Scouting - My Surprise

[Que]

My son brought home a paper inviting the parents of his school to attend a Scouting meeting. I was never introduced to Scouting as a child and was eager to get my son involved. We went to the meeting last night and of the 20-30 interested kids there, I didn't see any other fathers! Also the leaders of the dens are mothers.

I really thought I would get the opportunity for some male bonding, but I guess that isn't going to happen. Do many of you find that men are lacking when it comes to being involved in Scouting (Cub, Boy, and Eagle) organizations?

 

[hooky]

All the more reason for you to get involved. My son did cub scouts and I was the den leader. I'm certain that I was the only male role model that took an interest in the lives of some of the boys in my den. There were more grandfathers that were involved than Dad's who would show up.

 

[pudly]

Interesting. Just a theory, but I wonder how many of them are single mothers looking for a good father-figure influence for their sons.

 

[OZZY.40]

When I was in scouts, dad's weren't involved during the cub scout years, but boy scouts was done by dads.

 

[redneckmedic]

Do many of you find that men are lacking when it comes to being involved xxxxxxxxxxxx?

FTFY

I personally believe this is the root of the fall of our country. Folks can blame the government for as much as they want. Society is gone to the crapper because the family core is completely broken. Fathers aren't involved in their kids lives, none the less acting like real men any longer.

It's sad that you have experienced this in BSA as well.

 

[Kitty]

When I was in scouts, dad's weren't involved during the cub scout years, but boy scouts was done by dads.

This. I was my son's den leader for 3 yrs and Cubmaster for 1. When he went to Boy scouts, that all changed. It was pretty much all men. I was actually the only female on SEVERAL outings.

 

[lrahm]

Getting involved in your son's or daughter's life from an early age is a must. Most of the problems that I have encountered comes from broken home or from parents who don't get involde with their family at an early age. Thake the time. I can point out dozens and dozens who didn't.

 

[Doug]

My sons are now 33 and 27, both Eagle Scouts, I was never involved in scouting as a kid.
My experience was as follows:

Tiger Cubs - Pre Cub Scouts, meeting about once a month, lots of mother involvement, some father involvement.

Cub Scouts - Den meeting once a week with Cub Pack meeting of all the Dens once a month. Still a lot of mother involvement with more father involvement.

Boy Scouts - Meetings once a week, Camp outs once a month (most months), and Week-long Summer Camp at one of the Scout Reservations.
Some fathers quite involved, most just dropping off the boys and letting other fathers run the troop.

Many single mothers send their sons, desperately hoping he will have a positive experience with a man.
Male bonding is possible and badly needed by many of the boys. It also teaches team work and can be a lot of fun.
Sadly, the boys who need it most seem to be the ones who drop out.

If you get involved and have a good relationship with your son, he'll be the envy of most of the boys there.

Do the right thing!

Doug

 

[IndyGunworks]

FTFY

I personally believe this is the root of the fall of our country. Folks can blame the government for as much as they want. Society is gone to the crapper because the family core is completely broken. Fathers aren't involved in their kids lives, none the less acting like real men any longer.

It's sad that you have experienced this in BSA as well.

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

When I was in scouts, dad's weren't involved during the cub scout years, but boy scouts was done by dads.

Me too. Cubs had den mothers. Boy Scouts had leaders (all of mine were male).

 

[Cwood]

During my Cub Scout years all they were all den mothers and when I went to Boy Scouts it was all men.

 

[goinggreyfast]

Wow, that's truly sad Que. My father was the Scoutmaster when I grew up. Some of my best memories were of hanging out with "the guys" at Boy Scout outings. I learned so much not just from my father, but from all the fathers who were there. The things I learned from those men about responsibility, organization, camping, survival, shooting, etc, etc, etc... all have stuck with me to this day and I thank those men for teaching me those skills.

My father was the founder of the Webelos Father/Son weekend. He received the "Silver Beaver" Award for his efforts. It's the highest award that the BSA can give a volunteer. Back in the day, there was no overnight camping for Cub Scouts and Dad saw an opportunity to use the Webelos Father/Son weekend to help initiate the transition to Boy Scouts. I'm proud to say he was my Dad!

You know, I never had children and have wished many times that I had a son to do these things with, but the opportunity never arose. It's stories like this that make me want to volunteer, ya know? I turn 50 tomorrow and have spent some time these past few days wondering what if?

 

[sadclownwp]

I was an Assistant Scoutmaster for a year and a half. I can say that in all that time only 1 father ever attended a campout, and he stayed in a camper. It was pathetic. Way to much estrogen at the meetings too. And watch out, when you are one of the only men there, the moms all look at you like a surrogate father. And heaven forbid one of the scouts ever do something that endangers another child and you call him out on it and yell at him, then you get angry moms riding your butt about it. And it seems like mostly single moms want to get involves strictly to make any male leaders into surrogate fathers. The Scoutmaster and I (the only 2 adult males there) had to sit the mothers all down one day and explain to them that we were not surrogate fathers, and to stop expecting us to be. They all freaked out about how we were supposed to be the men the boys all looked up to. They didn't like it when we told them that perhaps they should look up to their real father, I thought I the meeting was going to get violent.

The kids were mostly good kids, lazy, but good. To bad how much they all got over coddled at home, makes it impossible to turn them into scouts. Then again scouting has definitely shifted focus from turning boys into respectful contributing members of society and shifted more towards making them all feel good about themselves, like that works.

In short, unless you can drag several other men into scouting, beware.

 

[SideArmed]

I came up from Cub scouts all the way up through Eagle Scout, and stayed on a bit as a Junior assistant scout master, and my entire time involved in scouting, it was always Moms doing the cub scouting and dads working with the Boy scouts. Not sure why it worked like that but, my experience for what it's worth.

I am looking forward to getting my son involved in scouts as well, in the next year or two.

 

[Kitty]

You know, I never had children and have wished many times that I had a son to do these things with, but the opportunity never arose. It's stories like this that make me want to volunteer, ya know? I turn 50 tomorrow and have spent some time these past few days wondering what if?

You know, it's never too late.

I remember one guy was was a Real Gentleman that used to help out with the Webelos and (I think) some of the Tenderfoots. He was a member of the church we met at. He had grown daughters and no grandchildren. He missed scouting. He was a great asset and being that he wasn't anybody's "dad" there were no favorites and such. He was a great model not only for scouting but "proper" behavior. Don't find many like that anymore.

Haven't spoken to him in about 5 years. I may just look him up now.

 

[goinggreyfast]

You know, it's never too late.

I remember one guy was was a Real Gentleman that used to help out with the Webelos and (I think) some of the Tenderfoots. He was a member of the church we met at. He had grown daughters and no grandchildren. He missed scouting. He was a great asset and being that he wasn't anybody's "dad" there were no favorites and such. He was a great model not only for scouting but "proper" behavior. Don't find many like that anymore.

Haven't spoken to him in about 5 years. I may just look him up now.

Having read Que's post, I'm seriously considering it Kitty. Being currently unemployed I have time now, but I would just hate to get a job that takes me out of town like my last one and then have to bail. It doesn't lend much to the consistency that these young men need.

 

[indysims]

I grew up in a small town in rural southern Illinois... I was in cub scouts and it was boring! No dad, all den mothers and we ended up doing arts and crafts every week. Pinewood derby was the only cool part and seemed to be the only part the dad's got involved in.

 

[Kitty]

Having read Que's post, I'm seriously considering it Kitty. Being currently unemployed I have time now, but I would just hate to get a job that takes me out of town like my last one and then have to bail. It doesn't lend much to the consistency that these young men need.

Personally, I think it would be more of a loss for you NOT to pass on/share what you know. Just my

 

[Kitty]

I grew up in a small town in rural southern Illinois... I was in cub scouts and it was boring! No dad, all den mothers and we ended up doing arts and crafts every week. Pinewood derby was the only cool part and seemed to be the only part the dad's got involved in.

I've heard that but it really depends on the Pack. I tried to keep the boys as active as possible. My boys had "day hikes" at least once a month where we did tracking, basic plant ID (the intro to skunk cabbage is great!), and talked about the rules about being out in the woods. We put on a play, basic science, water bottle rockets, had the Midlo PD bring in the dog for a demo, and tons of other stuff I've forgotten.

Like I said, in Cubs I didn't get much "dad" help but events were scheduled and boys showed. It was fun.

 

[CountryBoy19]

Wow, when I was in scouts all the leaders were male with the exception of one female leader in cub-scouts, that was because she was the mother of one of the scouts; her husband was also a scout leader so he wasn't "lacking".