Road rant inspired by the funny picture thread.

[jamil]

So you've probably seen this:

This is my star-laced rant.

Sorry people but I have a problem with that. It's just ****ing wrong.

The math says "zipper merging" is more efficient, faster. Merging early limits the overall road capacity. Even if everyone got in the same lane early, now the one lane carries all the traffic. More traffic per lane makes the the accordion affect much more likely much earlier than it would have anyway. It's more efficient to use all lanes until near the end, then alternate merging in, like a zipper.

However, what makes "zipper merging" not work is the driving moral majority who project their road ethos onto everyone else. They get all pissed off at the lane zippers and then won't let them in. STOP THAT! Those people aren't bad people for using all the lanes available until they're not available. They're just being smart about it.

But you guys who get all pissed off are ****ing up traffic even worse. Not letting people in causes them to have to stop. Stopped traffic makes everyone slower. Especially when the stopped car has to start again to jump in when someone finally lets them in. This causes the traffic behind them to go even slower. It's a closed loop cycle of slow-**** accordion action with no happy ending. Now you're pissed, they're pissed, everyone's pissed.

How about not getting pissed? Just be polite. Let people in before they have to stop. Then EVERYONE goes faster. And to the people merging in, please get yer ****ing head out of the phone and pay some ****ing attention. Don't stop unless you have to. Merge yer ass in when you have a safe opening, before you have to stop. Don't wait for an emailed invitation. Don't dawdle and make the guy letting you in have to stop too.

And sometimes there is a proper time to say "**** you" to people who want to merge in. Like when you know they want to take an exit that is backed up. So they merge into your lane to get 3 cars ahead of where they were before they jumped in front of you. And then want to merge back into the exiting lane. And since they're dickheads, no one wants to let them back in. So now I have to wait behind them until they can merge back. So now they're backing up two lanes. Yeah **** them.

And while we're at this rant, you guys that try to regulate the speed of people behind you in a traffic jam by slowing to keep 20 car lengths open in front of you. STOP THAT! In a traffic jam, when you leave a large space like that in front of you, that's wasted road space. Close the gap. Not too close. But you don't need a damn football field of open space in front of you. Let other drivers occupy some of that space.

/rant

 

[olhorseman]

So you've probably seen this:



This is my star-laced rant.

Sorry people but I have a problem with that. It's just ****ing wrong.

The math says "zipper merging" is more efficient, faster. Merging early limits the overall road capacity. Even if everyone got in the same lane early, now the one lane carries all the traffic. More traffic per lane makes the the accordion affect much more likely much earlier than it would have anyway. It's more efficient to use all lanes until near the end, then alternate merging in, like a zipper.

However, what makes "zipper merging" not work is the driving moral majority who project their road ethos onto everyone else. They get all pissed off at the lane zippers and then won't let them in. STOP THAT! Those people aren't bad people for using all the lanes available until they're not available. They're just being smart about it.

But you guys who get all pissed off are ****ing up traffic even worse. Not letting people in causes them to have to stop. Stopped traffic makes everyone slower. Especially when the stopped car has to start again to jump in when someone finally lets them in. This causes the traffic behind them to go even slower. It's a closed loop cycle of slow-**** accordion action with no happy ending. Now you're pissed, they're pissed, everyone's pissed.

How about not getting pissed? Just be polite. Let people in before they have to stop. Then EVERYONE goes faster. And to the people merging in, please get yer ****ing head out of the phone and pay some ****ing attention. Don't stop unless you have to. Merge yer ass in when you have a safe opening, before you have to stop. Don't wait for an emailed invitation. Don't dawdle and make the guy letting you in have to stop too.

And sometimes there is a proper time to say "**** you" to people who want to merge in. Like when you know they want to take an exit that is backed up. So they merge into your lane to get 3 cars ahead of where they were before they jumped in front of you. And then want to merge back into the exiting lane. And since they're dickheads, no one wants to let them back in. So now I have to wait behind them until they can merge back. So now they're backing up two lanes. Yeah **** them.

And while we're at this rant, you guys that try to regulate the speed of people behind you in a traffic jam by slowing to keep 20 car lengths open in front of you. STOP THAT! In a traffic jam, when you leave a large space like that in front of you, that's wasted road space. Close the gap. Not too close. But you don't need a damn football field of open space in front of you. Let other drivers occupy some of that space.

/rant

Nope, sorry still not letting you in

 

[long coat]

I'm with him ^^^

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

If the traffic "zippers" together 1/2 mile before the restriction versus 10 ft, it still zippers together and you're still limited by the construction zone traffic limit. There'd still be stopped or slowed traffic because of the merging and lowered speed limit. It's not like we'll all be cruising along at 65mph, then zip together at the construction zone and continue to cruise. No, if the traffic is sufficient it'll stop and backup as everybody adjusts.

If you're the only guy/gal that is not getting over until the last minute and then wondering why everyone else is being the ***-hole, it's entirely possible that it's not everyone else that are the ***-holes.

 

[eric001]

Not saying your rant isn't valid, at least from your point of view.

On the other hand, how does some impatient schmuck darting out of line in bumper to bumper traffic to use that disappearing merge lane just to drive up a few hundred feet and try to bull their way back in help traffic flow better? That is exactly what greedy schmucks do every day in rush hour traffic on 465. I've seen it too often not to get all pissed off about it. It's not efficiency motivating them, it is greed. Pure and simple. And I'll be damned if I enable them by letting them in. They can sit out there until they croak from old age as far as I'm concerned. And while I'm on this topic, those greedy individuals cause more close calls than anything else out there--trying to fit a whole car into a half-car open spot. I'm not just standing on empty emotion, I'm protecting my vehicle and myself from some greedy idiot that wants to take whatever they can, however they can. I am making it absolutely obvious that if there IS an accident, they caused it and as such will have to pay for it. You know, that whole thing about hitting someone from behind being the fault of the following driver and all...it's a little different if the asshat hits you in the side while trying to bull their way in.

And I'm not going to dispute "zipper math" findings, as I well know the difference between the theoretical world and the world of reality. Reality is full of greedy people who try to take anything they think they can get away with, and there are those of us who get rather pissed when they try to take it from us. Let 'em sit there and fume. I'll let someone in who actually comes up in a merge lane and merges, especially if they use these little things called turn signals, and are polite about it. But when I see them zooming up from a half mile back just to try to force their way in at the last second? Screw 'em.

 

[jamil]

If the traffic "zippers" together 1/2 mile before the restriction versus 10 ft, it still zippers together and you're still limited by the construction zone traffic limit. There'd still be stopped or slowed traffic because of the merging and lowered speed limit. It's not like we'll all be cruising along at 65mph, then zip together at the construction zone and continue to cruise. No, if the traffic is sufficient it'll stop and backup as everybody adjusts.

If you're the only guy/gal that is not getting over until the last minute and then wondering why everyone else is being the ***-hole, it's entirely possible that it's not everyone else that are the ***-holes.

1/2 mile is another 1/2 mile of accordion ****. The way I look at it, if I'm the only one who's in the lane that's closing a half mile before it closes, I'm assuming no one got the memo.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merge_(traffic)

There are much better articles on it but it came up first and I'm in a hurry.

 

[Brandon]

That gap I left in front of my bus full of students was so I could stop in an emergency - not to let you merge and slam on the brakes praying I stop in time.
You stopping in the left lane because I'm not slowing down the flow of traffic behind me is your problem, not mine - go to the next exit. It's really simple.

Even in my personal car/truck that gap is there so I can stop if I need to - not for your merging convenience.

 

[churchmouse]

Having logged zillions of Highway miles I see this but......always a but......I let a few cars in, there are several idiots flying up the right side and then try a pic-maneuver at the arrow sign.
Take this X's 10 in front of me and the theory goes out the window. They are not getting in.

I always try and do the merge thing but way to many self-centered butt heads out there. Nope, kindness is weakness on the big roads.....

 

[jamil]

Not saying your rant isn't valid, at least from your point of view.

On the other hand, how does some impatient schmuck darting out of line in bumper to bumper traffic to use that disappearing merge lane just to drive up a few hundred feet and try to bull their way back in help traffic flow better? That is exactly what greedy schmucks do every day in rush hour traffic on 465. I've seen it too often not to get all pissed off about it. It's not efficiency motivating them, it is greed. Pure and simple. And I'll be damned if I enable them by letting them in. They can sit out there until they croak from old age as far as I'm concerned. And while I'm on this topic, those greedy individuals cause more close calls than anything else out there--trying to fit a whole car into a half-car open spot. I'm not just standing on empty emotion, I'm protecting my vehicle and myself from some greedy idiot that wants to take whatever they can, however they can. I am making it absolutely obvious that if there IS an accident, they caused it and as such will have to pay for it. You know, that whole thing about hitting someone from behind being the fault of the following driver and all...it's a little different if the asshat hits you in the side while trying to bull their way in.

And I'm not going to dispute "zipper math" findings, as I well know the difference between the theoretical world and the world of reality. Reality is full of greedy people who try to take anything they think they can get away with, and there are those of us who get rather pissed when they try to take it from us. Let 'em sit there and fume. I'll let someone in who actually comes up in a merge lane and merges, especially if they use these little things called turn signals, and are polite about it. But when I see them zooming up from a half mile back just to try to force their way in at the last second? Screw 'em.

As I said, there is a time when "**** you" is important. If what people are doing impedes traffic more, yeah, **** 'em.

 

[jamil]

Having logged zillions of Highway miles I see this but......always a but......I let a few cars in, there are several idiots flying up the right side and then try a pic-maneuver at the arrow sign.
Take this X's 10 in front of me and the theory goes out the window. They are not getting in.

I always try and do the merge thing but way to many self-centered butt heads out there. Nope, kindness is weakness on the big roads.....

Having logged 9 years on Spaghetti junction in Louisville I've experienced countless hours of stop-and-go traffic to think things through. Courtesy on the road is most efficient when most people are courteous. I try to do my part. I try not to cause even more slowness. But sometimes saying "**** you" to the *******s just has to be said. Butt heads suck.

 

[MohawkSlim]

I won't dispute the math involved but it assumes everyone knows how to merge.

Everyone does not.

People in America are taught to be defensive drivers and therefore, are extremely timid when it's time to change lanes. Because of that, some pause and end up messing up the flow. Anywhere in America - and I mean ANYWHERE! - people are required to merge there will be a delay. We're just not ready for merges at speed. For evidence of this just look at any roundabout. People stop in the roundabout! "Oh, you go ahead."

Construction zone merges add the @$$#ole component. "Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact." If folks would simply keep their speed up and go for it when an opportunity to merge arises they'd be fine. Instead, they either gun it and tick everyone off or they hesitate and get stuck out there. Invariably, some "goody two shoes" stops to let them in and everyone behind them slaps the stuffing out of their dash and curses both drivers. "Awww why'd you let that piece of $#!t in???"

I sure can curse when I'm behind the wheel. Surprisingly though, I use the "See you next Tuesday" word and "f--kstick" the most. What are your words of choice?

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

If we're talking about maximizing the number of vehicles that can get past a given point per minute or hour or whatever, the zipper method or late merge does no good. It counts on people carefully choreographing their driving and I don't know anywhere that actually happens. It's usually a majority of people just trying to get along in a frustrating situation with a few people that think their time is more valuable than everybody else playing the system and suckers that leave too much room between themselves and the car in front of them or the tendency to avoid body damage when that speedster forces him/herself back in line.

The late merge method has not been found to increase throughput (throughput is the number of vehicles that pass through a point in a given period of time).

 

[ArcadiaGP]

I've only seen cops pull over people that merge last-second. I've never seen an early merger get pulled over.

/SHRUG.

 

[churchmouse]

Only so many cars can pass a certain point single file in a given time at construction zone speeds.

How they get into that line really makes little difference if the flow past the merge point is steady.

 

[bocefus78]

That gap I left in front of my bus full of students was so I could stop in an emergency - not to let you merge and slam on the brakes praying I stop in time.
You stopping in the left lane because I'm not slowing down the flow of traffic behind me is your problem, not mine - go to the next exit. It's really simple.

Even in my personal car/truck that gap is there so I can stop if I need to - not for your merging convenience.

Finally, somebody that understands my truck and loaded trailer is not capable of stopping like some rainbow painted obummer sticker wearing 1500lb prius. Wanna cut somebody off? I suggest doing it to someone in a small car.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Having logged 9 years on Spaghetti junction in Louisville I've experienced countless hours of stop-and-go traffic to think things through. Courtesy on the road is most efficient when most people are courteous. I try to do my part. I try not to cause even more slowness. But sometimes saying "**** you" to the *******s just has to be said. Butt heads suck.

 

[jamil]

If we're talking about maximizing the number of vehicles that can get past a given point per minute or hour or whatever, the zipper method or late merge does no good. It counts on people carefully choreographing their driving and I don't know anywhere that actually happens. It's usually a majority of people just trying to get along in a frustrating situation with a few people that think their time is more valuable than everybody else playing the system and suckers that leave too much room between themselves and the car in front of them or the tendency to avoid body damage when that speedster forces him/herself back in line.

[video=youtube_share;ZcPby71TNC0]http://youtu.be/ZcPby71TNC0[/video]

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

[video=youtube_share;ZcPby71TNC0]http://youtu.be/ZcPby71TNC0[/video]

Traffic still moves at the speed of the slowest driver in the contruction zone. The backed up line of traffic will be shorter but you'll still only go through the zone as dictated by the speed of the drivers in front of you. At the zip point, you'll still have to slow down and allow traffic to merge and the traffic will back up depending on the volume of traffic at the time.

What we really ought to be complaining about is why do they create construction zones for such lengths that causes us to poke along at 45mph for miles while no work is occurring and the road is serviceable for many of those miles.

 

[actaeon277]

I let people "zipper in" as you say.
Till the END.
They passed 10 cars so they can "jump" in line.
F them.

 

[jamil]

Well, it certainly doesn't work when most of you think I'm using the other lane to be an *******. And because you think I'm just trying to be an *******, you do all you can to prevent me from merging in. But please try to consider the possibility that perhaps you're just projecting, and I'm not trying to be an ******* at all. I'm trying to use as much of the available lanes as I can.

Here's a tip on how to merge back in without slowing anyone else down. And I usually am able to merge in whether you want me to or not, and I can do it without actually impacting you much at all.

I'll continue to use the lane that's closing until I get within a several hundred feet of where it closes. Then I start shopping for an opening. Since most people merge early there is always the accordion affect happening, and the lane that's closing usually moves faster. The key is to get back in without having to stop, and so that you don't slow other people down when you merge.

Find he point in the accordion where cars have stopped, and just ahead of them you can see where they're starting up again. Adjust your speed accordingly. There are always people who aren't very on the ball and dawdle. Find the dawdler and merge into the space between them and the cars that have already started moving. That idiot dawdler is holding you up anyway so it doesn't really impact you much for me to get in front of him/her. I'm already up to speed and the dawdler doesn't usually catch up for quite some time.

Also you can take advantage of what I call the "speed regulators" that leave 20 car lengths of open lane in front of them. They think they're helping, but they're only stealing lane space from the people behind them. Feel free to merge in front of them and take up some of that space that they're stealing from those behind them. They might wave at you, but I'm sure they're just being polite. But I've noticed they don't always have all their fingers. They typically wave just one.