INGO: Joke of the day page

[armalitesheepdog]

Scottish bag piper is in a bar having a pint. Woman walks up and says is it true you wear nothing under your kilt.
He says reach up there and find out. She does and says that's gruesome. He says yep and its a about to grow some morel

 

[actaeon277]

A policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said: “I’m Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya and I am visiting my daughter in Tallahassee.”
The officer put away his summons book and pen, and said: “Well … Okay, but don’t let me catch you speeding again.”

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Random_71]

Bit of an old one but...

Leonid Brezhnev goes on a diplomatic mission to Egypt.
Near the Nile he decides to get out and go put his feet in the water.
His two bodyguards are sitting in the car. The younger one nervously says "Shouldn't we go make sure he is safe? What will happen to us if he gets eaten by an crocodile?"
The older guard calmly lights a cigarette, "I dont know, comrade, but I do know that lizard would be ****ing medals for a month."

 

[Bigtanker]

 

[Dentoro]

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

 

[JCSR]

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

 

[JCSR]

 

[Lpherr]

View attachment 187645

That's the male version of the duckass cut for woman, it's the buckass.
He should avoid any wooded area.

 

[Dentoro]

How do you get a country girl’s attention?

Attract her. (#a tractor)

 

[Ironhippie]

J. Know why your turds are tapered?





A. So, your ******* don't slam shut!

 

[76Too]

Guy walks into a bar...

...ouch.

 

[bloodandgutsmurphy]

A woman is arrested for shoplifting a can of peaches. When she goes to court the judge asks her how many pieces of fruit are in a can. She says 6. The judge says "Okay, I'm going to lock you up for 6 days." Before the gavel is struck, the husband yells out, "she stole a can of peas to."

 

[gregr]

Where do you take someone who`s been seriously injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?

ICU

 

[spencer rifle]

Why does the new Italian Navy have glass-bottom boats?

So they can see the old Italian Navy.

 

[gregr]

What do you do if you`re attacked by a mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler...

 

[Drewski]

INGO: Joke of the day page

Got a funny joke, hear a good one at work? Post them here. I'll start it....... A guy walks into an antique store and picks up an old lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. "I will grant you one wish" Hmmmmm, I with my penis touched the floor. The genie crosses his arms and says...

www.indianagunowners.com

 

[indyblue]

How do you circumcise a whale?






With 4 skin divers.

 

[tmcindy]

Woman walks into a bar with a mini skirt on and no panties. Walks up to the bar and orders a beer. Guy sitting next to her says to the bartender, "Boy, I'd sure like to eat ice cream out of that". The woman overhears what the guy said and storms out of the bar. When she gets home, she squawks to her husband, "Blaw blaw blaw, waa waa waa, go kick his ass". Her husband replies, "No, I'm not gonna go kick his ass. First off, you shouldn't have gone there by yourself, second, you should have been wearing panties, and third, I'm not messing with anyone that can eat that much ice cream".