I am required by my wife to "unload" and lock up my guns.
Yes. With our children she would rather have it unchambered and in the safe.
It sounds like your wife is a threat to your personal safety. It's a surprise that she wasn't aware that you took your safety seriously before you married her.
If my wife made me unload my guns, I would carry a revolver until I could get rid of her and marry someone who wasn't irrationally afraid of inanimate objects.
Certain compromises are necessary in any relationship, but I would not live anywhere where I could not have any firearm available for self defense. A wife who requires you to live like that needs to seriously reconsider her wedding vows.