Generally, men are not sent with guns to collect taxes. It is occasionally necessary, when the government knows that its efforts to collect will be resisted with force. Usually wages are garnished. Sometimes property is seized. Waco was about a lot more than taxes, but I think you know that.
Government is the agent of society. It tries to tax in ways that are the least harmful, or are even beneficial (in the case of fines), and it attempts to spend in a similar way. It is good for everyone that the poor get a check instead of starving or stealing.
People are funny. When they are doing well, they credit only themselves. They had no help from the government, or their family, or their community. When people are doing poorly, suddenly the world is out to get them! Everyone is a racist, bigot, and tyrant.
If your final method of collection is men with guns, your method of collection is through force. The threat of force is by definition using force.
Government is an agent of politics, which is a mechanism of popularity and power exchange. The government tries to tax in ways that will get the politicians currently in power elected. That is why we had a Constitution, to limit the power of government to use the threat of force to take money from someone unlikely to vote for them and give it to someone else who is more likely to vote for them.
I'm all for families and communities helping out. Let them do it from freedom, not from force.