INGO: Joke of the day page

[Sigblitz]

Still see it.

 

[Ballstater98]

If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

 

[Bigtanker]

If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

Only if they ate a clown fish for lunch..

 

[jamil]

If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

Well, pretty much everything coming out of a Democrat smells funny, so...

 

[spencer rifle]

 

[daddyusmaximus]

History tidbit. The fastest manmade object isn't a hypersonic jet or spacecraft, but a large manhole cover.... When the US started doing underground nuclear testing, nobody really knew what would happen. One test bomb was placed at the bottom of a 485-foot deep shaft on July 26, 1957, and someone thought it was a good idea to put a half-ton iron manhole cover on top to contain the explosion.

The bomb turned the shaft into the world's largest Roman candle, and the manhole cover was nowhere to be found. Robert Brownlee, an astrophysicist who designed the test, wanted to repeat the experiment with high-speed cameras so he could figure out what happened to the cover. So another experiment was created, this time 500-feet deep, and a similar half-ton manhole cover was placed on top. On August 27, 1957, they detonated the bomb. The high-speed cameras barely caught a view of the cover as it left the top of the shaft and headed into oblivion. Brownlee used the frames to calculate the speed to be more than 125,000 miles per hour.... more than five times the escape velocity of the Earth, and the fastest man-made object in history.

Physicists have debated the whereabouts of the two manhole covers ever since. Recently, with the help of supercomputers and a lot more scientific knowledge, physicists are certain that they wouldn't have had time to burn up completely before exiting the atmosphere. This means both of the remaining pieces would have passed Pluto's orbit sometime around 1961 and are way beyond the edge of the solar system by now.


Scientists also came to the conclusion that Epstein didn't kill himself.

 

[halfmileharry]

 

[actaeon277]

Yup

 

[Bigtanker]

A Czech and a Russian researcher finally got the chance to travel to Yellowstone National Park to study bears. When they got there, their contact said it was the worst possible time to be deep in the woods with the bears as they were preparing to hibernate and they posed a huge risk to humans. Not wanting to miss a chance of a lifetime, they went anyway. They were to check in with the ranger twice a day, every day.

Three days went by and all was well. On the fourth day, they missed both check in calls. The ranger and his team went looking. They found their camp tore up. They knew the area was home to a male and female bear. They found the female and tranquilized her. Sure enough, they found the Russian had been eaten by female. That meant....the Czech was in the male!!!

 

[daddyusmaximus]

There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him.

The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.

So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.

By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.

The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him. The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel.

The squirrel says to the man says, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"

 

[Ballstater98]

A blonde was sitting in a bar wondering why she only has 3 sisters, when her brother has 4.

 

[smokingman]

My son asked me "Where does pooh come from"?
I was a little uncomfortable,but did my best to give him an honest answer.
He looked a me perplexed in stunned silence for a few seconds and then asked...
and Tigger?

 

[eldirector]

What do you call a fat baby?

Heavy Infantry.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters but never has five letters.

 

[Bigtanker]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters but never has five letters.

Correct.

 

[Sigblitz]

Correct.

It only has 2 letters.

 

[Hoosierdood]

What (4 letters) has four letters, occasionally (12 letters) has twelve letters, always (6 letters) has six letters but never (5 letters) has five letters.

Hate to Denny this, but...


(for those who didn't get it)

 

[Sigblitz]

Hate to Denny this, but...


(for those who didn't get it)

This had so much potential.

Mine has 4 letters. Yours has five letters. But theirs has 6 letters.

 

[jamil]

All mother****ers have 13 letters. Four of which are asterisks.

 

[Bill of Rights]

All mother****ers have 13 letters. Four of which are asterisks.

Point of order

Two of those letters are repeated.