This is sick - please remove ! I can think of no rational person who would find any value in this. I hope you never have to see an injured child and be helpless to effect any relief action. You are one perverted SOB !
I was a firefighter and EMT for 25 years. I don't recall anything resembling this that would have been considered humorous during my career in firefighting.
During that time I was also a reserve deputy sheriff. My comments stand.
Give it a break. It's just a cake. I'm glad your career as a "hero" allows you to declare what it humorous and what isn't.