Neighbors wife had an accident today.

[LEaSH]

My girl bends up more sheet metal than *insert nascar driver here*. So we got her a used saturn hoping that the panels would bounce back. I've found that really they just shift when forces act on them in ways they were not designed. And the panels don't always shift back into their proper position.

 

[HighStrung]

You don't know that, as my wife would say "women are the worst drivers" Seriously, even though by law she may not be the one at fault, people do stupid things such as standing on their brakes for no reason. I understand you're trying to be consoling, I get that.

She was sitting at a stop light and the dildo behind her decided not to stop.

Anyway, to each his own. That guy has to (presumably) pay at least a portion of the bill to get the car fixed, you don't. Also, it's never as good as it was before it was damaged. You also don't know what kind of day they were having, and do you know 100% what was said before you wandered up? Was there a cell phone conversation you weren't privy too?

I had been down at this neighbors house for over an hour. I was there before she left for the grocery store and was there when she returned. I can confidently say that they were having a fine day prior to this incident.

Personally I can't stand nosy busy body neighbors jumping into the middle of every and any situation that transpires in the front yard/drive way.

Neither can I, had I not been there when she returned I wouldn't have had anything to say about the matter.

Why are concerned over this in the least? It's no skin off your back or money out of your wallet? Why the rush to "git all up 'n yo neighbors bid-niz"?

Because I don't like to hear a man treating a woman like $hit because she was in an accident that was of someone elses fault. I didn't come running down the street trying to save her from the world. I told him to shut up so that he could calm down and not knee-jerk react to the situation and say things/treat his wife in ways that he'd regret later (which he has already apologized to me and his wife for his initial reactions). I don't go butting into everyone business, just the same as I don't want someone worrying about mine. Point is, they are friends of mine and I feel that if the situation were reversed he would have done the same thing. Isn't that something friends do, intervene when someone is out of line?[/quote]

Though I understand your point (somewhat), maybe I should have been more clear. These are friends of my wife and I's, they have been neighbors for over 5 years and we're down hanging out with them a lot. We go to concerts together, our kids play together, etc. Had this been someone that I didn't really know, things may have been different, may not have. My biggest issue is the fact that this is not common behavior for this guy. It's not how he handles himself regularly, nor is this how he usually treats his wife. This is the biggest reason I had something to say. I too have been out of line for one reason or another in my past and wish that I had someone (a friend) to put me back in check before I did something that I would regret later. I understand that the car will never be the same, trust me as my wife has decided to tangle with semi before and they didn't total the car. Reguardless, the car is just a car, money is just money, but the person in the car IS what matters.

 

[Que]

They never forget!! I have been married 26 years this November. I still hear about things I said,did or neglected to do in the 1980's.

The only thing I don't like concerning the OP is that a man law was broken. No man should show up another man in front of that man's wife. Now, she (the neighbor) will recall this years down the road, as I said, but she will also remember how "cool" the OP was and that her "jerk" husband did not size up to him.

Now, it would have been better to pull the guy to the side and talk to him, allowing him the opportunity to save face sooner, but hopefully it's not too late. As it goes now, she will always see the OP as being a bigger man, in that particular instance. Just make sure, in this close relationship, she doesn't start touching you and laughing at all of your corny jokes more that normally.

 

[MrsGungho]

The only thing I don't like concerning the OP is that a man law was broken. No man should show up another man in front of that man's wife. Now, she (the neighbor) will recall this years down the road, as I said, but she will also remember how "cool" the OP was and that her "jerk" husband did not size up to him.

Now, it would have been better to pull the guy to the side and talk to him, allowing him the opportunity to save face sooner, but hopefully it's not too late. As it goes now, she will always see the OP as being a bigger man, in that particular instance. Just make sure, in this close relationship, she doesn't start touching you and laughing at all of your corny jokes more that normally.

don't want your wife to think you're a jerk, simple answer really. Don't act like one. The OP had nothing to do with this man being a jerk, he was handling that all to well on his own. Last I heard, guys don't like their friends pulling them off to the side to point out what they are doing wrong. If he doesn't know by now how to treat a woman, I doubt the OP can teach him.

 

[LEaSH]

As a general rule, it's never cool to kick somebody when they're down. The next time mine gets in a fender bender - and she will, I will be as comforting as I was the last 5 times. Make her some tea, ice cream, whatever - point is, it doesn't even matter if it is her fault or not. And me being a jerk about the situation aint going to change the situation.
I save my jerk points for other things I do wrong.

 

[Prometheus]

Though I understand your point (somewhat), maybe I should have been more clear. These are friends of my wife and I's, they have been neighbors for over 5 years and we're down hanging out with them a lot. We go to concerts together, our kids play together, etc. Had this been someone that I didn't really know, things may have been different, may not have. My biggest issue is the fact that this is not common behavior for this guy. It's not how he handles himself regularly, nor is this how he usually treats his wife. This is the biggest reason I had something to say. I too have been out of line for one reason or another in my past and wish that I had someone (a friend) to put me back in check before I did something that I would regret later. I understand that the car will never be the same, trust me as my wife has decided to tangle with semi before and they didn't total the car. Reguardless, the car is just a car, money is just money, but the person in the car IS what matters.

Fair enough. I agree (in this sort of situation) that money is just money.

 

[HandK]

Stuff is just that stuff!!! It can be replaced, you can never replace a person,

 

[Que]

don't want your wife to think you're a jerk, simple answer really. Don't act like one. The OP had nothing to do with this man being a jerk, he was handling that all to well on his own. Last I heard, guys don't like their friends pulling them off to the side to point out what they are doing wrong. If he doesn't know by now how to treat a woman, I doubt the OP can teach him.

Well, he said they were close and even if my wife and I are good friends with a couple, my friendship is closer to the man and my wife's is closer to the woman. My true friends can talk to me about anything, that's what a friend does. I don't know too many guys who blow off their real buddies... even in civilian life.

I'm definitely not saying that the husband was proper and decent in any way, but maybe he just let the situation get him out of character. The OP didn't say this was normal behavior for him, but if it were, why are they still so close?

I've acted like a jerk to my wife before and I'm certainly not proud of it. However, after 20 years (and it didn't take that long ), I've learned to get over being selfish and insensitive. Maybe the neighbor just needs a few years (or even this occurrence) under his belt to get over himself.

I have no doubt the OP was being a good friend. Like I insinuated, in this situation it's easy to unwittingly gain the affection of a woman and lose that of your buddy. That's why man-law #675 exists!

 

[HighStrung]

The only thing I don't like concerning the OP is that a man law was broken. No man should show up another man in front of that man's wife. Now, she (the neighbor) will recall this years down the road, as I said, but she will also remember how "cool" the OP was and that her "jerk" husband did not size up to him.

Now, it would have been better to pull the guy to the side and talk to him, allowing him the opportunity to save face sooner, but hopefully it's not too late. As it goes now, she will always see the OP as being a bigger man, in that particular instance. Just make sure, in this close relationship, she doesn't start touching you and laughing at all of your corny jokes more that normally.

I have to agree that I should've pulled him off to the side and addressed the issue there. It wasn't like I belittled him or made myself a bigger man. I just told him to shut up and that things were going to be okay, yada, yada, yada. It just really upset me that he got his priorities screwed up over something like this. After I came home and vented on here, I walked back down there and the first thing he did was offer me a beer and we talked about things. We (my buddy and I) are fine.

 

[Dockem]

Highstrung - great signature quotes

Great quotes by Thomas Jefferson. The guy was truly a patriot that understood government and it's resposibilities.
Thanks, sent these to a few friends for the 4th of July. (And November elections!)

 

[Que]

I have to agree that I should've pulled him off to the side and addressed the issue there. It wasn't like I belittled him or made myself a bigger man. I just told him to shut up and that things were going to be okay, yada, yada, yada. It just really upset me that he got his priorities screwed up over something like this. After I came home and vented on here, I walked back down there and the first thing he did was offer me a beer and we talked about things. We (my buddy and I) are fine.

from the beginning! I wasn't trying to belabor the point or down you in any way.

BTW, my wife usually backs into something within the first two to three months after purchasing a new car (1991, 1995, 1998, and 2003). This is no exaggeration! I've never blown up over this and even remember laughing in 2003. I got her a SUV (she likes to call it a truck) in 2009 and it's remained dent free.

 

[Benny]

from the beginning! I wasn't trying to belabor the point or down you in any way.

BTW, my wife usually backs into something within the first two to three months after purchasing a new car (1991, 1995, 1998, and 2003). This is no exaggeration! I've never blown up over this and even remember laughing in 2003. I got her a SUV (she likes to call it a truck) in 2009 and it's remained dent free.

Uh, no need to state the obvious...We are talking about a woman here, right?

 

[Soundslikejosh]

The only thing I don't like concerning the OP is that a man law was broken. No man should show up another man in front of that man's wife. Now, she (the neighbor) will recall this years down the road, as I said, but she will also remember how "cool" the OP was and that her "jerk" husband did not size up to him.

Now, it would have been better to pull the guy to the side and talk to him, allowing him the opportunity to save face sooner, but hopefully it's not too late. As it goes now, she will always see the OP as being a bigger man, in that particular instance. Just make sure, in this close relationship, she doesn't start touching you and laughing at all of your corny jokes more that normally.

I have to disagree, I think your statement is bull. The husband started it all up by acting like a jerk, at which point he opened himself up to being called a jerk. The OP was actually fairly nice from the sounds of things. This crap about "pull him aside", are we really still in the third grade? Grow a pair, or at least some thicker skin. This wasn't a long, in depth conversation (where a private setting might be more appropriate), it was a quick, verbal *****-slap to get him to stop being a jerk. The husband earned it, and if he is embarrassed he can blame himself.

Lets flip it around- if Guy Friend #1 were mouthing off to Guy Friend #2, would you still think it necessary to intervene privately? Is this simply a husband/wife dynamic? I guess I can't roll with the "don't show up the man" thing and all the associated gender roles. The wife already sees he's a jerk, you pointing it out doesn't change anything. Let's call a spade a spade.

 

[Angie]

don't want your wife to think you're a jerk, simple answer really. Don't act like one. The OP had nothing to do with this man being a jerk, he was handling that all to well on his own. Last I heard, guys don't like their friends pulling them off to the side to point out what they are doing wrong. If he doesn't know by now how to treat a woman, I doubt the OP can teach him.

 

[Joe Williams]

I told my wife that if she wrecks my classic truck, I won't love her anymore.

 

[chef larry]

I have always found you are rich with friends, not money or things.