The funny pic thread: Part 2

[CandRFan]

Huh...guess I am a computer nerd after all...

 

[AllenM]

 

[bluewraith]

Dual wielding toddlers. Run!!!

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Dual wielding toddlers. Run!!!

Those things make me want to commit an assault. To think that woman was allowed to breed. And those untrained little bastards will be voting some day, after a thorough public education of course.....

 

[ThrottleJockey]

I got this from Facebook and thought it was not only funny, but should be required reading!

from,...Jim Peterson.....THIS IS A RIOT!!!

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!
I'm STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.
The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!

Too late, we already have a nation full of them.
—

 

[sharkey]

Go it one better: Uncut Currency


Supposedly, Steve Wozniak would buy uncut sheets and have them perforated on the cut lines then glued along the edge to make a notepad. When making a purchase, he would then tear off enough to cover the bill.

 

[1946]

Yea, years back we used to get a stack of new one dollar bills. Put them between a couple of C clamps and two pieces of plywood. We would then 'paint the edge of the clamped side of the bills with rubber cement. Let them dry and then we had a pad of
fifty one $ bills.
Some of the looks we got when paying for something with them was priceless.

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Go it one better: Uncut Currency


Supposedly, Steve Wozniak would buy uncut sheets and have them perforated on the cut lines then glued along the edge to make a notepad. When making a purchase, he would then tear off enough to cover the bill.

I had a sheet of bills I bought at the bureau of printing and engraving. The numbers were all in sequence. I regretted having to do it, but I bought some groceries with it. They were pretty skeptical of them.

 

[IndyBeerman]

Go it one better: Uncut Currency

I just checked this out, to buy an uncut sheet of 32 -one dollar bills costs $61.00 dollars.

WTF, I should get a 1 cent discount for each bill not having to be cut and only pay 31.68.

 

[tv1217]

Before the ageism starts, I'd just like to say I'm 26 and I've seen plenty of $2s


Also, you gave me a new way to troll the public.

 

[ThrottleJockey]

I'm certainly asking my bank for as many $2 bills as I can get my hands on from now on I think there is a federal reserve branch out by the old airport where you can order specific denominations too. There used to be anyways, that's where I got rolls of state quarters from each mint.

 

[tv1217]

$1 coins are fun too.

 

[sharkey]

I had a sheet of bills I bought at the bureau of printing and engraving. The numbers were all in sequence. I regretted having to do it, but I bought some groceries with it. They were pretty skeptical of them.

Lucky you. IIRC, Woz got an interview with the Secret Service over them.

 

[hacksawfg]

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Lucky you. IIRC, Woz got an interview with the Secret Service over them.

LOL, they sell them at the friggin' gift shop! I have a friend in MN whose father worked in a facility destroying shredded money and he would bring home HUGE trash bags full of it. It was sooo fun to go to keg parties at his house, we would throw literally millions of dollars on the fire. Man those are good memories.

 

[tv1217]

LOL, they sell them at the friggin' gift shop! I have a friend in MN whose father worked in a facility destroying shredded money and he would bring home HUGE trash bags full of it. It was sooo fun to go to keg parties at his house, we would throw literally millions of dollars on the fire. Man those are good memories.

They should make TP out of that, so more people can wipe their butts with 100 dollar bills.

 

[tgallmey]

Before the ageism starts, I'd just like to say I'm 26 and I've seen plenty of $2s


Also, you gave me a new way to troll the public.

Im 23 and I have a few. Maybe we should try 50 cent pieces too

 

[Bill of Rights]

$1 coins are fun too.

Just don't try to use them at the strip club.

Don't ask me how I know.








(and yes, I like $2 bills also.)

 

[IndyBeerman]

Just don't try to use them at the strip club.

Don't ask me how I know.


(and yes, I like $2 bills also.)

I so much wanted to say something involving this...

 

[tv1217]

Just don't try to use them at the strip club.

Don't ask me how I know.








(and yes, I like $2 bills also.)

Don't try to use your debit card either...