgun after that. Keep up the good work with your child, you are doing her a great service by teaching her gun safety at her age.

gun, mussel loader , pistol etc

I totally agree with this, I am a 4H shotgun instructor and have actually seen single Moms bring sons and daughters to shoot. I would let her know this way she will be taught with trained professionals arround some kids her own age.

Also point out she will have to pass Hunter Ed wich is 12 hours and a test. Then take a discipline, shot gun, pistole etc. and pass another test.

Another ieda is to have her take archery in 4h, it gets her in the program but not with a gun. By the way we have had 11 year old girls shoot a 20 ga youth beretta auto loader at the funday.... what county are you in???????

 

[ljadayton]

I have my opinion, but I dont want the thread to get derailed...

agreed...but that's more then I'm getting for MY one child

to the OP, my son (now 8) got his Cricket at 5...everyone I worked with thought we were crazy....but he shot it, safely, he knows not to touch any guns he finds anywhere and hasn't expressed much interest in any guns other then those in his video games. I am planning on setting up a mock firing line to drill him on range safety so IF I can ever get him (and me) to a range, he'll know what the different commands mean. My ex would support this if I told him, I just don't see it being something I need to run over and tell him about. We agreed that my time with our son was MY time, his time with the boy was HIS time. Music, tv, video games, food, bed time, etc are up to the parent he's with, as long as the other parent doesn't experience any negative reprecussions from it. So I say, take what Baby Mama has to say, think it over, do what you feel is right. She's just as much your child as BM's child. Just my

 

[alwalker84]

gun, mussel loader , pistol etc

I totally agree with this, I am a 4H shotgun instructor and have actually seen single Moms bring sons and daughters to shoot. I would let her know this way she will be taught with trained professionals arround some kids her own age.

Also point out she will have to pass Hunter Ed wich is 12 hours and a test. Then take a discipline, shot gun, pistole etc. and pass another test.

Another ieda is to have her take archery in 4h, it gets her in the program but not with a gun. By the way we have had 11 year old girls shoot a 20 ga youth beretta auto loader at the funday.... what county are you in???????

Marion County... I will look into what you have mentioned. Thanks for your input!

 

[Sureshot129]

Offer to take your ex and her husband to the range if they are really intrested in getting a gun for there protection. It will hopefully take away some of her fear and further you goal in being able to take your little girl shooting.

 

[ihateiraq]

you seem reasonable and she seems reasonable(even if a bit misguided). you guys shouldnt have a hard time coming to an agreement.

 

[Tactical Dave]

I did not read all the replies but like said above maybe a BB/Pellet gun would be a good starter and maybe she would feel better with that?

When my won is old enough to know that guns are dangerous and not toys then my wife and I will get him a .22 rifle (have a few BB guns allready for him to use first) then let him shoot it but we will not let him keep it in his room or anything... what age will that be? Who knows.

Also saying that you want to buy her one might have her mom feeling un easy. Maybe telling her you will let her shoot one of yours or you will get one for yourself for cheap shooting and let her shoot it if she wants?

Sometimes how you word things makes all the difference.

A good idea might be to ask about getting a red ryder BB gun (the worst she could do is poke her eye out haha)... then if she want's a .22 tell her she should ask her mom.... mom will like this because she sees that you are remembering her feelings in this and she will see that is is something that little susey wants......... you can still teach gun saftey with a bb gun.

 

[ralphb72]

I agree with some of the others. Take your time. My wife freaked when I told her I wanted to buy our boys 22's. I haven't yet. I ended up buying one for "us" to shoot and a 22 pistol for her. She likes the 10/22 for her, now I'll have to get another for the boys and I to shoot. My dad just bought them bb guns for Christmas after asking her permission and letting her think about it for a while then asking again. One day they'll get their own 10/22's and she will go shooting with "hers" with us but not for a couple of years I expect. They will be 11 and 9 by then but that's better then learning at 18!

 

[lovemachine]

I know your probably wanting to keep a friendly relationship with your baby mamma. But the way I see it is that your daughter is still your daughter. You shouldn't have to ask permission to do anything for your girl. If it was me, I'd just buy her the gun anyway. You feel like she's ready, then that means she's ready. Wait until she's 18? Yeah, right. Buy her the gun anyway.

 

[indianajoe]

However you decide to handle the situation, I'll say I think you're lucky to have an ex that appears to be reasonable, compromising, respectful of you while stating her own beliefs. Many of us don't have it as well. And some have it worse.