My wife said she needs me to take her to the range! Help please!

[mettle]

Here words were "Well, if you aren't home and someone comes in, I need to be able to use one of 'those' guns. I guess when we get back (on vacation in FL. right now) you need to take me to Martinsville and show me how".

I was driving, swerved all over the road and struggled to focus on it! woohoo!

Now I'm ready to head home and take her to the range, time to get the 'wheels in motion'!

I was first going to explain safety, 4 steps. Then I was going to explain how all pistols have basics features of operation and what to look for in identifying/clarifying a loaded/non-loaded pistol or not.

I was thinking a Ruger 22/45 and a G19. I had thought of starting her on the Ruger just to break her into the noise and violent event. Since I have 2 19's, I really had thought, depending on her disposition after the range, that one could be the 'home' gun where she and I both know where it is for use.

Any suggestions? Thoughs? She would be VERY turned off by showing a gay video of worthless fags crying over an AR.

Real suggestions, personal experiences and successful ideas would be great.

 

[techres]

Safety first, then start with .22 pistol and move up. Take 1/3 time on pistols. Then move over to .22 rifle and move up. Take 1/3 time on rifles. Then stop and ask what she wants to do with the last 1/3 of the time.

Don't forget stances. And discuss "stopping" vs. "killing" and basic laws & mindset related to self defense. Do it all in the same professional manner you would an unrelated shooter. She will take this lesson as what all shooters are like so no mistakes, no goofery, and especially no bloody ND!

It does rock, no?

And the next time you take a newbie, take your wife with you and she can feel like an expert.

 

[Shay]

Danger! Danger! Danger!

Husbands and boyfriends make the worst instructors for their mates. This is especially true of firearms/defense training. All that relationship stuff that exists between a couple comes out in times of stress and uncertainty and training can definitely be a time of stress and uncertainty.

My advice is to find an NRA First Steps or Basic Pistol class in your area and talk to her about signing up. Let someone else take the lead on starting her firearms education.

 

[melensdad]

Got to agree with Shay on this topic.

If you can't get her to a real class, then get a trusted friend who is known for gun safety to teach her the basics. Husbands should not teach wives how to shoot gun or drive cars.

 

[Bubbajms]

Good point, Shay.. my dad was unable to teach my mom to drive a manual transmission, so they ended up having an outside 3rd party do it..

My wife is an American Red Cross instructor, teaching somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 CPR folks a year and 25-50 lifeguards. I'm a DHS-Certified Instructor myself. We're both good at learning and teaching, and while we *can* teach each other things, sometimes it's better to have someone else do the dirty work

 

[Clay]

Husbands and boyfriends make the worst instructors for their mates.

I tried to explain this to my wife...... but she doesnt want to go to "some gun class".

 

[Soundslikejosh]

Of course you know your wife better than we do, but my suggestion in general is don't overwhelm newbs. You are eager to tell her everything you know about guns, but she's probably isn't eager to hear all of it.

Think about this- If you had to explain to her the most important aspects of shooting in five sentences, what would you say. In high school I had a history teacher who would not allow you to write more than five sentences on an essay answer. His opinion was that if you couldn't convey your message in five sentences, you didn't have a strong enough command of your topic. Now that isn't necessarily true, but the point is brevity. Work on the presumption that you have a limited amount of time before she becomes saturated with new information and you have to stop talking. Be prepared so that when it is time for you to stop teaching (for that day), you have said the most salient things.

This is a whole new experience for the Mrs. and unless she is really digging it, you will lose ground by trying to tell her everything under the sun. As long as you do it correctly, there will be other chances in the future, so don't feel anxious to cover too much info. Remember how slowly you acquired it?

Lastly, if you don't have a lightweight .22 pistol that she can comfortably shoot, call me to borrow one. I lost a lot of ground and had to wait another whole year before my girlfriend would come shooting again because the first time out she shot a G19. Please re-read the last two sentences! I know you said you have a 22/45, but have her hold it at the house and see if she can manage the weight, grip, etc so that your first time out is a success. This is paramount. It is better to hit targets at five yards than miss targets at 15 yards. If the gun is too much for her to manage, borrow something she can work with. I'd be glad to contribute however I can. I've been in your shoes.

Good luck.

 

[Archbishop]

I took my wife to the range the other day for the first time and decided the only thing I would do is get her used to the idea of the load noises and recoil. Of course basic safety should go with saying. The idea of stances, breathing, etc.? Whatever. The first time to the range is not enough time to develope bad habits, and I thought it was more important to keep the pressure off and focus on getting over the "nerves".
The next time we go we'll go with a another couple who are good friends of ours and he is a good instructor and I'll let him fill in the details.
That's my two cents worth.

 

[techres]

If your wife is willing to take a class, great. Mine was not willing for fear of embarassment or political fighting, or whatever. She trusted me to be careful and maybe because of the training I do for Appleseed she was willing to trust me not to be a jerk. I dunno.

My wife had to come a long, long way to take a firearm in her hand. She likes to say that I "changed her politics on guns without changing her politics" and for that reason she would have to really know someone well to let them train her.

Normally, yep, trainers train wives better but sometimes that is not an option.

 

[Soundslikejosh]

In response to Archbishop and the loud sound... another great reason to start with a .22. Also, consider using both plugs and muffs at the same time. It's harder to communicate, but will make the process more enjoyable.

 

[melensdad]

Somewhat related, I taught my daughter to shoot (my wife was trained by the ROTC).

We had a couple lessons on gun safety before she ever even touched the gun. I think it was 4 lessons before we even took the gun outside. She learned on a little Ruger 10/22 rifle. But I think that approach really helped her out.

The first lesson was just talking about the safe rules of gun handling (there is a Sticky thread here on INGO of Jeff Cooper's gun rules). We went through every rule and she memorized them. That was all there was to lesson 1.

Lesson 2 started with her repeating those rules learned in lesson 1. We then went through each rule in more detail, basically talking about "what if" scenarios and how they apply to the rules. So "what if" the gun jams, what do you do with the gun? Or "what if" you want to check on your target, what do you do with the gun? Or what if you want to stop shooting to ask a question, what do you do with the gun?

Lesson 3 or maybe 4 was learning about the specific gun and then relate its parts to other guns (all guns have a trigger, some are easy to pull, others are hard to pull, some have a short pull others have a long pull, etc)

Then we went shooting.

Now if it was me, I would use the long drive home to discuss guns but do it in a logical progression. If you don't teach her at the range (because you are smart enough to heed these warnings) then you will have given her a dose of what the instructor will teach her and you have prepared her for what she will be encountering. She will also realize that guns are not just about having fun while shooting, but they are also about personal responsibility and accountability.

If you are going to ignore the advice and take her shooting, then do NOT take the Glock with you. Simply avoid the temptation. Take 1 gun, make it the little 22 rimfire. Buy her a set of powder blue or pink ear muffs and a new set of safety goggles that she can call her own. . . surprise her with this stuff wrapped up in a gift package, don't take her to Bass Pro/GanderMTN and walk her down the aisles looking at all sorts of gear and then buy her the muffs as a reward for the fact that she survived 2 hours of you walking around with your head in the clouds!

Make everything NON-threatening. Get some fun targets like cartoon characters, dart boards, garden gnomes (download them off the internet free of charge, do a search for free targets there are many websites that have lots of choices) that will give her some variety. NO HUMAN BODY shaped targets. You are teaching her gun safety and gun handling not self defense against 2 legged predators. . . that education can/should come at a later date.

Make a 'date' out of going to the range. Shooting and then lunch. Shooting and a picnic in the park. Shooting and dinner, followed by a movie.

But all that said, I'd still encourage you to get her to a real instructor.

 

[kludge]

I will second, third, whatever, the recommendation to find a class for her if she is willing. Many instructors will do this one-on-one so there won't be any chance of getting in to "politics" and the talk about "shooting people"... but in my experience this doesn't happen much anyway, and that's not what the class is for. Most people in a first time gun owners class aren't into the whole political aspect of gun ownership and RKBA; we're just looking to teach safety, safety, safety, proper handling and manipulation and marksmanship fundamentals... so they have something to work on and come back to to improve their skills.

As for pistol targets, I like .22's and paper plates at 15 feet with wrists on sandbags. It's easy to see where you hit and builds confidence early. Start there, and when you get a good baseball size group in the center of the target, then work on the two handed standing position. Come back to the sandbags when moving up in caliber. A full size 9mm or 4" .38 Special is a good "step up" gun.

I avoid starting at 50 feet or 25 yards with new shooter, becuase they'll not usually be hitting a target at that distance making it much harder to diagnose whether they "tightening" or "heeling" their grip in anticipation of the recoil/noise.

For .22 rifles, again I avoid black bullseyes at the start because it's hard to see the hits. Take a Sharpie(R) and draw a circle around a quarter (paper plates work for this too, and they're really cheap). 50 ft is a good place to start with .22 rifle, and again from a sandbag. Once all the hits are inside the ring (shouldn't take too long from sandbags with proper sight picture trigger squeeze and breathing), then you can start with prone and standing position.

Given the choice between the two I would start with the rifle and then transition to a pistol, simply becuase sight alignment is a bit easier to teach on a rifle.

 

[Joe Williams]

Take just the .22 pistol. Use big targets, paper plates or 8x11 paper work fine. Use short ranges, 5 yards max. I think 3 or so is better. You want her (or any new shooter, of course) to hit the target. It gives them a sense of pride, accomplishment, keeps them from needlessly feeling like an idiot, and makes it fun for them. If it's fun for them, they may very well find they enjoy shooting just for the sake of shooting, not just to learn to use a gun in an emergency. IOW, you could turn your wife into a shooting buddy.

I suggest sticking with one gun simply because it keeps things simple. The new shooter won't have to worry about being overwhelmed trying to learned different guns. The Glock, with it's extra noise and recoil and intimidation factor, can come a couple trips later. Just take it to the range, set it on the bench, and if she's ready to shoot it she'll ask.

 

[Bisley Man]

How about training dvds and soft air guns to start out?

 

[repair]

Danger! Danger! Danger!

Husbands and boyfriends make the worst instructors for their mates. This is especially true of firearms/defense training. All that relationship stuff that exists between a couple comes out in times of stress and uncertainty and training can definitely be a time of stress and uncertainty.

My advice is to find an NRA First Steps or Basic Pistol class in your area and talk to her about signing up. Let someone else take the lead on starting her firearms education.

Hey I know a friend of mettle that has tought his own wife, daughter and son to shoot, the kids still speak to him and his wife still sleeps with him.

I would bet he would be happy to teach her, in fact his wife would come with him.

 

[Pami]

So.... from a woman who decided a year ago that she needed to know how to operate one of "those" guns in case someone ever broke into the house...

I trusted my husband and his judgment, but I wanted someone else to show me how to shoot. I wanted to take a class, but I made the (incorrect) assumption that the other people in the class would have actually held a gun before and know how it works and know all the basic safety stuff. So I was willing to let him show me. However, he said, "Would it be better if someone else showed you how to shoot?" And to be honest, I was a lot more comfortable with that. Point to this paragraph: Ask her if having someone else show her how to handle a gun would be ok.

Before we went to the range, Lars covered all the basic safety rules. He even took his S&W 22a all apart for me (it was all we owned at the time because I refused to admit there were guns in the house). So I have a very vague, very general idea of the 4 safety rules, which really are common sense. But one thing you want to make VERY clear when you cover the safety rules: don't talk with your hands. I can't tell you how many times I broke that "Don't point the gun at anything you're not willing to destroy" rule because I would turn to ask a question.

As for starting out with a .22. Yes, ok, once I actually started going to the range and practicing, I use a .22. But the first gun I ever shot was a compensated G17c. And after I got over the amazement that I didn't drop the gun after I fired it, he handed me a G26 because it was a little smaller.

I *knew* I was going to have to move up into a 9mm at a minimum, so I wanted a .22 to practice with that was going to be as similar to its 9mm brothers as possible, and I ended up with a SIG Mosquito.

So Summary:
1) Have someone else take her shooting the first time. You can be there to support and encourage, but have someone else show her.
2) Don't be afraid to start with the 9mm. At least let her know what she needs to be building toward.
3) Cover the safety rules before you ever hit the range.

Not saying anything anybody else hasn't already said, except to disagree with the 9mm part. Your wife has made the decision that she should probably know how to handle your firearms "just in case." Now that she's determined, don't underestimate her determination to absorb it all. Just know where her cup-is-full line is, and be sure you stop when she's full.

 

[SilentWarrior1]

*nudges Pami* Take Mandy with you...

 

[kludge]

Your wife has made the decision that she should probably know how to handle your firearms "just in case." Now that she's determined, don't underestimate her determination to absorb it all. Just know where her cup-is-full line is, and be sure you stop when she's full.

^^^ That.

I just wish I knew when it was full before I knew it was full, if you know what I mean. Maybe I'll figure it out in another 13 years.

And I also agree that a woman determined to learn to shoot will handle a .38/9mm just fine even on her first time out.

My wife gave herself a week to prepare her mind... I told her "Cool, I'll load you up some powder puff .38's". After the first shot, she took a moment to gather herself and then went through about 50-60 more rounds.

Then is was "OK I'm done, my kids need me now, it's time to go."

 

[Jeremiah]

not so much eared at women but at all new shooters. use reactive targets the first time or two , clay pigeons, shoot'n'c targets, steel plates, water bottles. these provide more and faster feed back on a hit. plus it makes people focus on the hits and not how big the group size is. most of the time when you start sooting paper, you walk up to check the target. and see a bunch of scattered holes can be dis heartening. now if they hit a clay and it breaks they see it and feel a bit of success, and that can be more encouraging to keep going.

 

[Redskinsfan]

depends on the individuals involved

There were several posters who stated or agreed with the all encompassing statement that "husbands and boyfriends make the worst firearms instructors" or words to that effect. This statement is entirely dependent on the individuals involved. For some it is true, for others such as my wife and me it is completely false. I taught my wife to shoot a rifle when I was a boy friend and then taught her to shoot handguns and much later, shotguns when I was her husband. No problems whatsoever.

Consider if the person performing the role of instructor has the patience and demeanor to teach. Consider also the person in the role of student, does she have the patience and demeanor to be taught? If no to either, find a third party, otherwise it will go very well.

Terry