What do you need that gun for?

[Eddie]

"What do you need that gun for?"

I was in my own place of business this morning when the boyfriend of a client came in to drop off some papers. Those were his first words when he saw the sig on my belt.

"To shoot." I said. "Have you ever tried to shoot bullets without a gun?" I asked him back.

He just shook his head and left.

What are some of your best smart alecky anwers to "What do you need that gun for?"

 

[Cwood]

Zombies, that almost came true this past Friday in Battle Creek as there was 30 of them roaming downtown!

 

[Disposable Heart]

"I don't rely on statistics to save my life, you shouldn't either. I carry so that if something bad happens, I can save myself, maybe you as well. I carry because YOU don't!"

 

[Integraholic]

"Why don't you need one?"

My favorite is, "Why do you have that?" "Why don't you?" "I don't like guns." "Well I do like guns."

 

[Protest]

"Why don't you need one?"

My favorite is, "Why do you have that?" "Why don't you?" "I don't like guns." "Well I do like guns."

And then you could break out into singing that Steve Lee song. Then they'll look at you really funny.

 

[E5RANGER375]

what gun?

with a mark 23 in a shoulder holster, LOL

 

[PatriotPride]

Which one? (Just think about it) (This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for shooting the other is for fun)

 

[jeremy]

Sigh...

I wish I owned some Guns...
Be pretty cool to have my own crew served. Or maybe a Napoleon for the Holidays...

 

[shibumiseeker]

Zombies.

Deadpan, straight faced. They never ask another question. It works on many levels.

 

[EvilleDoug]

No one has asked me why I need a gun yet
If they do, I would say because when the SHTF, what will you be doing.....this ----->

Then I would ask, When the BG comes for you in the night and is touching your wife's mommy parts, what will you be doing

And if that doesn't work, then I would just say...because someone said I could

Le Doug

 

[Benny]

A police officer is too heavy to carry around.

No offense Gary.

 

[cosermann]

Did you say something? Well ... did ya punk! (I would NOT actually use this one. Just came to me.)

When did they start letting idiots out to just wander aimlessly around by themselves?

Because when seconds count, the police are minutes away.

The bullets don't work very well when I throw them.

A gun in the hand is worth two cops on the phone.

 

[rmabrey]

A police officer is too heavy to carry around.

No offense Gary.

This is usually what I say

 

[EvilleDoug]

-rmabrey- What, No offense Gary?

Is that what you say? LOL

 

[rhart]

"Did you see any ZOmbies on the way in here?" No. "Exactly!"

 

[indytechnerd]

"You ever watch Men in Black? Scariest documentary I ever seen."
Then walk to the nearest window and scan the skies.

 

[Integraholic]

"You eyeballin me?"

 

[Jubbie]

In a pet store with my great dane (140 lbs, 34" at the back) I was asked why I was carrying. I replied, "because my dog can't protect me at 1,000 ft/sec."

 

[steve666]

OPENING NOTE: If you find yourself in a fair fight... your tactics suck!

1. The first rule of a gunfight is: HAVE A GUN
2. The two next most important rules in a gunfight are: always cheat and always win.
3. In a gunfight there is no such thing as overkill.
4. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
5. I carry a gun ‘cause a cop is too heavy.
6. OK, so a cop can walk, but then you have to carry donuts to keep him close by.
7. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
8. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
9. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!
10. You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long you live depends on how well you do it.
11. The sword is never the killer, it is a mere tool in the killers hand.
12. Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!
13. The purpose of fighting is to win.
14. Because I can't throw a rock 1000 fps.
15. I don't want my dying words to be "Damn, I wish I had my gun.”
16. I would rather have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it.
17. In case I need to shoot something… or someone.
18. ‘Cuz a gun ain't got no legs...
19. Because you never know when one of us is going to come up lame and need to be put down!
20. You know... because of the killer clowns.
21. My old grandpa said to me son, there comes a time in every man’s life when he stops busting knuckles and starts busting caps and usually it's when he becomes too old to take an ass whooping!
22. Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whooping!
23. No one who was ever in a firefight has ever complained of having TOO MUCH ammunition.
24. Keep shooting. Weigh them down with lead. Ammunition is cheap, life isn’t.
25. Police Protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves. Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.
26. Because I refuse to be a victim and I'm too lazy to push daisies.
27. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him, "Why do you carry a .45?"
The Ranger responded with, "Because they don't make a .46."
28. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?" "NO Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle."


PARTING NOTE: An unloaded gun is just a club!

 

[rbrthenderson]

Is that a real gun? Yes.
Is it loaded? Yes.
Isn't that dangerous? Well I should certainly hope so.