Let's have a discussion about kids...

[JohnP82]

To each their own. You both agree on not having children so that is all that matters. Nothing wrong with that, surely does not make you bad people. You only get one go around on this planet, gotta do it how you want! My

The day my son was born is the greatest day of my life and I am proud to be his dad. I know several other people including my brother who never plan to have children and I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[Expat]

There is a member here that admitted it, so I know at least 1.

But the fact that you can count them on one hand proves his point. I would find life without my children pointless.

 

[abnk]

oh boy, you're one of those...

I thought you wanted a discussion.

 

[ralphb72]

Children are a gift from God. We had two kids who were growing up, and my life was spiraling out of control. God's gift to us of two more boys changed my life forever. They brought me back to earth, made me become a responsible person again. Without that gift, I would most definitely be alone and destitute. Now I am a better husband and father then I ever was before. Better even, then when I thought I was doing good early in my two older children's lives.

 

[ralphb72]

IF all of the intelligent people decide not to have kids, in 500 years, a person that we consider to be of average intelligence, will be the smartest person in the world. There will be dust bowls, and problems with crops, and no one will be smart enough to solve the problems of all of the mounting trash in the world.









Just in case you didn't get the reference: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/
The movie that is so stupid that it is funny.

 

[dom1104]

Children are a gift from God. We had two kids who were growing up, and my life was spiraling out of control. God's gift to us of two more boys changed my life forever. They brought me back to earth, made me become a responsible person again. Without that gift, I would most definitely be alone and destitute. Now I am a better husband and father then I ever was before. Better even, then when I thought I was doing good early in my two older children's lives.

I agree 100% Ralph.

 

[ralphb72]

When I grow up I don't want to get married or have kids. Also it would be kinda hard to find a wife because I'm catholic and the whole Catholics can't marry Non Catholics thing

Actually that is incorrect. My wife (Catholic) and I (Methodist) got married in a Catholic Church. You still have to go through the marriage prep classes (which is a good idea anyway), and the Non-Catholic has to agree to have any children baptized and raised in the Church, but you can marry a Non-Catholic in the Church.

 

[IndyGunworks]

Actually that is incorrect. My wife (Catholic) and I (Methodist) got married in a Catholic Church. You still have to go through the marriage prep classes (which is a good idea anyway), and the Non-Catholic has to agree to have any children baptized and raised in the Church, but you can marry a Non-Catholic in the Church.

agreed, i am catholic and my wife pentacostol. My sister was catholic and her husband non demominational.

we all got married in a catholic church, just didnt have the full catholic wedding w/ communion.

in fact my uncle who is a catholic priest has been the "proctor" at all of our immediate and distant family weddings, probably over 20 of them, and there is only one that i can recall where it was a catholic marrying a catholic.

 

[goinggreyfast]

I waited till I was 32 years old before I got married. The woman I married is my best friend, soulmate, lover, and best of all--the woman God chose for me. We have been together for some 20 years and have been married for 18 of those 20. I cannot imagine life here on earth without her by my side.

My wife cannot have children, I knew that going in and it did not matter to me. But understand that at 50 years of age, there are times when I wish we would have at least looked at the adoption option and now it's pretty much too late for us. I guess I feel that more now than before. My father went home to be with the Lord some 7.5 years ago. Since then, Father's Day just doesn't seem to have the meaning it used to. There is nobody out there to share Father's Day, Christmas, hunting, camping, etc, etc, with. My nieces and nephews are getting older now and they don't come around like they used to. Mother's Day for my wife is not easy either. You see, she had no choice when it came to not having children, her's was a physical condition which required surgery for her to live.

I guess I said all that to say don't just decide to not have children. There are positives and negatives to not having children. I would suggest that you evaluate your choice regularly, because one day you may look back and wish differently. That's all...

 

[Wesley Willis]

I thought you wanted a discussion.

I did, that's why I started this thread. And there has been great responses on both sides of the fence. But I knew sooner or later I would get the "kids are the best thing ever" from someone. Do you honestly think everyone should have kids to feel complete?

 

[dom1104]

I did, that's why I started this thread. And there has been great responses on both sides of the fence. But I knew sooner or later I would get the "kids are the best thing ever" from someone. Do you honestly think everyone should have kids to feel complete?

1: yes, kids are the best thing ever.

2: no they are not required to live a meaningfull life.

Life has meaning beyond children.

Children also have meaning beyond screwing up your " me time" and acting bad in restaurants.

Both ways of living are 100% up to you and your wife to decide. There is no wrong answer.

 

[abnk]

No, I don't think everyone needs kids to feel complete. You are one example of that. However, that was not my point.

I will stand by my statement that you don't know the greatest joy in life until you have kids. Perhaps you went back in time and invented the combustion engine, or maybe you have a cure for AIDS, I don't know. That might be more joyful. Please name your great joy in life for the sake of the discussion you started.

 

[abnk]

There is no wrong answer.

No, but there is an unnatural answer.

 

[dom1104]

No, but there is an unnatural answer.

Huh, I dont know if I would go that far.



I am the biggest pro-kids guy every, but if you dont want them, I wouldnt say you gotta shrug your shoulders, look over at your wife and say "Well, we gotta. Meet you in bed in 15 minutes.<sigh>. "

 

[jsharmon7]

It's all in your perspective. Some people couldn't imagine life without kids, some are perfectly happy without them. Some people couldn't imagine life without religion, some are perfectly happy without it. Some people couldn't imagine life without a loving wife/husband at home, some are perfectly happy being unattached. You can't judge either side as being right or wrong. I feel your pain, OP starter, about people outside of the relationship always bugging you about things. The key is to ignore them, it works for me!

 

[eldirector]

No, but there is an unnatural answer.

Which is?

 

[RockofStrength]

No, but there is an unnatural answer.

I'm confused as to why not wanting a child is unnatural

 

[abnk]

I'm confused as to why not wanting a child is unnatural

Not wanting to procreate is unnatural. All beings live and procreate to ensure their breed will continue. Even those humans who don't want kids have the drive to procreate, but choose to suppress by finding solutions to ensure they don't have progeny.

It's nobody's business whether a couple decides to have kids or not, but if they choose not to, don't expect me to accept it as a natural choice.

 

[techres]

Freedom is the ability to choose.

Choose to have kids.
Choose not to.
Choose to listen to people who want something for you that you do not.
Choose to smile and think of reloading ammo while nodding.
Choose to leave your life decision offline.
Choose to ask a bunch of opinionated strangers to opinionate at you.

All choices, all a part of your freedom.

Now, since you asked, is my opinion:

1. People who do not want kids should not have them. That is all fine and dandy but understand that your choice will not determine what the rest of us do and since there are more of us - we will have the market win on having kids at the restaurants. Simple market forces and all.

2. Understand that the future will be determined by those who have kids. At the crudest level there are countries who will change in the next 50 years simply people who are educated and western have decided for many reasons to not have kids while immigrants are having tons. Give that 50 years and the math is simple. Italy, Israel, all sorts of nations are looking hard at this reality. It is not a good reason to have a kid, but it is a funny reality.

3. Your family/friends love you and when they bug you about kids you should take it as a compliment. It is something that brings them so much joy that they want you to have the same. They mean well. Just nod and think of running .44 thought a progressive press or whatever your happy place is.


You only get one life. Live it as you will. For some the life journey is enough. For others leaving behind a continuance is important enough to make it happen. For others the wish to not die alone in a room is important. Whatever the reason, it is your reason, your choice.

And each of us should be happy we have the freedom to choose as we wish.

 

[RockofStrength]

Not wanting to procreate is unnatural. All beings live and procreate to ensure their breed will continue. Even those humans who don't want kids have the drive to procreate, but choose to suppress by finding solutions to ensure they don't have progeny.

It's nobody's business whether a couple decides to have kids or not, but if they choose not to, don't expect me to accept it as a natural choice.

I would say rather that the desire to have children is the mainstream, or most common desire that most people have naturally. Some few are given other things to set their time to. It is not unnatural, because that assumes that every person is made with procreation as one of their chief purposes which I would say is not true.