No joy for my 13 year old son at the range

[LarryC]

Yup, I have done very similar things in the past as my wife and I raised 6 children (his / hers and ours). If they acted up in a restaurant at any age they were promptly escorted out and the offender and I sat in the car while the family ate. Think this happened once or twice - not to the same child by the way. I had a cardinal rule with all of them ~ when I yelled STOP all would freeze and wait for me to explain. ANY time they did not, my hand caused their behind to become red. This was done as we had an alley beside our side yard and cars didn't always drive responsibly. They were talking about this a few months ago - said they would probably still freeze - laughing as they are now in their late forties and early 50's. Haven't heard any complaints about the strict upbringing they had - most have raised their children in the same manner.

You did the right thing, your son will be mad for a while, but probably won't get an "attitude" the next time you instruct him in firearms or some other subject. When he becomes an adult he will thank you for caring enough to put up with the problems and still raise him correctly.

I remember when I was a youngster (in the 1940's), I and my friends were kind of proud when our parents cared enough to correct us ~ even when we couldn't sit comfortably for a few hours!

 

[Que]

I see nothing wrong with having him sit in the car. You may want to consider allowing someone else to train him. We all have probably gone thought the phase where we take the word of other adults over our parents. I saw ATF teach a little girl to shoot and she was hitting steel at 250 yards after only a short period of time. I know girls are easier to train, but there is still a chance someone else will get through to him and he'll be like, "Dad, you were right!" Well, probably not, but there is always a chance.

 

[Scuba591]

Thanks for all the positive comments. In the past, he is usually attentive and safe. I'm going to chalk it up to the teen years. I agree that at times kids learn better from other adults... My circle of friends have used this many times . I am hoping that him watching my daughter and I have fun will ingrain in him a good lesson. By the way, my daughter and I shot one of those "you sank my battleship" targets.. and for a nine year old, she did great. sank three of my ships with 20 shots from a distance of 25 yards using a Savage Rascal

 

[woodsie57]

I think you both exhibited your share of bullheadedness. You told him not to hold the gun that way and why; If he requires a whack on the thumb to drive the point into his head, so be it.

 

[Mgderf]

"Slide bite" is nothing to play around with.
I've taught the NSSF's (National Shooting Sports Foundation) "First Shots" program for about 3 years now.
I've helped put more than 500 people through their "First shots".
There are some people that we have to remind for 8 or 10 shots before they remember. We are VERY good about catching them before injury, but no-one is perfect.
We have had about 3 or 4 that slipped by us and ripped open the web of their hand or the thumb.

I've not seen any injury that would have resulted in permanent damage, but I dare say none of them did it again.

I might have made him sit at the bench and watch, but he's your kid and I wasn't there.

You did the correct thing.

 

[beararms1776]

You did the right thing, rightfully and respectfully so.

 

[nipprdog]

Good Call; with firearms - its the safe way or no. period. end.

Now hopefully the lesson is learned.

Agreed. Well Done. I've been teaching my nephew's son and daughter recently(similar age). And they've been told, "Follow the rules, or we go home".

 

[USMC_0311]

I make my teenager hold targets when his attitude needs adjusting.​

He won the Indiana Junior Outdoor Pistol Championship last year, so I do excerise do deligence when diciplining. Shooting can be a great motivator in more ways then one.

 

[1911ly]

It was a great call on your part. I had similar issues with my son when he started shooting. I love shooting with my kids and I am not afraid to knock them down a peg over safety. This mind set carries on to life itself! Shooting is a great way to teach responsibility. It's rewarding to get to do it. As well as getting to do it. My son matured so much that first summer off shooting. he was 10

Last year was my daughters first time out. My son was all over her about safety and grip. He was 12 and she was 17! I wish I'd have started earlier in there life's.

Keep up the good discipline! +1 to you!

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

I know I'm more than fortunate with my kids. We sailed through those teen years with very little trouble, just a little "adventure" now and then.

When they were young, 8 and 10, we had a spot to shoot out behind the house we lived in at the time and they both did a little shooting with me back then and they both were so eager to learn to shoot the .22 pistol that they listened and paid attention.

Nothing cooler than spending a day at the range with my son, whose 29 now and a far better shooter than me.

 

[87iroc]

Pain is a good teacher. Let him smash his thumb....once is all it's going to take.

I thought thats where the story was headed.

 

[churchmouse]

Son, as you know everything and are way smarter than I am you should move out now. The world is waiting for someone of your intelligence.

Something I told my son around 14.

 

[Slawburger]

I see nothing wrong with having him sit in the car. You may want to consider allowing someone else to train him. We all have probably gone thought the phase where we take the word of other adults over our parents. I saw ATF teach a little girl to shoot and she was hitting steel at 250 yards after only a short period of time. I know girls are easier to train, but there is still a chance someone else will get through to him and he'll be like, "Dad, you were right!" Well, probably not, but there is always a chance.

Oh, he will say "Dad, you were right" but it might take another 10-15 years. I wish I was still as smart as I was when I was a teenager.

 

[87iroc]

Thanks for all the positive comments. In the past, he is usually attentive and safe. I'm going to chalk it up to the teen years. I agree that at times kids learn better from other adults... My circle of friends have used this many times . I am hoping that him watching my daughter and I have fun will ingrain in him a good lesson. By the way, my daughter and I shot one of those "you sank my battleship" targets.. and for a nine year old, she did great. sank three of my ships with 20 shots from a distance of 25 yards using a Savage Rascal

I need to know more about this....can you give me a link? I never thought about having a 'competition' with my daughter at the range. That sounds like fun!

Found it...actually an easier google-fu move than I thought.

https://www.birchwoodcasey.com/Targets/PREGAME/PREGAME®-12-x-18-Battle-at-Sea™-Target.aspx

 

[Scuba591]

I need to know more about this....can you give me a link? I never thought about having a 'competition' with my daughter at the range. That sounds like fun!

Found it...actually an easier google-fu move than I thought.

https://www.birchwoodcasey.com/Targets/PREGAME/PREGAME®-12-x-18-Battle-at-Sea™-Target.aspx

That is the one. We each took turns of 10 shots each then another set of 10 each. We were running out of time so we stopped at 20 shots. It is something a little different than those steel .22 spinners. Lots of fun. Next time we may use semi auto instead of bolt action and see who can sink all before the other.

 

[miguel]

Tough choice but the right one. Anytime we go to the range, the rule is, "If at any point you don't do what I instruct, you are done..."

 

[shootamc58]

GREAT JOB. It is hard sometimes to disappoint your kids. My dad used to have a great saying. "I'm your dad, not your best friend. I would like to be both and someday we will, but right now only one has to happen. You guess which one." I'll never forget that and find myself saying it to my kids now.

 

[looney2ns]

Op, just remember, YOU will get much smarter when your son gets into his 20's.

 

[2A_Tom]

Pain is a good teacher. Let him smash his thumb....once is all it's going to take.

I think you both exhibited your share of bullheadedness. You told him not to hold the gun that way and why; If he requires a whack on the thumb to drive the point into his head, so be it.

Please never have children or train other's.

"Slide bite" is nothing to play around with.
I've taught the NSSF's (National Shooting Sports Foundation) "First Shots" program for about 3 years now.
I've helped put more than 500 people through their "First shots".
There are some people that we have to remind for 8 or 10 shots before they remember. We are VERY good about catching them before injury, but no-one is perfect.
We have had about 3 or 4 that slipped by us and ripped open the web of their hand or the thumb.

I've not seen any injury that would have resulted in permanent damage, but I dare say none of them did it again.

I might have made him sit at the bench and watch, but he's your kid and I wasn't there.

You did the correct thing.

Thank you for your commitment to training.

I make my teenager hold targets when his attitude needs adjusting.​

He won the Indiana Junior Outdoor Pistol Championship last year, so I do excerise do deligence when diciplining. Shooting can be a great motivator in more ways then one.

Making him hold targets down range is a little drastic don't you think?

Well, at least you can blame the poor groups on his flinch rather than yours.

 

[88GT]

First, I have no problem with what you did. I'm not one to criticize someone else's parenting choices.

Second, I have teen daughters (similar, but different, set of problems) and my son won't be a teen for a couple more years. I'm trying to anticipate what I would do in your situation. Did you show him mechanically how you could teach him that he was doing it wrong, but it would be much more painful? I would've been tempted to say, "You think you got it all figured out? Let's see how that works out for you."

I mean, that almost seems like the classic you-only-touch-the-hot-burner-one-time type lesson.

Again, please don't think I'm criticizing, just trying to figure out how the discussion would go.

ETA: My son has been shooting 2x already with .22LR long guns and been very attentive and rule-conscious. (More than his dad on 1 occasion.)

All of this but one more thought: why did you wait until he was a teenager?

And a more general observation: where are we in society that this kind of parenting responses actually gets a high-five pat on the back? NOT that I am in anyway implying that it wasn't the appropriate, or at least an appropriate response. But I think we would all be better off if it weren't newsworthy. A "Well, yeah." should be our acknowledgement.